I want to share some advice, having dealt with SOOCD for years now. Maybe it will help others to identify some of their compulsions and reduce, maybe not but I think it's good sometimes to have perspective from people who've been through the ringer for a long time. -a desire for certainty is at the root of nearly every thought, urge, sensation, and compulsion you will experience with soocd, because at the root of that is a very normal human need for control -anytime you want to know the answer to questions like "does X mean Y about me?" Or "does anyone else _____?" Or "if I did/do ___ does it mean ___ about me?" Or "so and so said or does ____, and we have one thing in common, does that mean I am/will do it too?".... my friends these are all desperate compulsions to get certainty. They are answer seeking compulsions and will fuel your ocd to the point that you no longer experience present life, but instead spend 24/7 in your head like I have done so many times. -no one, NO ONE, can decide, understand, or know answers about your personal identity. You must accept the uncertainty and discomfort of not knowing for sure, and in the face of that fear, choose to act on values, which a therapist can help you work on in sessions (yes, I know, it's difficult to know values when ocd twists our minds around, this is why it's good to have a therapist) -anytime you find yourself trying to remember a thought or memory, and you can't stop attempting to remember it, that is a mental compulsion, and remembering that thing won't give you relief -ocd doesn't just disappear, even after treatment. There is no magic cure, and it does take dedication and work. It freaking sucks that we have to deal with that in this illness, but we do. If you go through treatment and improve, then start avoiding triggers again or stop paying attention to your ocd cycle, it can possibly get worse, so you have to stay on top of things. Our brains just need a little extra help and that's what erp is for but it takes time. -sadly, don't expect people to understand you outside of therapy, ocd forums and support groups. Maybe my perspective is cynical, but I believe that we have the right to be selective about who we tell the content of our ocd to because it shouldn't be our job to educate every single one of our friends about how ocd works to avoid their potential judgment. Not everyone will understand or need to know. -keep record of your good days in a journal and make note of your behaviors around those times. What were you eating, drinking , doing for exercise, how were you sleeping, were you meditating, did you have a routine, were you doing erp?, what were your triggers and how were you facing them? Understand your behaviors to see how they helped you face your ocd better than you did on the bad days. <3 you're not alone. I hope my advice can help in at least some small way. I know how easy it is to get hopeless. I've been feeling hopeless with my ocd for most of this summer. But we will get through this. <3