Exactly the same! Maybe it can be derealization, it's common in anxiety disorder like OCD. In my case it get better when I am active in my life, studying everyday, reading books, go for a walk or in nature and doing this kind of things.
But I feel like I lost my identity, I dont feel like doing anything and due to depression Im very emotionally numb aswell
@Imaan7 Ok I understand, I think I feel something very similar in reality, I am not referring to the depressive "numbness", but to a sense of estrangement from the world and from others, as if I were no longer myself, I saw things differently and were part of another reality. I don't know if that's what you feel, I thought about that while reading you, but I've noticed, about me (every person is different) that if I keep busy (in a healthy, non-compulsive way) and don't have the time to analyze these feelings, things get better because I stop noticing that
Instead, when I am not active, I am relaxing so much, for days, I feel more derealizated
I feel like I can kind of relate, but I'm not sure if it's exactly the same. Like, it's more like my mood is all over the place, I've recently been starting off everyday feeling very panicked and I can't always quite determine why, eventually it kind of dies down but the rest of my day is normally thrown off because of it I think. It normally gets better though, but then I'll feel kind of sad again later, and then even later I'll just totally forget about how sad I was, but then when I try to go to bed I'll start feeling some stress again, but it's never as bad as it was in the morning. I realize all of that probably sounds confusing, but I'm trying to sum it all up the best I can think to. There are a lot of days where I just don't feel like doing anything either, even when I finally have the free time to do whatever I want. I don't really know much about derealization, but I think I'm going to look it up now though because I'm curious. Also, just thought I should mention, I don't have the same OCD that you have Imaan7, so I don't know if what I'm struggling with is completely related to what you're struggling with or not, so I don't want to give bad advice. Also, thanks for your reply OatsBro98! I think that is helpful advice that you gave. :)
I definitely understand where youre coming from, for me Im in a state of confusion all the time. Mornings and nights is when it gets really bad. I feel like I lost a big part of myself that made me ME and now It feels like someones put a blindfold on my mind and Im going through life without being able to feel or see anything. Hope that made some sense haha Its a messy situation Im In. I wish you all the best my friend!
I can definitely understand the state of confusion you're talking about. Nothing with OCD seems to make sense, it feels like I'm not the same person that I was, it feels like a part of me was taken away when I got OCD too. I've been dealing with it since 2012 though, so I've improved in certain ways over time, but more recently I've started having setbacks again, and it just feels so complicated all the time. I don't know what to make of it. But just being able to talk about it on here is very helpful. I wish you all the best too my friend. Glad I can talk to you.