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- 4y
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- 4y
You are an amazing father!!! Don’t be so hard on yourself!!! If you were able to do it once, you will most likely be able to do it for a second time around!!
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- 4y
Thanks for the kind words, I just don’t understand how I can be so stuck on one topic last time, being harm ocd, thinking I was going to hurt people in my family, fully convinced I was a murderer, and that it was the end of life for me, and then it turned into I was going to do something sexual towards my daughter, then I come good for a long while, now I’m so stuck on being a pedo, it feels so real, and scary, yet the thoughts of harming my family now is like why would I ever think that, it’s so silly, I’m just so confused all the time
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- 4y
@cward I feel you! I am the same stuck between harm, pocd, and sexual thoughts it’s really rough. I don’t know who I am anymore. I’m rooting for you!
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- 4y
@cward That’s definitely OCD. Same cycle - mine oscillates between harm and health concern. And when it switches, my brain is like wow why would you ever think that was a concern how silly you are and visa versa. I’m so sorry you’re suffering. But, that is totally OCD.
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- 4y
Hey I’m sorry you are going through this I know my ocd ebbs and flows and when I start to feel better it will often come back even stronger. Right now I’m having to start again with treatment because it’s been so rough lately but the ERP is helping. I know it’s a battle but you can do it
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Sorry you are going through it to, it’s hell, but I’m sure we will all get there, I started therapy, but then as I become better I started putting it off and putting it off, and now I’m back here again
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@cward Yea I’ve noticed when I start to feel better I almost need the therapy more because the fall back into the OCD is harder if I was feeling good
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
Hi NOCD community, I was hoping to get some advice from fellow sufferers. In December we welcomed the first baby into the family, my beautiful niece. Since then, my POCD has been awful, which I know is probably very normal. Last week, in the middle of a very high stress day in my family, I was changing my niece and as usually happens, I got intrusive thoughts about awful things people do to babies when changing them. The thoughts were so harrowing to have as I was also changing her at the exact same time, and I felt my hands just quickly want to finish patting her dry before putting her nappy on, and for some reason, my heart dropped with that hand movement, because I was afraid that I had acted out the awful thoughts in my head, in a moment of mania because my morals, values and heart do not align with abuse of any kind, especially to children. My niece is my everything, and I know I would never want harm to come to her in any way, shape or form. I love her endlessly. I am having therapy, but have only had a couple of sessions. But, I cannot shake the 'what if'. I am tortured over trying to remember what it was I did that made my heart drop, but I can't, and its getting fuzzier and fuzzier the more I try to remember. Could anyone offer any advice on this please? Thank you.
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- 22w
Let me start by prefacing that I developed ocd as postpartum ocd after having my first child. I had harm and pocd. I had it on and off for years and then it just eventually went away completely for many years until recently after a stressful life event. Now that it’s back it again targets my children but now my grandchildren also. It’s been horrible and makes me pull away from them. Last night my 6 year old granddaughter threw up in the car when my daughter was about to take her home so my daughter brought her back in the house and asked me to clean her up while she cleaned her car. I had some anxiety about it because of my ocd but I couldn’t say no to helping so I opened the bathroom door and my granddaughter was standing in her underwear waiting for me to clean and dress her. Everything was fine and normal but then for some reason, I have no idea why, I looked down at her chest area. I immediately got so upset and didn’t know why I looked there and now my ocd is saying it’s because i’m a monster. I tried to tell myself it’s just normal human behavior when someone is standing there naked that you look where you shouldn’t simply because it’s just there in front of you but I feel horrible. I don’t feel any inappropriate way about her or any child but my ocd is saying it was inappropriate. Has anyone else been through this?
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- 18w
I’ve given up with the confessing. I feel so drained and irredeemable that why even confess anymore? I don’t know if this is a good thing. On paper, it looks great. My bf thinks I’m better, but I feel like I’m dying. The attraction, arousal, urges, compulsions are all getting so much stronger. I feel like I’m embracing a monster. The POCD is driving me mad. I genuinely cannot see kids anymore because it’s immediate checking compulsions and intrusions. I need help. Has anyone gotten to this point and made it back to “normal”? I feel like a pedophile who is simply ashamed of being one.
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