why can i imagine myself with a woman and feel no anxiety but when it's with a man i get all these doubts and my mind replaces him with a woman???? i don't want to like girls!!

This is what OCD does I have these same issues where I know I feel completely comfortable with a woman but my mind says I would feel this with a man, but I know this isn’t true because at 19 I had a gay experience with a guy and it didn’t feel right to my body at all

I experimented too and although when the person did something to me it felt good in that I felt like I was going to finish instantly I had so much anxiety and fear. When it came to my turn to do something to her it was nothing like what I thought it was going to be. But I’m scared that that is just me not accepting and that I should experiment more. Do you relate to this at all?

My fear now is that women will reject me or doubt me for my past or my past experiences my OCD transitioned into this now, fear of rejection which leads me into anger resentment towards myself and bitterness all these things I need to change