- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
I feel like I can kind of relate, but I'm not sure if it's exactly the same. Like, it's more like my mood is all over the place, I've recently been starting off everyday feeling very panicked and I can't always quite determine why, eventually it kind of dies down but the rest of my day is normally thrown off because of it I think. It normally gets better though, but then I'll feel kind of sad again later, and then even later I'll just totally forget about how sad I was, but then when I try to go to bed I'll start feeling some stress again, but it's never as bad as it was in the morning. I realize all of that probably sounds confusing, but I'm trying to sum it all up the best I can think to. There are a lot of days where I just don't feel like doing anything either, even when I finally have the free time to do whatever I want. I don't really know much about derealization, but I think I'm going to look it up now though because I'm curious. Also, just thought I should mention, I don't have the same OCD that you have Imaan7, so I don't know if what I'm struggling with is completely related to what you're struggling with or not, so I don't want to give bad advice. Also, thanks for your reply OatsBro98! I think that is helpful advice that you gave. :)
- Date posted
- 3y
I definitely understand where youre coming from, for me Im in a state of confusion all the time. Mornings and nights is when it gets really bad. I feel like I lost a big part of myself that made me ME and now It feels like someones put a blindfold on my mind and Im going through life without being able to feel or see anything. Hope that made some sense haha Its a messy situation Im In. I wish you all the best my friend!
- Date posted
- 3y
I can definitely understand the state of confusion you're talking about. Nothing with OCD seems to make sense, it feels like I'm not the same person that I was, it feels like a part of me was taken away when I got OCD too. I've been dealing with it since 2012 though, so I've improved in certain ways over time, but more recently I've started having setbacks again, and it just feels so complicated all the time. I don't know what to make of it. But just being able to talk about it on here is very helpful. I wish you all the best too my friend. Glad I can talk to you.
- Date posted
- 3y
Exactly the same! Maybe it can be derealization, it's common in anxiety disorder like OCD. In my case it get better when I am active in my life, studying everyday, reading books, go for a walk or in nature and doing this kind of things.
- Date posted
- 3y
But I feel like I lost my identity, I dont feel like doing anything and due to depression Im very emotionally numb aswell
- Date posted
- 3y
@Imaan7 Ok I understand, I think I feel something very similar in reality, I am not referring to the depressive "numbness", but to a sense of estrangement from the world and from others, as if I were no longer myself, I saw things differently and were part of another reality. I don't know if that's what you feel, I thought about that while reading you, but I've noticed, about me (every person is different) that if I keep busy (in a healthy, non-compulsive way) and don't have the time to analyze these feelings, things get better because I stop noticing that
- Date posted
- 3y
Instead, when I am not active, I am relaxing so much, for days, I feel more derealizated
Related posts
- Date posted
- 16w
I think when people are saying OCD is egodystonic is really triggering me and I was just wondering if this has happened to anyone else? I’m going through a really bad relapse and right now I’m trying to figure out if my thoughts are truly egodystonic, like I how do I know I won’t act on them, how can I trust my emotions and everything. I feel really confused and I feel like I don’t know who I am anymore or how I carry on with life because it’s so long and I’m so unsure of everything that’s going on in my head. Like how do I know that this is OCD and true desires/urges. I’m so confused.
- Date posted
- 15w
Hi everyone, I haven’t posted in a while—about 6 months—but I’m really struggling and need some help or advice. I thought I had healed from all of this, or at least I was doing so much better. I have never felt this before but it feels like I’m slipping back into something I can’t control. Right now, it feels like I’m stuck in a bad reality. It’s like I’m trapped with my dad in one reality, and I’m trying to get back to the other where I’m with my family, but I can’t. It’s so hard to explain, but everything around me feels unreal, and my mind keeps telling me I’m stuck. It feels so real, and I don’t know how to get out of it. It’s like I’ve been transported to another world, and I can’t break free. nd now I’m scared I’ll never come back to the “good” reality I had before. and I genuinely believe this. I’ve been struggling with these thoughts about spiritual realms, the devil, and spiritual warfare. My dad has always talked about these things, and he’s gone through psychosis before. He’s also had a history of doing a lot of drugs, and now I’m terrified that I might end up like him. I fear that I’m somehow becoming like him, trapped in that same mental space he’s been in. He talks about spiritual stuff that scares me, and I can’t shake the thought that I might be losing myself the same way he did. I know this might sound weird, but I feel like I’m getting closer to that line, and I don’t know how to stop it. I keep feeling like I’ll never come back to the way things were, like I’ll always be stuck in this distorted reality. I’m afraid of losing myself, especially in my faith. I believe in God, but my thoughts and fears about all of this are making it hard to feel connected to Him. I feel so distant from God right now, and it’s hard to see how this can change. Has anyone else experienced something like this—feeling like you’re trapped between realities, afraid of becoming someone you don’t want to be, or struggling with fears like this? How did you cope? I just need some hope that I can get through this and come back to a better place. I’m scared, and I feel like I can’t escape this. Any advice would really mean a lot right now.
- Date posted
- 11w
First off - I’m sorry, I post here a lot. My thoughts are going to be scattered because I have the adhd/ocd/executive dysfunction wombo combo. Im so embarrassed I am THIS neurodivergent. I swear my brain couldn’t pick one struggle and settle with it. I’m not making these diagnoses quirky personality traits by any means, in fact, in this post im venting about how exhausting and embarassed I am living with a brain like this on the daily. I need to hear someone’s advice please. I love hearing everyone’s advice on posts because it’s so useful, and brings me back down to reality. Everyone on here gives advice so tastefully in a way where it doesn’t feed into the self reassurance compulsion, but it’s also been thorough and constructive enough where it’s reminded me to ground myself in a healthy way. I love seeing others helping others, it soothes me. This community has been so kind, and I’m so happy I found it. I wish I could ask more, but I have so many questions I think it’d drive everyone here crazy lol. I am doing erp therapy now, and it’s been teaching me so many amazing techniques. I’ve been making progress. However, I sometimes have my moments of vunerablity. I’ve been experiencing this especially now more than ever because I am going through a breakup. He did it through text after nearly 9 months together. I’d do anything for him and love him through anything, and he broke my heart when I least expected it. I’d make his bed for him multiple times, but I haven’t done that for myself in years. I’d sit with him for hours to watch and do anything he likes, but he’d never do the same and I’d never do the same for me. I’m also at fault because I was too scared to speak up so I let a lot of disrespect slide. Why did my ocd do that? Why does ocd make me people please even when I don’t want to? Why does OCD make me care so much about things that will never effect me (like wanting validation from a random person on the street and hoping they’ll think I’m pretty enough to look at), but then when it comes to my future or positive wellbeing (like focusing on college/doing well in classes/personal hygiene/health), forces me to not care/neglect myself and those needs? I don’t understand it. Ocd makes me think everything’s a setup or a trap. I can never believe that I am fine right where I want to be. Why am I so hard on myself? Why do I even think this much? I care and feel so deeply but it becomes unhealthy so fast because ocd makes me fixate and I stay there for a while. For some reason I let this breakup define my self worth. I let it topple into the ocd fear that I will never make it in life - that I won’t be successful, I’ll never get the career I want, the love I want, or the life I want. My OCD’s version of “logic” isn’t even logical. Yes, I understand how the breakup means feelings of low self worth which will then topple into feeling bad about other things. But why has my brain been wired to think this way? Why does it seem so easy for everyone else to function normally with life but not me? Honestly this is the first time in my life where I’m dedicated to focusing on myself and learning more about myself instead of others in my life and it’s a very odd and bizarre feeling. I’m excited of course, but I’m also scared. My ocd makes me ruminate like “what if I will never make the most of this life I’ve been given”, “what if I truly have no worth and the most I will ever be in other people’s lives is a background character”, “why do I care if I’m a background character or not? I should feel guilty and ignorant for assuming everyone will automatically like me”, “are people lying to me when they call me pretty, smart or kind?”, “I need to look and sound perfect in both pictures, videos and in real life. I will never be satisfied for accepting who I am now”, and a bunch of other annoying questions. But sometimes it’s like I just can’t take the reality for what it is but at the same time, but I also acknowledge that I know this is ocd talking. This is so, so difficult. Do I make any sense with what I’m saying? Can anyone help?
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