Seriously not copeing with pocd at the moment, for the past couple of months I have went really well, living life again, not wanting to not be here every minute of every day, I felt like I was so much stronger and able too take on anything, now the thoughts have slowly come back stronger and stronger the past few days, things like going to hurt my baby daughter whether that be sexually or physically, I hate to hear about pedos on the news or anything because it makes me get a strong feeling of like guilt or something, when I’m feeling good and not having so much anxiety I can shrug the thoughts off mostly and keep going about me day, but now it’s fully convinced me that I’m attracted to kids and that I’m a monster and want to harm them, I constantly compare myself and my thoughts to things I hear on the news or anything about pedos, my head just goes around and around all day, then when I try to be strong and positive and say to myself it’s the ocd coming in again, I then start to search for all these reasons as to why it is or isn’t ocd, I was the most proud loving dad, now I can’t even bring myself to look at my little princess, I can’t bring myself to shower with her, I have panic attacks if I’m left alone with her, I just don’t know what to do anymore

Thanks for the kind words, I just don’t understand how I can be so stuck on one topic last time, being harm ocd, thinking I was going to hurt people in my family, fully convinced I was a murderer, and that it was the end of life for me, and then it turned into I was going to do something sexual towards my daughter, then I come good for a long while, now I’m so stuck on being a pedo, it feels so real, and scary, yet the thoughts of harming my family now is like why would I ever think that, it’s so silly, I’m just so confused all the time

@cward I feel you! I am the same stuck between harm, pocd, and sexual thoughts it’s really rough. I don’t know who I am anymore. I’m rooting for you!

@cward That’s definitely OCD. Same cycle - mine oscillates between harm and health concern. And when it switches, my brain is like wow why would you ever think that was a concern how silly you are and visa versa. I’m so sorry you’re suffering. But, that is totally OCD.

Sorry you are going through it to, it’s hell, but I’m sure we will all get there, I started therapy, but then as I become better I started putting it off and putting it off, and now I’m back here again

@cward Yea I’ve noticed when I start to feel better I almost need the therapy more because the fall back into the OCD is harder if I was feeling good