I want to be staight too, but there is things what makes me think otherwise and that scares me too...
i feel this especially the therapy part
it’s unreal for something to feel this wrong and make me so unhappy
I was there, is normal guys you just have to let go of that need of knowing for a fact that you are straight youll never get it unless you embrace uncertainty, its hard but you just have to be able to live with any possibility in order to stop obssesing and get rid of anxiety towards this, only then youll be able to see clear again. And therapy Will help so much, just tell yourself " well maybe i Will find out a truth i fear but at least i'll be able to cope with things through therapy" lose that fear.