Tw Having urges is the worst, Its like my brain wants me to act on my thoughts right away to quench the thirst. It wont stop.

Intrusive thoughts are unwanted and cause stress which mine do but also when I’m mad I get this rage feeling and say I wanna stab someone like that feels like a. Want not intrusive why am I saying “ I wanna “ :(

I need help I have a strong urge to look at pornography I consider myself straight although I have jerked off to trans porn before it's just I feel a urge to do it I was in class randomly just had a urge to look at porn I had a response pre ejaculation leaked while I had my eyes on something else I feel so ashamed I need help idk why I had this urge I just did idk what to do someone help I have fucked up thoughts too while looking at it sometimes of minors younger idk what to do I always get the same thoughts of my younger cousin need help

It’s like my brain is doing everything in its power to convince myself and also justify an attraction to teenagers. I hate myself. I don’t want to be this person, but what if I don’t have a choice. How do I get these thoughts out of my head permanently. I feel like my life will never be the same if they don’t leave forever. I can’t tell what is a real desire and what OCD is trying to convince me is a real desire. I can’t do this every day for the rest of my life. I don’t want to hurt anyone, or I don’t think I do but how do I even tell anymore. This might not even be OCD at this point, I can’t separate my thoughts from OCD thoughts I think because I’ve had OCD for so long so it all just feels like me. Maybe it is me. TMI but I haven’t pleasured myself in like a week because my libido is so low now, I don’t want to do it with these thoughts.