My mom just told me that she had a dream that I came out as gay to her and told her I wanted to break up with my fiancé. I feel like I’m spiraling. Does this mean I really am? Does she think I am? If she thinks I am, isn’t that good proof? I know I’m asking for reassurance but I’m freaking.

I’m just trying not to question like what made her dream that?? because i put 0 stock into my dreams, they never bother me, but now that someone else has had a dream about my fear, i’m wondering why? I don’t know i’ve been doing really well but when she told me that i could just feel myself spiraling.

@bdk But right now you are questioning what made her dream that! Stop it, it doesn’t matter! Only you know you!

i know; uncertainty is so hard to agree with 😭 it’s like if i agree with the uncertainty i’m accepting the thought?

for sure, i got really upset and for a split second i was like “i could use this as an exposure right now” but it was just too much

thank you, i hadn’t even considered those reasons. i’m most triggered when my brain uses things as evidence, and this felt exactly like that.

yes, and i’ve expressed thoughts before to her about being scared that i could be gay. i’ve used her for reassurance multiple times. now i’m thinking she, too, thinks i’m gay, but she can see it from an outsider’s perspective so it seems factual to me.

@bdk Does she understand ocd? And also like they said a dream is definitely just a dream it has 0 value. One of the brains functions is to give suggestions and think about other possibilities of many things such as sexuality. Your mom was probably thinking about what if your were gay etc. Especially if you recently spoke to her about you ocd and it maybe just seeped into her dream. But even she does think that her opinion isnt reality its just that an opinion. Also like they said only you know you i know it gets difficult to see and think clearly at time. But all these worries, fears, whats if's triggers intrusive thoughts just in ripples in the pond where we try to see ourselves. With the ripples you cant see yourself clearly. Have to let the ripples set. In your situation the ripples are the worries, anxiety and fears. Let them sit i hope i was able to give you some valor to not give in to these things.

@HiOcd thank you so much, that’s very helpful. i don’t pay attention to my own dreams, but hearing that from her was terrifying. i’m trying my best to not let it turn into a full blown setback.

@bdk Dont forget that this is an opportunity to change from your regular ocd behaivioral habits and patterns into breaking free from the chains of ocd. I believe in you 🙏. Something i tell myself when i dont want to get into an intrusive thought is you cant let go by thinking about letting go the only way is to focus on the present moment continue doing what your doing and focusing on your five senses while doing them it could be washing dishes breathing,listening to something but focus on it if you're driving focus on the texturenof the steeing wheel.

@HiOcd yes! i find it so hard to stay in the present moment. like i realized a moment ago that i was just starting at my phone thinking, i wasn’t even using it for anything. i have to remain present.

@bdk Same or i find myself trying to answer a question another way like its my icd being sneaky