- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
It’s normal to have recovery for years and then to fall back into it. I’ve been told you need to constantly keep up with things and manage the ocd bc any thing can be a trigger and send you into Spiraling again . I hope you can get back to where you were before. I know you can do it.
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you so much. The onset was so sudden that it caught me with my defenses down and I was unprepared to use the methods I know to manage the intrusive thoughts. But that's how OCD gets you, by worming in when you aren't looking. I appreciate your words of support
- Date posted
- 3y
I’m having a flare up right now as well. The last time it was bad was about two or three years ago. Before this spike, I was suffering with relationship OCD in my current relationship as well as with close friends. My OCD wants me isolated. I decided to go on a trip with a bunch of girls to try to make friends and challenge myself to connect. I didn’t have any sexual attraction to the women but the intimacy and vulnerability required of me to be friends with them was overwhelming and I felt crazy and so different that I must be gay. I’ve always been hyper aware when women touch me in any way wondering if they have a crush on me or think I’m gay. Or if they look at my mouth when the talk to me, I think they want to kiss me and it makes me uncomfortable. I’ve ruminated on this for the last five days. Gone through every sexual scenario and can even convince myself that sex with a woman would feel good and I am attracted. No woman in real life has ever made me feel that way. I’m deeply committed to my boyfriend so much so that I’m moving across the state and switching jobs (this stress is also contributing to my flare I’m sure) to be with him. I’ve gotten reconnected to a therapist who helped me overcome anorexia and OCD associated with food and body and also have increased my dosage of lexapro. I even confessed to my boyfriend that I was bi and after being totally loving and accepting, he told me I could experiment if I needed to and I started bawling and said that I didn’t want to and that it was so confusing and exhausting because I’m not bi or am I??? Or maybe sexuality is just so incredibly fluid and I’m failing to accept the gray. Maybe I do think breasts and butts are beautiful and they turn me on but I still don’t wish to have romantic partnership with women. I meditate and do yoga daily. I’m just gonna do what I can and trust that this too shall pass. I’m grateful for this app and so happy to be here to give and receive support
- Date posted
- 3y
"My OCD wants me isolated" resonates so much with me, and I appreciate you sharing this insight. I wish you much success with therapy. With support and the right tools, I'm hopeful we can both reach wellness
- Date posted
- 3y
@genericusername33 We totally can 💗 only one life to live, we deserve the best even if we gotta fight for it
- Date posted
- 3y
Did this ever mess with your libido
- Date posted
- 3y
With men?
- Date posted
- 3y
At the time, I wasn't really dating anyone. Right now, I don't feel the same level of desire for my boyfriend that I usually would, but I can't tell if it's because of this episode or just not being in the mood right now/stress, or all of the above
- Date posted
- 3y
I had my first ocd thought and spiraled. I was diagnosed and put on medication. I felt totally normal, met my boyfriend got engaged moved in together. Back in January I found out I was pregnant and ended up stopping the medicine immediately. I had a miscarriage and I’ve been trying so hard to get pregnant again and haven’t been able to and I keep telling myself I’ll stay off the meds until I do. The bad thing is I’ve relapsed and it’s so much worse this time around. I just feel numb a lot of the time and I panic less apparently that’s a good thing but I just feel so hopeless honestly. I’m at a point where I want to start medicine again but I’m scared it won’t change my thoughts.
- Date posted
- 3y
I hear you and that sounds impossibly difficult. Rock and a hard place times infinity. It’s been my experience in the past that when I put my mental health first, the rest falls into place but I know that’s a different story when trying for a baby. Are there meds that are approved for pregnancy?
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
Hey everyone. I wanted to share my story and some of the things I have/am experiencing in my journey with OCD- particularly with Sexual Orientation OCD. My goal is not to use this as a means for reassurance for myself or for any other, rather as to be a reminder for myself and you all that you are NOT alone. No matter what you are experiencing you aren’t alone, and we have all gone through the same thoughts and feelings as you, in whatever form they may have been. For personal reasons I will not share my name, but I do want to share about me and my journey with what has truly been one of the hardest things I’ve ever experienced. I am a 24 year old female and for as long as I’ve remembered I’ve always been a “worrier”. My dad used to tell me that worrying will be the fastest way I’d die lol. Oh! How I wish I could go back to those days of just simply worry. For the past few years I have struggled with what I now know is intrusive thoughts. But, luckily for me they were a little calmer than what I’ve experienced now. They were the occasional worrying that my boyfriend died but I would get over it rather quickly. Well, in may of 2024, I had just graduated college, was about to get married and about to move out. So, that triggered some switch in my brain and thus began this horrible disease of OCD. My main type has been SO-OCD but I have found some moments that I’ve also struggled with ROCD as well as some existential crisis OCD. I have unfortunately not been able to go to therapy because of money but I am on meds and have been using tips and tricks I’ve found online. My goal is to still go to therapy when I can find the right time. And I, like many of you have months of great “freedom” from the disease; and then, like I find myself now, fall back into its trap. I wanted to share some of the things I’ve experienced with this to see if y’all have experienced the same things and to let you know you are not alone. For reference, I am straight (I am happily married to my wonderful husband). 1. Thoughts from the past: I slightly remember having a thought that I’d be gay when I was around 12-13… that was around the time I actually first figured out what that meant. Even then, I (more easily than now) brushed it off. Continued to have about a million crushes on boys and never thought of it again. But now, with my OCD, I feel “convinced” that that was a sign that I was gay. 2. I have always been a girls girl. Me and my friend have a joke that we are worse than men! Meaning that when we see a pretty girl with a nice body, we stare. We say they are pretty. Never have I ever thought anything of it. It was always from a place of envy and admiration. Never a place of lust or anything along those lines. But NOW. OH! If I even look that direction I feel guilty, I feel like that’s confirmation that I am gay. And even worse- that is one of my compulsions. To look and make myself “prove” I’m not gay. 3. I have lost “feeling” for my partner. I love my husband. More than anything else. I could not live without him. But since this all happened, my emotions and fears have been all over the place that I’ve somewhat lost that feeling. It doesn’t help that I’m on medicine that can have that effect. I have to just remind myself that love isn’t always feelings, it’s a choice. And I choose him every single day. 4. sex life issues: bc/ of the OCD fear as well as my medication, I don’t have much sex drive or pleasure in the bedroom as I did before OCD… and, my OCD likes to convince me that that is because I would be better off with a woman (even tho I don’t want that) and then, OH THEN, I proceed to experience some groinal sensation from that though. So- cue even more “proof” that I am gay. well- that’s all I can think of now. Let me know if any one yall struggle with those. And I hope you know, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. YOU ARE NOT YOUR THOUGHTS. YOU ARE NOT YOUR OCD 💚
- Date posted
- 24w
I'm new to NOCD, but not new to my own OCD journey. I was diagnosed in 2017 and usually experience relationship obsessions. Medication helped me tremendously and I was able to tackle and overcome the anxiety I felt when my husband and I first got together. Fast forward to now. My best friend has decided to casually enter the dating world again and that terrifies me. The fact that it scared me triggered an HOCD spiral, that I think I've now gotten myself out of. I just feel pathetic for being so fearful that my friend is going to realize she's too good for me and leave me behind once she has a partner. I know this likely stems from my own feelings of inadequacy and low self esteem, but my OCD has latched itself to this fear and I've been catching myself falling into old habits that I thought I'd overcome. I don't want to be living under the cloud again. Just looking for some encouragement or someone else who understands what this feels like.
- Date posted
- 16w
i had recently been triggered to have so-ocd. its been on my mind non-stop. (i am a heterosexual female) and my mind has been all over the place questioning if i have been in denial the entire time. ive always had people tell me they sort of got that vibe it it never really affected me until my own mother had her suspicions. so i would constantly get triggered un public around the same gender, while knowing my true sexuality. ive always been attracted to men but as of recently ive been having super bad anxiety to where i cannot eat or sleep and feel weak all the time. it was like that for a week or so. now im in the calm where i have been trying accept the uncertainty but it still isnt fair as im getting triggered. im a little worried because it feels like i have been lying to my parents the entire time although ive never had the desire to be with the same gender. and i keep getting intrusive thoguhts that make me feel anxious and uncomfortable. its all starting to affect my friendships as im constantly getting triggered with the intrusive thoguhts. i feel a little less anxious compared to how i was a couple days ago. im really scared on why im having these thoughts now when i have been having romantic feelings for a guy the past year or so. ive also been struggling with false attraction and loss attraction to men. it makes me feel uncertain of my life the entire time
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