- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Yes!! That is so exciting and i am really excited for you to take that huge step! Today i will move TOWARDS the anxiety instead of away from it :)
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you! So glad you have the intention to embrace the discomfort today! You can do this!
- Date posted
- 3y
Today I will text my same sex friends and let the thoughts that come to my head stay without judgement. Great job buying your house, and great post. :) thank you
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- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 24w
Iāve had so many moments of clarity with my OCD that I love my boyfriend and Iām beyond willing to go through this to be better and be with him. in the back of mind Iāve in a way known I was at least somewhat sexually attracted to women (Iām a woman) since the start of the ocd it was always like āokay. Fine, but I donāt want to date a girlā I only just realized this after the ocd started, I never really argued with this. my ocd has always revolved around if Iām romantically interested in women and not men. Iāve done so many compulsions through this year and a half and 9 times out of 10 have come to the conclusion that I donāt want to be with a woman romantically. I always end up feeling like I know I love my boyfriend. But the doubts donāt stop about whether I want to spend my life with a woman instead, my heart literally breaks to think of not being with my bf and imagining him with someone else. I donāt want to be with a woman I know deep down somewhere underneath the anxiety that thatās not what I want. It doesnāt feel natural for me, unfulfilling. I want to tell my boyfriend about the possible sexual attraction to women (ik itās still ocd related) but Iām scared that once I tell him, Iāll realize that I actually do want to be with women and not with him. Ugh Iāve spent hours today ruminating about this after being solid in my commitment with him for a little while, Iām stuck in this loop and idk how to get out right now
- User type
- Therapist
- Date posted
- 19w
Valentineās Day is a day to celebrate love, however if you are living with Relationship OCD (ROCD) this can be a very triggering day. Relationship OCD is essentially, the fear of being in the wrong relationship, not truly loving your partner, or not being loved by your partner. This makes you doubt the true nature of your relationship and makes you believe that your entire relationship is based on lies. It can make you feel like a bad person and not worthy of love. ROCD will make you believe that you need to leave the relationship just to find some peace. When we think about ROCD we often think that this only applies to romantic relationships, however ROCD can impact friendships and family relationships as well. ROCD will attack whatever relationship is most important to you. As an ERP therapist some of the most common obsessions that I have seen include āIs my partner āThe Oneāā? āMaybe I am meant to be with someone elseā. āWhat if my partner cheats on me or worse I cheat on him/herā? āI find X attractive. Should I break up with my partner and be with Xā? āDo I even love my partner? What if they donāt love me?ā This list could go on and on. The basis of all of these intrusive thoughts is fear and doubt. The compulsions associated with ROCD are vast. The most common include checking feelings to make sure you really love your partner, avoidance behaviors, reassurance seeking behaviors both from your partner and from others and ruminating on the relationship in the hopes of figuring out if this is the ārightā relationship for you. ROCD, as in most theses in OCD, wants 100% uncertainty that this relationship will work out with no conflict or compromise. The problem is this is unrealistic. All relationships will have some level of conflict and compromise in them. There is no āperfect relationshipā. Most of us have grown up with fairy tales where one true love will come and sweep up off our feet. Life and relationships can be messy and complicated, but they are worth it and are a key aspect of what makes us human. The fact is ROCD makes you doubt everything and will take the joy, excitement and contentment out of the relationship. The good news is that treatment is available, and it is possible to have a long, happy, fulfilling relationship despite ROCD fears. It does take time, perseverance and patience. Treatment using Exposure Response Prevention has been proven to lessen intrusive thoughts. You will learn to manage your expectations of the relationships while leaning into your fears and learning to accept the uncomfortable feelings. By doing this, you can bring joy and contentment back into you life and your relationships. I'd love to hear about how ROCD is showing up for you. Share your experiences in the comments below or ask your questions about ROCD and I will respond to them.
- Date posted
- 13w
I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I donāt want, and then tries to convince me that I do. Itās painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I donāt want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but Iām terrified that one day Iāll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. Iāve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that Iām "bisexual." Iāve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge meātelling me, āYou donāt even know what love feels like.ā It wonāt shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that Iām a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?
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