reddit is so triggering but i try to delete it but end up redownloading it i don’t know how to stop it

I know a few of you saw my posts about my ERP and the googling urges. That didn’t end up going well. My therapist actually decided we needed to halt it for now. The thing is it’s almost like I learned googling is harmless from those few exercises and my brain keeps generating more things to google. Normally I would just spiral and be done but now I can barely hold back from searching for long. I eventually give in. I’m horrified because it feels like I want to find illegal content. I swear on everything I am, I don’t want to find anything even close to it. I’m freaking out because I don’t understand what’s happening. I keep compulsively searching/testing/checking or idk. I keep remembering details and I feel like I need to google again to be sure of something. I feel absolutely insane can someone please help me??? I’m petrified I’m going to get in trouble.

I’m so stressed, my mind is always telling me to recheck my messages that I sent because what if I said something racist, inappropriate or mean to the person I was messaging. Or what if I post something inappropriate or rude, the only way I can somewhat cope is by logging out of my socials every night. But even that is a long progress. Like I have to make sure to read every message I sent and that it’s safe for me to leave it for the night. And if it doesn’t feel right I have to log back in over and over until it looks and feels good to me. I’m so exhausted lol:,)

Ok so I just downloaded this app like two days ago because I was looking for a OCD specialist. Maybe this is just my opinion but the posting’s on this app can be super triggering. If feels like even sharing your experience on an app like this can contribute to fueling OCD. So many people I see reassurance seeking, confessing and posting the same things multiple times to gain certainty. Makes me wonder if this app is counterproductive to the point of OCD treatment. I’m guilty of spending hours scrolling through the post trying to find people who relate to me, but in the end it makes me more anxious and fuels my OCD. Idk what do you guys think.