- Username
- anonymousN
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Ocd will have you focus on things that trigger you because your brain is determined to falsely keep you safe, depending on what your theme is, your brain will try to find it, it may be even when you least expect it, understand one thing, you have ocd, ocd is a liar and does not define you nor does it tell you who you are. If I was to tell you to go drink water right now would you do it? The answer should be no. I am not you nor do I tell you what to do, ocd is the same, ocd is not you nor should it tell you what to do. Therapy will help you find yourself again and use your values to start making decisions again. Your gender is not defined by what people say nor what you hear nowadays, that is a bigger topic to discuss but please seek therapy. Don't be afraid, you're never alone.
I really need help on this too I'm obsessed about d small size of my bathroom coz deres a toilet in it too so I get irritated at the tot so boom! One day a tot came up that this is not a bathroom but a toilet so I even felt more irritated that I am bathing in a small bathroom which I now see as toilet . Coz of this I repeatedly open my bathroom door to analyse the tot I can open my bathroom door 20 times a day this tot ibeen in my head for like 3months now.
@Giftyoy Seek help, don't be afraid to ask for help
Thank you that really helps . I try to remind myself of this but sometimes I get so scared that I have changed forever . I am in therapy I just started I hope I see the light at the end of the tunnel soon
I feel like social media is the biggest reason for this. It absolutely causes many people to be more confused if they weren't already. I'm a grown woman but if I were younger, I might also be pulled into that. Gender isn't a malleable thing, it's just biology and the problem I see is from childhood girls and boys are expected to behave and look a certain way that leads to even more confusion because not all girls have a preference for the color pink, play with dolls and enjoy wearing dresses. Tom Boys almost stopped existing lately but when I was younger even in my teen years, I was a tomboy because I didn't fit the gender stereotype of a girl but now you're told if you don't that you might be another gender which is quite scary and makes many vacillate between thoughts of what gender they are and mental health issues worsen this complicated dance of thoughts.
This is true , I always liked the girly stuff and I still do idk why but ocd tells me I hate it even though that’s what made me happy before
@anonymousN While I personally disagree that gender is biology I see your main point. I literally despise my body now.
We live in a gender and self identity obsessed culture, this stuff is naturally triggering. Social media doesn’t help either.
Same except with hocd, my whole perception of man and woman has changed and its honestly caused me immense pain
What did your values tell you about men and women before ocd?
@NOCD Advocate - Cesar O. Well my memory has become bad so I cant remmeber how I used to think before but I only looked at women as partners. I also didnt think about sexuality at all before but after hocd, so much rumination and learning about sexuality, intrusive thoughts( If thats what they are), I understand that its ok if someone likes the same sex but thats causing me confusion, so anytime I look at a guy or talk to them It feels like I could also like them the same way I liked girls. It bascially shifted my perception of typical Man-Woman and how I viewed both genders to se degree. Hope that made some sense?
@Imaan7 Have you been to a therapist or talked about it with anyone?
@NOCD Advocate - Cesar O. No, but I opened up to my family last night after dealing with this for year and a half. They would support therapy but what do you think? Does that sound like ocd at all? Thats just one of the big thought process that I got after ocd
@Imaan7 That's good I'm glad you spoke to your family and I'm glad they support therapy. The sad thing is that this ocd is called the doubting disease which means that even if I say yes it's ocd, some times after you will doubt my answer and will start questioning these thoughts. This is what ocd is like. My dear brother God loves you as you are, put yourself in His hands let Him guide you through recovery. Have faith. No matter what your preference is sexually it doesn't not rule your life. There's so much beauty and meaning in life than just who turns you on. Sexual attraction is still not completely studied nor understood but even then it should not be the focus of your life. Attraction shouldn't bring you disgust nor anxiety it should bring you joy and good emotions. If you are anxious by thought of liking a gender you're not sure of then it mean you're not attracted at all. Ocd is lying to you. Seek therapy trust your Heavenly Father. He loves you. God bless
Yes. This. I think I'm trans now, I think maybe I always have been, I think I'll never be able to go back, if there was even a back to go to.
Hey I relate to what you said in your profile, Im having a hard time remembering my past self. I have a feeling like I was always gay just didnt notice it. Cant really remember how I used to think back then, memorys real hazy
i understand—seeing all these new words and concepts can be very stressful to understand and digest. i think it's important to remember that someone else's mode of identity is their own and your identity is yours alone to describe as well. if you feel like you're happy with how you identify now, that's cool! and if you happen to change your mind sometime down the line, that's a-okay too. don't be pressured to identify as something you're not comfortable with. all of these new concepts are really just meant for people who didn't feel like traditional gender roles and perceptions of sexuality fit them personally. questioning shouldn't be a distressing experience honestly—it should be an enlightening one! don't force yourself to question if it's only hurting you, just be yourself and vibe ✨
It’s ridiculous how much people discussing HOCD bothers me. I know it’s a form of OCD, which I understand is out of the person’s control. I know mental illness is not a choice. I have OCD, so I get it. I get invasive thoughts about being hetero, so it makes sense that it works the other way too. I know the people who have HOCD aren’t necessarily homophobic. It does kind of make me feel like my sexuality is a worst case scenario, though. I can’t help but think “people are as afraid of being like me, as I am of heart attacks”. Idk. It just almost feels like people are saying “oh no what if I’m gay” “don’t worry, you’re straight. You’re okay because you’re straight” (which I know isn’t the case). It could just be because of the lack of positivity I’ve seen surrounding the queer community lately, though. I’m not trying to call out or invalidate people with HOCD though, I know it’s something that they don’t enjoy, and it’s something they suffer with just as much as I suffer with my OCD. Sorry, just needed to get that off my chest
Any body here with transgender ocd that evolved from from hocd, and now they are intertwined. Is really amazing how our brains works, my brain went from hocd to harm ocd to pedohile ocd to relationships ocd and now transgender ocd. And the heart of the matter is that I don’t care what it is no more, fuck reassurance and I’m not going to play ocd games anymore, if it says I’m a woman or female, I guess I might be or might not. Honestly, half of the time I’m happy that I’m unsure about my gender andthe anxiety swells up. That way I can let thought be and see the whole picture of thoughts even if they were true. I honestly don’t know if they are true or not but I will live with it and live according to my values. Btw I was triggered while I wrote, I hope I stay triggered ?????.
Rant (I'm feeling frustrated and having a hard time with the ocd community, so if you don't want to read, just keep scrolling) When people talk about soocd, they always talk about straight or gay people having this obsession, but never bisexual people. So then when people explain it simply as ego dystonic when you get thoughts about being attracted to a certain sex, that simply doesn't apply for bisexual people (because obviously bisexuality is being attracted to multiple genders, therefore telling a bisexual person with soocd that they are NOT actually attracted to a certain gender is incorrect, because what a bisexual person with soocd actually fears is typically that they are only attracted to on gender, as opposed to multiple like they always thought), So the thing is, I immediately feel left out and like I am the exception. It feels like no one ever explains what it's like to have been comfortably attracted to multiple genders, only for ocd to suddenly make you doubt whether you are attracted to one of those genders at all. (Example: I was a bisexual woman when my soocd first got triggered, dating my boyfriend, and the ocd makes me obsessively doubt whether I like men at all/wonder what if I'm fully gay.) Why does nobody talk about this? It's incredibly isolating and frustrating and leaves me feeling like soocd resources do not apply to me or my situation and simply spiral me into more despair that I am the exception. I don't know if it's rooted in biphobia or simply a lack of awareness of bisexuality in the mental health community, but it's incredibly difficult feeling like I don't even belong among other soocd sufferers either. I'm sorry if this makes people uncomfortable who have soocd and obsess about being bisexual, I know it can be a trigger. However, I will not say the reasons that I knew I was bisexual when I found out, I'm tired of getting asked that compulsive question and being expected to answer, which only makes ocd worse for the person asking as well as making my ocd worse.
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