anyone else feel like sometimes they like the thoughts and it gives them no anxiety? i am so convinced i am my thoughts especially that i have 0 anxiety towards them

My thoughts are here but I have no anxiety. No matter what if I agree with the thoughts it doesn’t give me anxiety. If I think about how not having anxiety means that the thoughts are my truth since I’m not having anxiety. Nothing is giving me anxiety and I don’t know why but I don’t like that it’s not giving me anxiety. Is this normal?

When I say I feel like I like a thought, I don’t mean the OCD is telling me like a thought or that I concluded that from a physical sensation. I mean, I genuinely feel like something in my brain lights up and it feels like I like it mentally. Whenever I hear people talk about liking thoughts (excitement, arousal), I always see things about groinals or heart flutters. Physical things. I don’t think I really ever see people talk about the mental sensation if this is even a thing. I just wanna know if anyone relates to this or has found an explanation for this because seeing it from an analytical point of view seems to help me sometimes. This is so, *so* especially hard for pocd themed thoughts :( Anyone relate?

Ive been struggling with the fear that if i am suicidal or something and ive been having like fears or intrusive thoughts of jumping off or losing control and acting on these thoughts and i dont know if this is just some very bad case of anxiety? Im always thinking about it trying to prove it wrong in my head and its gotten to a point where its effecting my sleep, i use chat gpt. I know deep down i dont wanna do any of it, i mean the very thought makes me panic quick so idk i just want to forget all these thoughts and i was wondering if anyone goes through this as well?