How are you defining anxiety? Anxiety can be much more than a fast heartbeat or fear. It can manifest in many different ways, and I think the fact that you’re searching for the anxiety is a manifestation of anxiety itself. It’s like your compulsion is to check that you have anxiety because that means that what you’re feeling is just from OCD and it’s not real. But brains are tricky. Perhaps you know that’s what you’re doing, so the OCD part of your brain is sabotaging you and making you believe that you aren’t anxious. I’m not a professional by any means. I just want you to know that you aren’t alone. I think to myself often “if I’m thinking this, then it must be true.” But thoughts are just thoughts. You should really think about talking to a counselor if you haven’t! You don’t have to do this alone.
omg this is so amazing!
Also, I’ve had an obsession that there’s a demon or vampire watching me while I sleep, waiting to consume me. I’ve had this obsession since i was a child. Does this mean it’s true? Does having this obsession for so long really mean that it must be true? My brain sometimes thinks it has to be true, but let’s be honest. There’s not a vampire that’s going to eat me (I don’t even fully believe this whole im saying it, but that doesn’t make it any less true). It doesn’t matter how long you feel something. Time doesn’t determine truth.