I feel so lost and broken. Not myself

My ocd causes me to lose my sense of self like I’m worthless. And when I calm down or have a good day, my true self returns and I feel confident and full of love

I’m sorry 🥺 but I’m also glad you have good days! I thought I was doing better but then got super triggered I guess. It’s hard to think I’ll ever feel like myself again

@Whyyocd Right! When you’re in it, it does seem like a never ending feeling. And it’s hard to convince yourself “hey, ya know your true self really feels a different way”. In the moment those seem like just words and the bad stuff is reality. Feels so good when the axis turns, sucks to wait for it to pass.

@Whyyocd I didn’t mean for you to feel bad for me, lol. I was trying to relate and when I saw your apology, I thought to myself “oh no”. 🤦‍♀️

@LisaP99 No it’s okay!! Just for me, at least right now, even on my good days I don’t feel the most confident. It’s more like moments. Just because of all the intrusive thoughts, images, and etc. It’s gotten really hard. Like I just want to stay in my room again. But I’m in college so I gotta keep pushing through :)

@Whyyocd Yeah they’re relentless. And you’re supposed to go about life, doing what we’re supposed to do but I feel like I’m carrying around a 150 lb ugly hag on my back who just chatters in my hears all day; I hate her, lol. Hope you don’t mind me asking, are you seeing an ocd therapist currently?

@Whyyocd But during those moments of confidence, I make sure I recognize them, recognize how it feels, basically bookmarking them in my head and I refer back when I’m not feeling the greatest.

@LisaP99 That’s a great idea 🥺 and I literally feel the same!!! And yes I am. Since like mid July. I was with a different therapist though. I had to switch because I started college late August and our schedule couldn’t work. I went at least two weeks without having a session. That probably hurt me a lot because I went from one environment to a completely different one. Like I didn’t realize how much avoiding I was doing. And then coming back to college and having a job as a resident advisor. There’s absolutely no avoiding there lol

@Whyyocd Yeah, change in routine is hard for an ocd sufferer.

@Whyyocd Hey hope this isn’t too stalkish but yesterday afternoon I stumbled onto something I want to share. We’re already getting triggered and experiencing anxiety, might as well turn it into something beneficial. Episode #292 on https://theocdstories.com/ Really liked it!