Before starting ERP for Real Event OCD, did anyone else think “they’ll never have heard something like this before”?

Yep. When I had my 90 minute assessment, I was petrified. I was completely convinced the counselor was going to tell me I didn't meet the criteria for OCD. So I was caught off guard when she said I DO meet the criteria. I had never told anyone about the thoughts I struggled with. I have both harm and suicide OCD, plus a few others. But I was especially afraid to admit the intrusive thoughts related to my harm and suicide OCD. I was afraid the counselor was going to call the police on me or that I would end up involuntarily committed somewhere. But her expression didn't even change. Honestly, I still worry that some of the thoughts I have make me dangerous, a psychopath, or a monster. ERP has definitely helped a lot. I have several OCD themes that are rooted in real events. I feel such conflict. On the one hand, I know my thoughts and fears are completely irrational. But I just can't seem to get rid of them. I am still in treatment and am making real progress. But its still hard.

Yes 😬 sometimes I still think that, like my situation is special

That makes me feel a little more inclined to go through ERP. It’s so hard the knowing that the thoughts are real things that have happened and differentiating between the idea that it could be OCD or that it’s a genuine concern. I’m not looking for anyone to solve it or tell me that it’s all going to be ok and my worst fear isn’t going to come true. I just want to be able to live moderately happy in the unknown because it beats the everyday dread of “could be today all your fears come true”. Thankyou for putting my mind at ease about ERP, I guess it’s just the idea that you’re going to be facing the ugliest thoughts/things you’ve done that you just can’t seem to get past. And I know it’s all relative with OCD, it kind of sits on what you consider your worst fears, but because it’s MY worst fear I automatically assume I will be shelved from society and cast into the dark ages only to be taught in history lessons for the evils I’ve put upon the world. Even though I’ve confessed to many and they tell me to stop being so ridiculous.