- Username
- bdk
- Date posted
- 3y ago
No one other than you knows your sexuality. It’s weird that your mom told you about her dream, if she does things you’re gay and she told you about her dream then that’s even weirder! I wouldn’t fixate on it. Dreams have 0 meaning.
I’m just trying not to question like what made her dream that?? because i put 0 stock into my dreams, they never bother me, but now that someone else has had a dream about my fear, i’m wondering why? I don’t know i’ve been doing really well but when she told me that i could just feel myself spiraling.
@bdk But right now you are questioning what made her dream that! Stop it, it doesn’t matter! Only you know you!
Dreams usually having nothing to do with the actual people
Dreams are random signals your brain makes while asleep. Now there’s always the possibility that your mom’s dream really means something, but either way analyzing will not get you closer to answers or certainty. Always yield to the uncertainty, it is the only certain thing in life!
i know; uncertainty is so hard to agree with 😭 it’s like if i agree with the uncertainty i’m accepting the thought?
I think I’ve seen your post before where your mom triggered you. Im not saying your mom is doing it intentionally, trust me my sister triggers me and I know she doesn’t want to cause me any stress. Anyway, my therapist suggested When A Family Member Has OCD by Jon Hershfield for my family. OCD is tricky. If I didn’t have it myself, I wouldn’t know helpful vs unhelpful. On the bright side, she can create good exposure for you, lol.
for sure, i got really upset and for a split second i was like “i could use this as an exposure right now” but it was just too much
I know the terrifying feeling of things like this “confirming” your fears, but it’s likely just a coincidence. She could have that dream for any number of reasons. Maybe she’s afraid of having a gay kid because of internal homophobia, maybe it’s a completely random dream — but none of these necessarily mean you “must be gay” in reality. Someone could also mistake someone else for being gay when that person isn’t actually. Hang in there, you got this.
thank you, i hadn’t even considered those reasons. i’m most triggered when my brain uses things as evidence, and this felt exactly like that.
Does she know about your ocd theme?
yes, and i’ve expressed thoughts before to her about being scared that i could be gay. i’ve used her for reassurance multiple times. now i’m thinking she, too, thinks i’m gay, but she can see it from an outsider’s perspective so it seems factual to me.
@bdk Does she understand ocd? And also like they said a dream is definitely just a dream it has 0 value. One of the brains functions is to give suggestions and think about other possibilities of many things such as sexuality. Your mom was probably thinking about what if your were gay etc. Especially if you recently spoke to her about you ocd and it maybe just seeped into her dream. But even she does think that her opinion isnt reality its just that an opinion. Also like they said only you know you i know it gets difficult to see and think clearly at time. But all these worries, fears, whats if's triggers intrusive thoughts just in ripples in the pond where we try to see ourselves. With the ripples you cant see yourself clearly. Have to let the ripples set. In your situation the ripples are the worries, anxiety and fears. Let them sit i hope i was able to give you some valor to not give in to these things.
@HiOcd thank you so much, that’s very helpful. i don’t pay attention to my own dreams, but hearing that from her was terrifying. i’m trying my best to not let it turn into a full blown setback.
@bdk Dont forget that this is an opportunity to change from your regular ocd behaivioral habits and patterns into breaking free from the chains of ocd. I believe in you 🙏. Something i tell myself when i dont want to get into an intrusive thought is you cant let go by thinking about letting go the only way is to focus on the present moment continue doing what your doing and focusing on your five senses while doing them it could be washing dishes breathing,listening to something but focus on it if you're driving focus on the texturenof the steeing wheel.
@HiOcd yes! i find it so hard to stay in the present moment. like i realized a moment ago that i was just starting at my phone thinking, i wasn’t even using it for anything. i have to remain present.
@bdk Same or i find myself trying to answer a question another way like its my icd being sneaky
I’ve lost my interest in men. I’ve been telling myself what if I’m gay for over a year now and I feel like I’m gay now. I feel like my biggest worry is coming out now. In my religion and culture it’s wrong and I don’t want it. It all started as a movie scene last year. I’ve accepted it I’ve given up. I feel like I’ve been in denial the past a year. I’m on tinder looking at girls now cause I don’t know anymore. Now I can’t seem to find someone I’m interested in I can’t see myself kissing a girl or sleeping with one. I just truly believe I’m gay and I have to call my mom and come out. I want to cry. I’m nervous idk what’s real. Am I gay? Or is this ocd? Am I bi? Should I come out? Was my life a lie? Am I in denial cause it’s unacceptable? Will my parents love me? If I’m worried about them then it’s cause I’m in denial right? Ugh I want to die.
Okay so having a lil anxiety attack right now because the thought of being gay aint scaring me anymore and now i feel like i truuuly am gay and like i have to come out to my parents and like im pressured by myself and not accepting myself and it feels just too real and idkkk its crazy how i can go from okay to this stage again. I feel like i try not to fall in love with woman and im holding myself back but if i truly was gay wouldnt it just liked the same sex earlier in my life. Like it just happens right? So ive never had that but i feel like im blocking myself from likjng woman but jve never liked them in my whole life so idk what im tryna convince myself. I cant lie, This generation is rlly hard on me when it comes to my hocd. Evergwhere around me people are comjng out and it makes it look like being gay is a huge posibility and that i could easily be gay when u look at how many people are gay. That it wouldnt be a weird case like so many girls are lesbian why wouldnt i be. What would make me straight and them gay? The thing is all these questjoms once were never in my head and all the answers were so clear i didnt even had to ask the questions to myself. But why do i now? Makes me feel like im gay because straight ppl would never ask themselves these questions...
I feel like my sexual orientation has changed, it truly feels like I’ll never be straight again and I’m heartbroken. I go out in public and I check if I’m attracted to the pretty girls, I start to make new female friends and I worry I like them, I look at them in ways I never did before just to “make sure”. I worry that I’ll enjoy sex and feelings with girls more and that it’ll be greater than what I have with my partner. I worry that my struggle with intimacy with my boyfriend is because I don’t like men as opposed to my insecurities and inexperience and shyness. It feels like I can’t find appeal in men anymore and even though I find no appeal in women either, my mind tells me my lack of attraction means I Need to be attracted to women. I don’t want to. I’ve had two lesbian dreams this week and it felt like I wanted it. I try to imagine myself in same sex scenarios and I get confused , it feels like I want it when at the beginning of this it just didn’t click. It feels like all my close girl friends from my past are secret crushes. It feels like my attraction to men was never real. I’m so scared and so afraid and so lost, I feel like a prisoner. It feels like my sexuality has changed, I Must be attracted to women. Although I know I love my boyfriend deeply, I now worry a women will come and take his place. I hate this. It makes me feel like my bond with my boyfriend isn’t as special , when my bond with him is what I treasure most. Almost All the best days of my life were with him and now I feel like I’ll have to give it up to be with a woman. I feel like I’m living a lie, I feel like I’m going to have to come out and be with women, my grandma will treat me differently. It feels too real, way way too real.
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