- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Yep. When I had my 90 minute assessment, I was petrified. I was completely convinced the counselor was going to tell me I didn't meet the criteria for OCD. So I was caught off guard when she said I DO meet the criteria. I had never told anyone about the thoughts I struggled with. I have both harm and suicide OCD, plus a few others. But I was especially afraid to admit the intrusive thoughts related to my harm and suicide OCD. I was afraid the counselor was going to call the police on me or that I would end up involuntarily committed somewhere. But her expression didn't even change. Honestly, I still worry that some of the thoughts I have make me dangerous, a psychopath, or a monster. ERP has definitely helped a lot. I have several OCD themes that are rooted in real events. I feel such conflict. On the one hand, I know my thoughts and fears are completely irrational. But I just can't seem to get rid of them. I am still in treatment and am making real progress. But its still hard.
- Date posted
- 3y
Yes 😬 sometimes I still think that, like my situation is special
- Date posted
- 3y
That makes me feel a little more inclined to go through ERP. It’s so hard the knowing that the thoughts are real things that have happened and differentiating between the idea that it could be OCD or that it’s a genuine concern. I’m not looking for anyone to solve it or tell me that it’s all going to be ok and my worst fear isn’t going to come true. I just want to be able to live moderately happy in the unknown because it beats the everyday dread of “could be today all your fears come true”. Thankyou for putting my mind at ease about ERP, I guess it’s just the idea that you’re going to be facing the ugliest thoughts/things you’ve done that you just can’t seem to get past. And I know it’s all relative with OCD, it kind of sits on what you consider your worst fears, but because it’s MY worst fear I automatically assume I will be shelved from society and cast into the dark ages only to be taught in history lessons for the evils I’ve put upon the world. Even though I’ve confessed to many and they tell me to stop being so ridiculous.
- Date posted
- 3y
I'm not going to lie to you....ERP is crazy hard and uncomfortable, but it truly does help. You get out of it what you put into it. With ERP, there is really no halfway. Either you are willing to put in the hard work or you're not. So with ERP, you will notice a pattern. Uour anxiety will go completely crazy. The key to ERP is resisting the urge to do a compulsion during or just after the exposure. If you do, its a failed exposure. Then your anxiety will peak then decline. Your counselor will be there to support you. I have found I typically need to do exposures 3 or 4 times before my anxiety gets down low enough. That is okay. Also, expect setbacks. They don't undo your progress. Forgive yourself and keep going. Good luck. You can do this!
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 24w
I used to get caught in a loop with existential thoughts very frequently. Every question made my stomach drop: (TW: existential questions) … … ... "Why does anything exist at all? What will death be like? Is anything even real? Is there any meaning to this? Is the universe infinitely big, and if not, what's beyond it? Are there multiverses? Has the universe been around forever? Will the universe end for good, or will it keep going forever? What is forever like? What even IS reality?" It would get so overwhelming that I remember lying on the floor in a fetal position for hours because I felt like there was no escape. I spent most of my days reading articles and watching videos about theoretical astrophysics and philosophy in a desperate attempt to "figure it all out." Of course that only made me more anxious, raised more questions, and kept me trapped in the cycle. Things started to improve once I learned to turn TOWARD reality, rather than away from it, and ERP really helped me do that. I learned that these questions weren't the problem. I learned that I can actually handle the anxiety that arises when exposed to these ideas and concepts. I don't have to figure anything out to make the anxiety go away; it arises and passes away on its own. Ironically, bringing myself into the present moment and becoming more aware of reality helped me escape the cycle of existential dread. Because of that, this topic no longer takes over my life. If I'm triggered by something I see, hear, or think, I may still feel a little twang of anxiety, but then it just goes away. "Maybe, maybe not" has been the single most useful phrase of my life. Do you ever get trapped in a cycle of existential questions? Are you worried that the ERP approach would be too scary to handle? If so, I'm happy to give my advice.
- User type
- Therapist
- Date posted
- 23w
Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) isn't always easy, but as one of the most effective treatments for OCD, it's worth it. If you've started ERP, what has been the biggest surprise you've experienced in learning to resist compulsions? If you haven't started ERP yet, what is holding you back from starting?
- Date posted
- 16w
I had just posted a summary of ERP for a group member, and I thought it might be useful for everybody. Here it is below (with a little extra added)…. ERP therapy is researched-based. Most other therapies don’t work. There have been people who have been literally stuck in their houses (from their OCD) who gained their lives back through ERP therapy. NOCD does ERP therapy exclusively. You can find it in other places too, but you have to ask around. There are two tenants of ERP therapy: The first one has to do with the repetitive thoughts inside our heads. These thoughts are actually defined as “obsessions”. You are not supposed to do anything with the obsessions. You are supposed to let them run through your head freely, without trying to fix them or stop them. Imagine a tree planted by a river. The leaves fall off and float down the river. You can see the leaves falling, but you don’t try to stop them or pick them up. You don’t try to fix them. You just let them float away. This is really important to do with your obsessive thoughts. The more you try to fight them off, the worse they get. I used to have blasphemous sentences running in my head 24/7. I felt like I had to put a “not” next to each sentence in order to “fix” it. But this just took hours of my time every day, and it was very scary, because I was worried that if I messed up, that I would go to hell. It was very freeing to learn later that I could just let those sentences run freely through my head without trying to fix them. The second part of ERP therapy is all about “denying your compulsions.” Every time OCD tells you that if you don’t do things a certain way that something really bad will happen, that is a compulsion. Once you recognize what your compulsions are, ERP therapy will have you practice stopping doing all of those things. For some people, that will mean stopping washing their hands or touching lights switches or, in my case, putting “fixing” words in their head. Compulsions are safety behaviors. During ERP therapy, you will practice stopping engaging with safety behaviors. All this is very hard to do and scary, so during therapy you will be given tools to help you deal with the fear. Often ERP therapy will take people from being non-functional to functional. I highly recommend it. ————————————————- PITFALL #1: After you have been doing ERP for a while and become somewhat successful, the OCD will try subtle little tricks to bring you down again. The first one is to tell you that your thoughts are REAL and not OCD, and therefore you can’t apply ERP therapy. Don’t fall for this trick! All thoughts are just thoughts. They are all meaningless. Don’t try to figure out what is real and what is OCD. Just treat all thoughts with ERP therapy. PITFALL #2: The second pitfall is that OCD will tell you that you can’t move forward unless you have absolute certainty that you will be safe. Hate to tell you this, folks, but there is no certainty in life. You will never know for SURE that you or your loved ones will be “safe” from the OCD rules. Therefore, you have to move forward in the uncertainty. It’s hard, but it gets easier with time and practice. We got this, guys !!!!!!
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