sandercohen
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Lms526Lms526
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Yep. When I had my 90 minute assessment, I was petrified. I was completely convinced the counselor was going to tell me I didn't meet the criteria for OCD. So I was caught off guard when she said I DO meet the criteria. I had never told anyone about the thoughts I struggled with. I have both harm and suicide OCD, plus a few others. But I was especially afraid to admit the intrusive thoughts related to my harm and suicide OCD. I was afraid the counselor was going to call the police on me or that I would end up involuntarily committed somewhere. But her expression didn't even change. Honestly, I still worry that some of the thoughts I have make me dangerous, a psychopath, or a monster. ERP has definitely helped a lot. I have several OCD themes that are rooted in real events. I feel such conflict. On the one hand, I know my thoughts and fears are completely irrational. But I just can't seem to get rid of them. I am still in treatment and am making real progress. But its still hard.
Maybe,MaybeNotMaybe,MaybeNot
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Yes 😬 sometimes I still think that, like my situation is special
sandercohensandercohen
- Date posted
- 3y ago
That makes me feel a little more inclined to go through ERP. It’s so hard the knowing that the thoughts are real things that have happened and differentiating between the idea that it could be OCD or that it’s a genuine concern. I’m not looking for anyone to solve it or tell me that it’s all going to be ok and my worst fear isn’t going to come true. I just want to be able to live moderately happy in the unknown because it beats the everyday dread of “could be today all your fears come true”. Thankyou for putting my mind at ease about ERP, I guess it’s just the idea that you’re going to be facing the ugliest thoughts/things you’ve done that you just can’t seem to get past. And I know it’s all relative with OCD, it kind of sits on what you consider your worst fears, but because it’s MY worst fear I automatically assume I will be shelved from society and cast into the dark ages only to be taught in history lessons for the evils I’ve put upon the world. Even though I’ve confessed to many and they tell me to stop being so ridiculous.
Lms526Lms526
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I'm not going to lie to you....ERP is crazy hard and uncomfortable, but it truly does help. You get out of it what you put into it. With ERP, there is really no halfway. Either you are willing to put in the hard work or you're not. So with ERP, you will notice a pattern. Uour anxiety will go completely crazy. The key to ERP is resisting the urge to do a compulsion during or just after the exposure. If you do, its a failed exposure. Then your anxiety will peak then decline. Your counselor will be there to support you. I have found I typically need to do exposures 3 or 4 times before my anxiety gets down low enough. That is okay. Also, expect setbacks. They don't undo your progress. Forgive yourself and keep going. Good luck. You can do this!
Related posts
Josh M
- Date posted
- 22w ago
Winners
Those of you who have overcome at least a bit, if not all, of your OCD. When you went through the CBT and ERP, did it feel like the end of the world? And how did you face the fact that your fears and uncertainties might actually come to life?
Andrea Wells
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 14w ago
My OCD Journey
Looking back, I realize I’ve had OCD since I was 7. though I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 30. As a kid, I was consumed by fears I couldn’t explain: "What if God isn’t real? What happens when we die? How do I know I’m real?" These existential thoughts terrified me, and while everyone has them from time to time, I felt like they were consuming my life. By 12, I was having daily panic attacks about death and war, feeling untethered from reality as depersonalization and derealization set in. At 15, I turned to drinking, spending the next 15 years drunk, trying to escape my mind. I hated myself, struggled with my body, and my intrusive thoughts. Sobriety forced me to face it all head-on. In May 2022, I finally learned I had OCD. I remember the exact date: May 10th. Reading about it, I thought, "Oh my God, this is it. This explains everything." My main themes were existential OCD and self-harm intrusive thoughts. The self-harm fears were the hardest: "What if I kill myself? What if I lose control?" These thoughts terrified me because I didn’t want to die. ERP changed everything. At first, I thought, "You want me to confront my worst fears? Are you kidding me?" But ERP is gradual and done at your pace. My therapist taught me to lean into uncertainty instead of fighting it. She’d say, "Maybe you’ll kill yourself—who knows?" At first, it felt scary, but for OCD, it was freeing. Slowly, I realized my thoughts were just thoughts. ERP gave me my life back. I’m working again, I’m sober, and for the first time, I can imagine a future. If you’re scared to try ERP, I get it. But if you’re already living in fear, why not try a set of tools that can give you hope?
Sosa2loud
- Date posted
- 11w ago
Kind of Spiraling
Hi guys! I’m new to the community and I’ve recently received my OCD diagnosis (tho I’ve known about it since childhood). I’ve been somewhat spiraling lately as I wait for my first ERP session (hooray!) I was just wondering if any of you guys have received ERP for existential OCD and if it was successful? My existential OCD compulsions are more so mental and have been affecting me in the sense of dream/memory flashbacks and giving me a sort of “uncanny” feeling about everything around me. Any advice is appreciated! Thank you❤️
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