Anyone else’s OCD isn’t “just” thoughts anymore but feelings and body responses etc. too? ?

Sensorimotor and checking OCD ~ First post on NOCD. Does anyone else have an abnormal amount of focus on bodily sensations? How do you deal with it? Also the doubt that comes with harm coming to your loved ones if you don’t check something in a “special” way. What helped you the most?

It’s so weird how OCD just comes about with no explanation, out of nowhere. My issue has been feelings. I have moments of hyper focusing on feelings, trying to figure them out, and it’s exhausting. Logically, I know that what I’m going through with the things happening in my life (relationship ending that was abusive, my father just getting diagnosed with dementia, etc) would make anyone feel the way I do. But I keep trying to fight my feelings. “Normally, old me” would embrace them and let them be. Ever since my OCD returned, I can’t help but fixate on them and stress even more. It’s almost like my emotions and the way we are as humans in my mind has become even more of a problem than the problems themselves. Can anyone relate? I am doing my best with ERP. I definitely helps. But I’m still waking up not feeling like myself and it hurts.

I do not even know how to explain what I am experiencing right now. It feels like I am not even myself and it feels like the thoughts are stronger than ever before and that they are more compelling? But I also do not feel like I’m inside my body so it’s making it extra scary. I’ve never experienced OCD like this before. I’ve been doing a lot better overall but now with this, I’m feeling doomed to just be what my thoughts say. It feels like I’ve lost my mind if I am being honest and every thing is triggering me. It does not feel like OCD this time. Any advice?