- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
It’s normal to have recovery for years and then to fall back into it. I’ve been told you need to constantly keep up with things and manage the ocd bc any thing can be a trigger and send you into Spiraling again . I hope you can get back to where you were before. I know you can do it.
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you so much. The onset was so sudden that it caught me with my defenses down and I was unprepared to use the methods I know to manage the intrusive thoughts. But that's how OCD gets you, by worming in when you aren't looking. I appreciate your words of support
- Date posted
- 3y
I’m having a flare up right now as well. The last time it was bad was about two or three years ago. Before this spike, I was suffering with relationship OCD in my current relationship as well as with close friends. My OCD wants me isolated. I decided to go on a trip with a bunch of girls to try to make friends and challenge myself to connect. I didn’t have any sexual attraction to the women but the intimacy and vulnerability required of me to be friends with them was overwhelming and I felt crazy and so different that I must be gay. I’ve always been hyper aware when women touch me in any way wondering if they have a crush on me or think I’m gay. Or if they look at my mouth when the talk to me, I think they want to kiss me and it makes me uncomfortable. I’ve ruminated on this for the last five days. Gone through every sexual scenario and can even convince myself that sex with a woman would feel good and I am attracted. No woman in real life has ever made me feel that way. I’m deeply committed to my boyfriend so much so that I’m moving across the state and switching jobs (this stress is also contributing to my flare I’m sure) to be with him. I’ve gotten reconnected to a therapist who helped me overcome anorexia and OCD associated with food and body and also have increased my dosage of lexapro. I even confessed to my boyfriend that I was bi and after being totally loving and accepting, he told me I could experiment if I needed to and I started bawling and said that I didn’t want to and that it was so confusing and exhausting because I’m not bi or am I??? Or maybe sexuality is just so incredibly fluid and I’m failing to accept the gray. Maybe I do think breasts and butts are beautiful and they turn me on but I still don’t wish to have romantic partnership with women. I meditate and do yoga daily. I’m just gonna do what I can and trust that this too shall pass. I’m grateful for this app and so happy to be here to give and receive support
- Date posted
- 3y
"My OCD wants me isolated" resonates so much with me, and I appreciate you sharing this insight. I wish you much success with therapy. With support and the right tools, I'm hopeful we can both reach wellness
- Date posted
- 3y
@genericusername33 We totally can 💗 only one life to live, we deserve the best even if we gotta fight for it
- Date posted
- 3y
Did this ever mess with your libido
- Date posted
- 3y
With men?
- Date posted
- 3y
At the time, I wasn't really dating anyone. Right now, I don't feel the same level of desire for my boyfriend that I usually would, but I can't tell if it's because of this episode or just not being in the mood right now/stress, or all of the above
- Date posted
- 3y
I had my first ocd thought and spiraled. I was diagnosed and put on medication. I felt totally normal, met my boyfriend got engaged moved in together. Back in January I found out I was pregnant and ended up stopping the medicine immediately. I had a miscarriage and I’ve been trying so hard to get pregnant again and haven’t been able to and I keep telling myself I’ll stay off the meds until I do. The bad thing is I’ve relapsed and it’s so much worse this time around. I just feel numb a lot of the time and I panic less apparently that’s a good thing but I just feel so hopeless honestly. I’m at a point where I want to start medicine again but I’m scared it won’t change my thoughts.
- Date posted
- 3y
I hear you and that sounds impossibly difficult. Rock and a hard place times infinity. It’s been my experience in the past that when I put my mental health first, the rest falls into place but I know that’s a different story when trying for a baby. Are there meds that are approved for pregnancy?
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
I have just recently realized that I had SO OCD. This began whenever I was watching porn and had an intrusive thought about the guy in the porn. It was more minor at first, it was a majority of what I was thinking about throughout the day but it didn’t feel as distressing at first. If I had downtime to think about it, it would affect me but if I was just going about my day I wouldn’t notice it. I began going through the compulsions of checking myself. This lasted for a while until another obsession occurred. Then it seemed as if my SO OCD took a step back. I would have flare ups but they would seem to pass. Recently, I had a very bad night of constant compulsions and looking at pictures and imagining things to check myself. After that night it was very distressing, it affected me to the point where people around me began to notice and ask me if I was okay. One of the big reasons I was so upset was my girlfriend, we have been together for over 3 years and I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I was thinking “Oh my god, if I am gay I can never be with her.” I would sit and cry about it thinking I would lose her and that might life would change because I was gay. I finally had enough and talked to her and my parents. We did some research and I was so shocked to find out that I had a form of OCD, it was like a weight being lifted off my shoulders just knowing that other people have been where I am and that I’m not gay. However, I may have naively expected the compulsions and obsessive thoughts to go away now that I knew I had an actual problem. But I found that the compulsions and thoughts were still there and I was going to put some effort into getting better. I have researched and now know what to do when experiencing intrusive thoughts, yet I still have been performing the compulsions which is just feeding into the OCD. I find myself having intrusive thoughts and then start performing compulsions to see if they are true. What really bothers me is when I have an intrusive thought that tells me that I do like something. But when I think about it I have no desire to pursue those thoughts. However when I feed into the compulsions they just seem to feed into each other. It is like my OCD ignores all the things that I know I like and goes straight to panic mode. I am also trying to do ERP and am going to start doing my best to get better. Does anyone have any tips for not performing the compulsions no matter how anxious you are feeling and no matter how real the intrusive thoughts seem to feel?
- Date posted
- 23w
I'm new to NOCD, but not new to my own OCD journey. I was diagnosed in 2017 and usually experience relationship obsessions. Medication helped me tremendously and I was able to tackle and overcome the anxiety I felt when my husband and I first got together. Fast forward to now. My best friend has decided to casually enter the dating world again and that terrifies me. The fact that it scared me triggered an HOCD spiral, that I think I've now gotten myself out of. I just feel pathetic for being so fearful that my friend is going to realize she's too good for me and leave me behind once she has a partner. I know this likely stems from my own feelings of inadequacy and low self esteem, but my OCD has latched itself to this fear and I've been catching myself falling into old habits that I thought I'd overcome. I don't want to be living under the cloud again. Just looking for some encouragement or someone else who understands what this feels like.
- Date posted
- 15w
i had recently been triggered to have so-ocd. its been on my mind non-stop. (i am a heterosexual female) and my mind has been all over the place questioning if i have been in denial the entire time. ive always had people tell me they sort of got that vibe it it never really affected me until my own mother had her suspicions. so i would constantly get triggered un public around the same gender, while knowing my true sexuality. ive always been attracted to men but as of recently ive been having super bad anxiety to where i cannot eat or sleep and feel weak all the time. it was like that for a week or so. now im in the calm where i have been trying accept the uncertainty but it still isnt fair as im getting triggered. im a little worried because it feels like i have been lying to my parents the entire time although ive never had the desire to be with the same gender. and i keep getting intrusive thoguhts that make me feel anxious and uncomfortable. its all starting to affect my friendships as im constantly getting triggered with the intrusive thoguhts. i feel a little less anxious compared to how i was a couple days ago. im really scared on why im having these thoughts now when i have been having romantic feelings for a guy the past year or so. ive also been struggling with false attraction and loss attraction to men. it makes me feel uncertain of my life the entire time
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