Whyyocd
- Date posted
- 3y
PinkLotusPinkLotus
- Date posted
- 3y
When my boyfriend left that happened to me where I couldn’t day dream about kissing him anymore
Whyyocd Whyyocd
- Date posted
- 3y
It sucks 😣 how are you doing though?! 🥺
PinkLotusPinkLotus
- Date posted
- 3y
@Whyyocd I know I’m sorry :( but I promise it gets better and that you don’t have to daydream about him everyday for the love to be any more real. I’m okay! My new obsession is being pregnant haha 😅
Whyyocd Whyyocd
- Date posted
- 3y
@PinkLotus Thank you 🥺🤍 and oh no I’m sorry!! I’ve experienced that before too! I’m still a virgin and I really freaked out that I somehow might have gotten pregnant 🙃 This was with a past bf. I literally felt crazy. I’m sure you’ll feel a lot better once you get your period ☺️ Also, do you have any advice? Before my soocd I knew I wanted my current bf to be my first. Now I’m obviously worried about a bunch of things because of soocd but also like the other worries about having sex for the first time.
PinkLotusPinkLotus
- Date posted
- 3y
@Whyyocd Yeah I’m still a Virgin too haha and just anytime we do stuff I get scared 😐I really hope so! And I’m still in the same boat , I want my boyfriend to be my first of course but I’m also scared about soocd worries and regular sex worries. I guess my best advice would be to stick to your gut and what you wanted before all the crazy ocd ! Sex takes time so don’t think it’ll be perfect right away and know that at the end of the day it’s something special to be shared with your partner. ❤️
Whyyocd Whyyocd
- Date posted
- 3y
@PinkLotus Ahhhh thank you and you’re right 🥺❤️ and I honestly think I’m gonna get scared too about the same thing lol but it’s okay. We will keep pushing through
Whyyocd Whyyocd
- Date posted
- 3y
@PinkLotus Hey! I’m really sorry to bother you but I was wondering if I could ask you some questions?
PinkLotusPinkLotus
- Date posted
- 3y
@Whyyocd Of course go ahead!
Whyyocd Whyyocd
- Date posted
- 3y
@PinkLotus @PinkLotus Thank you 🥺 I’m starting to get anxious about the fact that I’m gonna see my boyfriend in 3 weeks. Like what if I don’t feel the same or I’m not attracted and etc… how were you able to get passed that anxiety?
PinkLotusPinkLotus
- Date posted
- 3y
@Whyyocd Honestly when I saw him again it was amazing I felt/feel so happy but unfortunately all that anxiety is still there. But when I’m with him it’s a lot less, I recommend just trying to focus on the moment and don’t worry about how it “should” feel or what it’s “supposed” to be like because those expectations will make you more anxious. He’s only here for a short time, enjoy that and don’t waste it thinking about things that are just part of a meaningless cycle. 💌
Whyyocd Whyyocd
- Date posted
- 3y
@PinkLotus Thank you 🥺💗 so you were anxious when you first saw him again? I feel like that’s how I’m gonna be. But then I’ll also have moments when I think everything is going to be fine. I just care too much I’m sorry it’s hard to not ruminate about things right now 😞
PinkLotusPinkLotus
- Date posted
- 3y
@Whyyocd Of course :) and hmm well the first night I was super happy but when we did things I did feel anxious and anxious afterwards. I do think I’m always at least a little anxious around him because of how badly I want it to be good so I overanalyze it but it’s super easy to ignore and push to the side
Whyyocd Whyyocd
- Date posted
- 3y
@PinkLotus That’s good 🥺 thank you again!
Whyyocd Whyyocd
- Date posted
- 3y
@PinkLotus Hey! I’m sorry to bother you again 🥲 I see my boyfriend this Wednesday! I was wondering if you had any “last minute” advice? Also, how are you?!
PinkLotusPinkLotus
- Date posted
- 3y
@Whyyocd Hi it’s no bother at all! Honestly, just enjoy every single moment with him no matter what your mind tries to tell you. He is here after so long , enjoy that moment before it’s over. You don’t have to listen to anything your brain says. I’m okay, he landed in Japan 2 days ago and I just miss him so so much. I thought it’d be easier but it’s harder being away from him this time. I’m grateful for all the time we spent together and I enjoyed every moment even when I was anxious, you will too 💌
Whyyocd Whyyocd
- Date posted
- 3y
@PinkLotus That’s so good!!! 🥺💗 and I’m sorry you miss him so much! Long distance is hard :( and thank you again!! My boyfriend is going to Japan after this too!
PinkLotusPinkLotus
- Date posted
- 3y
@Whyyocd Of course I’m here for you , lmk how it goes ! 💗It really is hard and is he going to Oki?
Whyyocd Whyyocd
- Date posted
- 3y
@PinkLotus Ty 🥺 no he’s gonna be at Yokota japan! But hey maybe they will somehow meet each other 😂
PinkLotusPinkLotus
- Date posted
- 3y
@Whyyocd Haha maybe! 🤣
Related posts
Anonymous
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 25w
I feel like I don’t love him sometimes 💔
I realized I’ve depended a lot on my boyfriend for comfort through my ocd, and I’m starting to feel like even before my ocd I was paying more attention to the relationship itself more than him, or the attachment: even though I remember distinct feelings of me wanting to be with him forever, and feeling so happy and complete with him, time didn’t exist, I felt like my most authentic self. So now I’m trying to create a healthy attachment and see him as his own person, which was helping at first, but now it feels as if I’m seeing that I don’t actually love him for him, the thought of moving forward in life without him breaks my heart and I don’t want to but my mind keeps telling me that I want it because of the attachment. He’s the exact type of person and partner I would want but it feels like whatever I feel is not enough.. But I DO experience moments of affection and care and admiration for him but they don’t last long..before I started making this shift in perspective even with the ocd I was still so sure and confident in moving forward with him, I felt so much like I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life. But now that I’ve made this shift it feels like I’m seeing him from a whole different place. Like all those good and happy feelings I had for him are gone now and I don’t have any confidence in what I want anymore. Before I did feel confident that I wanted to be with him but now it feels like there’s this wall between him and me :( I want to be with him I know I do, because even now I still feel the desire to keep going, but I can’t see the future anymore or the confidence to keep going. I was never much of a future thinker, even in my personal life but this feels like added proof I feel like I’m alone in this like no one else has this situation and the chances for me to realize after I recover that I don’t actually love him are so much higher 💔
faye1010
- Date posted
- 24w
struggling with possible ROCD
anyone else have ROCD that has no desire to kiss their boyfriend, I almost feel like an ick when I do, I'm scared. Help!
Mariabae
- Date posted
- 23w
i am disconnected rocd
Lately, I’ve been feeling so disconnected from my boyfriend, and I don’t understand why. When I look at him, it feels like I’m looking at a stranger, and my mind keeps telling me that I don’t like him, that I never really loved him, or that I was just attached and comfortable. It feels real, and that terrifies me. I know logically that ROCD makes me overanalyze every little feeling, but it doesn’t make this any easier. I keep waiting to feel something—love, excitement, even relief—but instead, I just feel numb and distant. When we talk, I feel weird. When he kisses me, I don’t feel much. I keep thinking, ‘If I really loved him, wouldn’t I feel something?’ And the fact that I don’t just fuels my anxiety even more. It scares me that I can’t remember how I felt before ROCD took over. I look at old pictures, and my brain tells me, ‘That wasn’t real, you were just excited to have a relationship.’ And because I can’t access those feelings right now, it makes me doubt everything even more. I also feel guilty because my boyfriend is so loving and patient, but I feel like I’m hurting him. He tells me he doesn’t feel loved by me anymore, and I hate that I can’t just snap out of this and be the way I was before. It’s exhausting. I don’t know what’s real anymore. I keep checking how I feel every second, and it just makes me feel worse. I know that’s a compulsion, but it’s so hard to stop. I keep searching for certainty, but no answer satisfies me. Even when I try to accept the uncertainty, my mind screams, ‘But what if you don’t love him? What if you’re just lying to yourself?’ I want to be present with him. I want to feel love naturally again. But I don’t know how to get there, and it’s terrifying.”
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