Having lots of intrusive sexual thoughts right now and it’s hard. I haven’t been great about response prevention with them, because they trouble me too much not to do something about them.

First post, kinda scary. I’ve been trying to figure out for the longest time if this is an ocd thing or something else. For context, I used to have a really big problem with watching porn, starting for about 11-12 yrs old and only stopping a few months ago (I’m 24 now). I constantly have sexual thoughts about nearly every person I see. My family, friends, strangers, and more. It feels completely out of my control and it eats me alive. I have no one to talk to about these thoughts but I feel like if I don’t tell someone I am condoning and accepting these things as good. So I tell my wife. And it breaks her heart every single time. I want to say 95% of the time, I don’t want those thoughts but I can’t say with certainty that there aren’t times I do want to think about porn. Or maybe I don’t. Idk. It’s so exhausting. I’d like some help determining if this is a result of OCD or something else (like porn addiction symptoms or something). Thank you.

My therapist said she feels stuck because I primarily struggle with intrusive images and feelings now. I don’t really get thoughts as much. And one exercise she wanted me to try was purposely thinking thoughts…I told her I couldn’t really think of any actual thought I felt comfortable with because the thoughts I do get are stuff like calling God things that are not true…and I of course don’t want to purposely think sexual images because that’s wrong to me. She said, “I do worry that if you don't feel ready to think about intrusive thoughts, that we won't be able to work on exposure practice, which is the main thing that should help you get over OCD” Idk what to do 😫

TW - Groinal Responses 18+ Also tmi As of the last week or two, I have no idea why or how, but the groinal responses have gotten so, so much worse... Today was so bad... And I'm still having a very hard time. Like, I don't even know if I want to say how bad it really is. It's beyond just obsessing about it; I have to try to distract myself so something doesn't actually happen from the groinal response (I'm intentionally being vague bc I don't want to say much about the situation). I'm seriously struggling... and I don't know what to do or how it can change... This is tmi too, but years ago I had another issue regarding groinal responses. And even just the thought of it made my body do something I would have thought couldn't have happened just from thinking and worrying about it happening [the thing my body did back then isn't as distressing as I'm worried about my body doing now] (and yes, I'm intentionally being vague again) My mind and body are very against me right now...