- Date posted
- 6y ago
- Date posted
- 6y ago
As difficult as it may be, I think you’re searching very hard for reassurance. Which is very bad for OCD. Trust me. One comment reassuring you is worth a minute of reassurance but then 10 minutes of worse and worse anxiety and doubt. Right now I think it’s best to accept the possibility that you may be gay or bi and if that’s the case there’s nothing you can do about it. I have a huge fear of herpes. I can go to the bathroom and check myself down there all night. I can take pictures and ask my boyfriend to confirm. I can google. I can look again. I can feel down there again. And again. And AGAIN!! But at the end of the day I have to tell myself “yes. You may have herpes. So what? Relax.” And I just continually tell myself that. I accept the possibility of my fear being true. Then I’m usually more at ease with it.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Sexuality in and of itself is so flexible too. It’s not black and white. You don’t have to be this and you don’t have to be that. Putting such rigid and black and white terms to your sexuality would drive anybody crazy.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Also.... https://advice.shinetext.com/articles/5-ways-to-handle-uncertainty/ this is helpful for handling uncertainty. I do believe you’re fully panicking right now. Try taking some deep breathes. Listen to some good music. Relaxing music. Close your eyes. Hum or sing to yourself. Distract yourself. Your allowing your thoughts to carry you away and crumble.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I just went to say that you gotta take these steps from now ok. 1) go to a therapist - doesn’t specifically have to be OCD but find a good therapist that you can SAY anything you want: all your fears and worries and thinking patterns - you will understand more and more about yourself, life , sexuality and what makes you happy which does not need to be associated with girls or sexuality at all. 2) do not force yourself to be GAY. Everyone on here is like yea it’s cool maybe you’re gay and stuff but the more you just do what feels right for you and natural the more happy you will be from all of this. It’s like even if a guy is not gay but he fears that he is...what now he has to go test and fuck a dude...hell no. The need to go do it find out also comes from the threat that it is upon you. The more you will slowly adjust to modern times and learn there’s nothing wrong with it and there’s nothing to fear and it doesn’t change who you are (sexual identity is too fucking overlooked by society) that things will be more chill. 3) stop trying to find an answer. The uncertainty is scary and stuff but I promise with time after you adjust to much more acceptance ABOUT EVERYTHING not just your sexuality but allowing and accepting PEACFULLY things that we uncomfortable with in the past - you won’t be looking for an answer not more and you’ll fall back to your natural attractions ....and hey if you naturally find yourself attracted to more than just one ...at least you took the necessary steps in preparing yourself to take that on chill peaceful and without a god daym worry in the world :)
- Date posted
- 6y ago
And for the gronial response I used to get a boner more than 25 times a day for men all men everything related to gay I would get a full fledge boner...and all I knew I was 100% straight and 0% gay before any of this happened ...and now I laugh at all those moments and don’t care if they were real or not knowing that they were super unnatural but the “I don’t care” is a big step towards laughing and having a good time through what feels like he’ll.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Well that's a good thing then! It doesnt mean anything your body is meant to have a physical response to "sex". If it's a compulsion to check often I would try to limit the amount of time you spend checking to see if it arouses you.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
If it makes you feel any better, I am not personally into a lot of things that are in porn (3 somes, same sex etc) however when I watch it in porn I am turned on. Doesn’t mean I want it for myself tho. I know I’m not gay or bi and I know that I don’t ever want to have a three way. Doesn’t mean my body doesn’t react to seeing it though. Pretty shitty when you think about it but. I can’t help it I guess ??♀️
- Date posted
- 6y ago
that’s fine. but if you were gay what is so bad about that? You need to challenge this fear/obsession to defeat it
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Exactly, nothing would really happen. So why fear it? Sexuality is very intuitive. If you feel you are straight then you are straight! There’s no need to check if you are aroused by same sex porn, you know who you are and a slight arousal at porn (which is made specifically to arouse) doesn’t change that. Besides, if you were gay that is something you would come to realize naturally and as you know, nothing would happen. Just go with the flow and try to trust yourself
- Date posted
- 6y ago
You can watch gay porn and not be gay, not that being gay matters.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I can't imagine how it would be with pedophilia OCD and forcing oneself to embrace uncertainty
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I receive groinal responses but I never actually like it
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I get very worried
- Date posted
- 6y ago
And even cried after
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I’ve never been attracted to men and I don’t want to be
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Oh I'm sorry. I personally dont see an issue with it. If you are attracted to women you wouldn't be gay.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
The checking definitely sounds like a symptom. I cant reassure you and tell you what you are or arent, however this does sound like HOCD, especially from the constant checking of your arousal. I would say look into cbt, erp, and act, and possibly look up an ocd specialist in your area if you can and can afford it!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
expose yourself and learn to accept the thought. You know you’re not gay, but if you were—so what? What happens? Learn to be comfortable with yourself regardless of your sexuality
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Thanks for trying to help I appreciate it
- Date posted
- 6y ago
But it’s destroying my ego and preventing me from doing basic things I haven’t slept in 24 hours and I keep crying
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Hey @zidzad I can help bro. I’m going and have gone through the same shit for a while. It affects us so deeply because yes our ego and yes our desire for getting girls and having the good life...oh buddy is it a journey to recovery and to the other side of your suffering. If you want we can talk!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Hell**
- Date posted
- 6y ago
This thread is helpful, but reassuring for me.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Check it? You aren't sure? Is it something you are afraid of?
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I check for arousal
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Has it ever aroused you? Does it worry you if it does?
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Oh ok. I dont check for it because I know I'm bi but it doesnt worry me that I am.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
What does that mean if I get a semi I’m very scared please
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I dont feel it's something to be ashamed of. ❤
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I even think once I got an erection
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I can deal with it anymore
- Date posted
- 6y ago
What makes you afraid of it? Does your family disapprove of same sex relationships?
- Date posted
- 6y ago
No I DONT WANT TO BE GAY
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I see what you are saying. You are just afraid you might be.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Yes
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I know I’m not gsy
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Or bi
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I just have shame over my erections
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Are you worried you have HOCD? Is this something youve done often?
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I think I have hocd I relate to most of the symptoms
- Date posted
- 6y ago
See I’m the only guy that has seen same sex porn. I don’t have hocd. I’m in denial I’m So sad ??
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Please I don’t want to be gay all I wanna do is love women
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Nothing I just feel very uncomfortable and depressed if I was gay but I don’t hate gay people
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I can’t live with the uncertainty. I can’t do it.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Just try doing things to distract and calm yourself. Watch a YouTube meditation video
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I think people get aroused from sex in general no matter what gender or method. I think it is natural but does not mean you want to do it. Like your physical response is not so much emotional.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
If you see in a movie a person of the same sex masturbate you put yourself in his position and it causes you arousal ? Is this normal?(sorry for my english)
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Is this normal?
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w ago
So I was on a hat chat gpt and it said that people who are non-offenders experience distress and anxiety and disgust and depression and they feel ashamed of being a non-offender like WHAT like that's honestly terrifying and I'm so scared because that's how I've been feeling like when I'm out I get anxiety too especially when I see a younger person I always been attracted to MEN my whole life can people turn into monsters and I don't even care if they have problems if there attracted to kids then there sick in the head like don't care like this has been sharing me soo much and the worst part about it is that they said some are in denial or suppress their attractions I'm so done...... I can not do this this is too much I would rather be gone from this earth than find out that I might be one like you have to be kidding me if you're attracted to young people and desire that you're sick and dead to me you're a monster I don't care like its disgusting. for this eole some people are suffering from POCD like me are scared to think about that and I'm terrified.
- Date posted
- 15w ago
I had same Sex fantasies, sought that out in 🌽 before I knew what sexuality was, it’s related to a specific fetish and I used to talk to strangers online including men and I’m scared now what all of this means, I have HOCD, POCD, all sorts of thoughts but I don’t know if it’s my thoughts or my past which is reality. Why did I have those thoughts as a young boy? Why why why? Who am I? Do I even have OCD? What monster am I? I just want to end it all sometimes in all honesty. Not really but sure feels like it. I’m dying inside .
- Date posted
- 9w ago
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond