i used to always make jokes about being gay, like for example if i saw a pretty girl i would say "yeah i would date her" jokingly and never thought much of it, i don't even think i meant it literally, but what if i did? and why am i not freaking out?

"Pure" OCD

Sexual Orientation OCD

The joke was considered a joke because the thought of it being true didn’t cross your mind. Now it seems like you’re just worried that it could be true now, so it’s become an obsession. 

that resonated so well!!! thank you so much!!!