I first sought help for SO-OCD in 2017 after a sudden onset of the thought, "what if I'm gay?" I had been reading an online college fiction story that included a sex scene with two women, and that idea sent me into a spiral of sleepless weeks (literally), constantly checking my level of attraction to women, comparing it to my attraction to men, reevaluating past events, checking to see if my physical behaviors were "straight." It was awful. Fortunately I found help online when I realized that I wasn't alone and that countless others found themselves obsessing over a "sudden change" in their orientation. I was able to get therapy, though out of network and very expensive, and worked through CBT/ERP to overcome my most significant challenges. After about a year, through therapy and eventually on my own (costs, again smh) I felt I'd successfully managed my SO-OCD and experienced no distress on the rare occasion a thought did come to pass. Now, 5 years later, I've found myself back in familiar territory. I can't figure out what the trigger was here, and I've been experiencing immense distress as my brain constantly throws doubtful thoughts my way, and I unfortunately do my mental checks of reviewing memories, seeking online reassurance, and trying to "prove" to myself what is true by constantly thinking about proof one way or the other. Has anyone else experienced a spike after a long time of having managed their SO-OCD? And if so, was it difficult to get back on the recovery track? Is it normal to backslide like this?

Hi everyone, Lately, I’ve been feeling confused and anxious about my sexuality, which has been challenging to navigate. I’ve always identified as straight and am currently in a happy relationship with my boyfriend. However, I’ve recently started questioning if I might have some attraction to women, which has caused me a lot of anxiety. To be clear, I’ve never experienced romantic or physical attraction toward women in real life, but I have watched lesbian porn in the past. Now, I can’t help but worry that this might mean I’m attracted to women after all. On top of this, I’ve noticed a decrease in my sexual desire for my boyfriend, which only intensifies my concerns about both my sexual orientation and my relationship. This confusion is something I’ve never dealt with before, and it’s starting to take an emotional toll. If anyone has experienced something similar, I would really appreciate any advice or insights on how you worked through it. What helped you find clarity? Someone mentioned that my anxiety might be OCD-related, though I’m not familiar with OCD in this context. I’d love to hear from anyone with experience in navigating these kinds of thoughts or anxiety. I’m open to any personal stories, resources, or guidance on how to approach this situation, both for myself and in communication with my partner. I want to better understand what I’m feeling without being overwhelmed by fear. Thank you in advance for your support!

Hi everyone, Lately, I’ve been feeling confused and anxious about my sexuality, which has been challenging to navigate. I’ve always identified as straight and am currently in a happy relationship with my boyfriend. However, I’ve recently started questioning if I might have some attraction to women, which has caused me a lot of anxiety. To be clear, I’ve never experienced romantic or physical attraction toward women in real life, but I have watched lesbian porn in the past. Now, I can’t help but worry that this might mean I’m attracted to women after all. On top of this, I’ve noticed a decrease in my sexual desire for my boyfriend, which only intensifies my concerns about both my sexual orientation and my relationship. This confusion is something I’ve never dealt with before, and it’s starting to take an emotional toll. If anyone has experienced something similar, I would really appreciate any advice or insights on how you worked through it. What helped you find clarity? Someone mentioned that my anxiety might be OCD-related, though I’m not familiar with OCD in this context. I’d love to hear from anyone with experience in navigating these kinds of thoughts or anxiety. I’m open to any personal stories, resources, or guidance on how to approach this situation, both for myself and in communication with my partner. I want to better understand what I’m feeling without being overwhelmed by fear. Thank you in advance for your support!

Looked up OCD recovery / success stories to give myself some hope. Found a link to a page on the NOCD website that shared a few people's recovery journeys. Clicked on the first one that had SOOCD tagged as a theme. She had the fear she was gay. Turns out she IS gay. It really triggered me and now I'm in a bit of a spiral 😭 ended up googling and looking for reassurance. I feel guilty and sad for engaging in compulsions. Like I just took a huge step back, or something.