My relationship ocd is only one small obsession, but it’s causing me a ton of stress in my marriage. I constantly feel paranoid of cheating or just not ending up together. I often reject affection or love because I’m scared of there attachment I feel. Even after 6 years. What ways can you block out those negative thoughts???

Me too. Not a good day today… but one day at a time :)

@LisaP99 That's right! And having a support system helps too! We're all here for each other :)

Thank you so much! I am trying to take it day by day! Not reacting or seeking the reassurance is so hard but so important. Same to you!

Right! U know what I find Hope that even though there’re a lot of people with rocd, most of them are not like ours in that their fears are self focused like they’re afraid they themselves will cheat or they’re afraid they don’t love their partner.

You are definitely not alone! I struggle with the paraniod thoughts of being cheated on constantly. I don’t worry about myself cheating on him, cause I know I wouldn’t do that to him. Ultimately I feel he wouldn’t do it to me either, but I am always searching for signs or making them up in my mind. I constantly look for reassurance in his words, or my mind runs loose and I create insane scenarios or think of something wild until I’m upsetting myself. I’m here for you if ya ever want to chat. I don’t personally have any experience professionally with ERP, or any recent therapy, but I actively work on myself with other tools I have found to help myself. Like I mentioned earlier, I journal a lot when these thoughts start creeping up & it helps me from pestering him over and over. Or driving myself too crazy. It’s just constantly a work in progress!

@jazzmyn_Murphy I hope I’m not being annoying by pointing out ur compulsions but the searching for signs is a “checking” compulsion. I learned that recently.

@LisaP99 Ooh, please tell me more. I honestly didn’t know. I’m always open to learning!

@jazzmyn_Murphy That’s all I have lol. When you said you’re always searching for signs, it stood out to me. I told my therapist when I go to my bf’s house I’m scanning/analyzing the house for clues of cheating. And she told me it was a checking compulsion. I didn’t realize it. When a book would talk about checking I would just turn the page, “doesn’t apply to me”, lol.

@LisaP99 Ooh okay. That makes sense lol.

@jazzmyn_Murphy Another good resource is https://theocdstories.com/ It’s a podcast.

So proud of you! I hope to reach where you're at soon!

@nervousbeans Ty! I still have bad days but yeah, I try celebrate when I can. :)

@LisaP99 Always celebrate the victories no matter their size :)

Omg! That’s so me! Everything and I mean everything triggers me! All roads lead to his infidelity. And yes, the amount I over analyze everything concerning him is insane. I’m a reassurance junkie. My bf has changed bc of my ocd. He used to have such compassion when it came to my insecurities that ocd causes. It’s a insatiable monster, it doesn’t care about you, your husband, your happiness, life. I just started ERP with an ocd therapist in my area. It’s a beast to manage but she says I’ll see vast improvement by the end of the year. Seems impossible some days but I believe her.

I’m not sure how much you know about your rocd but reassurance seeking and ruminating (the fixating) are compulsions

And ERP is the gold standard to treating ocd. Blocking the thoughts are impossible, it just doesn’t happen but ERP helps you manage them better

@LisaP99 I don’t know too much about rocd, I’m kinda just now learning about some of my specific ocds. But I realize rocd is a MAJOR focus in my life the past few years. I try my best to journal when I start getting those feelings, as a way to sorta block them or not strike an argument because of them. I know I’m driving us both insane with the constant questions and insecurities. But it’s like my brain needs to hear the reassurance constantly in order to quiet down.

@jazzmyn_Murphy Yes, obsessed. I can tell you’re trying really hard, the positive reinforcement, journaling and bearing down and not letting it out. I’ve been there! If you have the resources, I strongly recommend seeing a therapist who specializes in OCD and ERP. It’s very important that they know ERP, traditional CBT doesn’t work. When I was waiting to see my ocd therapist, I read The Mindfulness Workbook for OCD by Jon Hershfield. There’s usually a Wednesday webinar with Dr McGrath on here, he’s great. Um I hate to say it but I attended a support group meeting on this app for rocd and I didn’t like it myself, it ended up triggering me. My therapist had suggestions on support groups but I didn’t retain them. I could ask and let you know. Also I watched Katie D’Ath on YouTube, she has a lot of videos, they’re numbered but she gives a complete explanation of ocd and how ERP works.

@jazzmyn_Murphy This isn’t you. Ocd makes me appear jealous, insecure and self centered. Once I started to learn I started to draw the line between me and ocd. I’m confident, caring and the cool gf I want to be. I just started to see my OCD therapist but on my last visit she said with the most confidence that I’ll see a vast improvement by the end of the year, so looking forward to it, seems impossible some days.

@LisaP99 I definitely want to get in with a therapist ASAP.. we just moved across country and I have a 4 year old & a 4 month old so I have to just clear the time for it is all. But I do think I need to get started on serious ERP therapy. I haven’t personally seen a therapist for my ocd since I was like 10 years old. But I need to. My ocd is stopping me from being the wife, mother or woman I would like to see myself being. Thank you for your support & encouraging words.

@jazzmyn_Murphy Oh I understand! But my OCD makes me so irritable where I’m impatient with my kids. I’m not present with my kids! Sometimes my ocd is so loud I have difficulty listening to them or putting them first bc I can’t let go of my obsession/compulsions. I put myself first a lil bit so I can be a better mom. They know when I’m irritable and it’s not fair to them. Plus, it’s extremely difficult for our partners to take this on, it’s our ocd, it’s ours to handle and manage. And you want your relationship with your husband to be happy and healthy for your kids’ sake too. On Monday I did some poor planning and I was triggered, I mean a level 10! I had the option to attend a virtual support group meeting (separate from NOCD) and my plan was to not attend… until I was triggered. I called my daughter’s grandparents and asked if I could be an hour late. Called my teen and told him I would be an hour late getting home. Sat at my work parking lot and attended my meeting. By the time I was with my kids, I remember specifically actively listening to my teen about his homework and talked to him in a way that wouldn’t have been possible if I hadn’t taken care of myself. It’s hard! And bc I spent an hour doing that on Monday, I passed on playing soccer with a group of women on Tuesday evening. :( but that’s okay though! I’ve done a lot on my own but I can tell my therapist is going to put me on the right track and I’m going to make progress. And I feel ya as far as the “woman I would like to see myself being”. I hate being depicted as a jealous, insecure woman! It’s not me.

@LisaP99 I totally understand! Thank you for sharing with me!! 💕 I’m going to continue to work on myself so I can be a better mom and wife as well. It is trying at times but I know it’s what is best and easiest for everyone.

Ty!