Just another OCD guy
- Date posted
- 4y
CaptainKierkegaardCaptainKierk...
- Date posted
- 4y
You’ll get different opinions as to whether it’s right or wrong. What’s yours? In case you really do think you were wrong, how do you respond to that? Maybe, instead of looking for reassurance that you did nothing wrong, you need to figure out how to have grace for yourself when you have done something wrong and can’t convince yourself otherwise. Everyone does things that violate their values. It’s important to know how to live with your shortcomings. In fact, it’s a crucial part of being able to do better. Lots of hugs. :)
Just another OCD guyJust another...
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you so much. Those are really wise words. I do feel like what I did was wrong and I have talked to my wife about it for years but I don’t know how to forgive myself. She’s told me that since it was before we even kissed that it doesn’t matter but I can’t help but feel guilt
CaptainKierkegaardCaptainKierk...
- Date posted
- 4y
@Just another OCD guy Letting go is a really hard thing to do when we feel like we *should* suffer over something. Like how do you feel okay that a loved one has passed or that you hurt someone or that someone hurt you? Isn’t that kind of flippant? I dealt with this question recently as I was asking myself how to forgive another. I am a Christian, but my religious beliefs don’t entirely answer the question of how to let go emotionally while still holding the act as wrong even if your attitude is one of forgiveness. Fortunately, humans have a great way of letting go of things while reverently acknowledging their significance. It involves some pain, but we are all familiar with it: grieving. What was lost? What harm was done? What was wrong about what happened? Let yourself feel sad about it for a little bit. Don’t be angry at yourself. Don’t think about how you’re going to talk to someone else about it or what you’re going to do about it. Just be sad from your own perspective. Say goodbye to what was lost, what could have been. Then be mindful of what your feeling and thinking, and your surroundings, reminding yourself that you are here now and have a choice as to how you live now and that there are many beautiful things around you that are still beautiful right now regardless of whatever their history was. Lastly, get out there and live your life and do things that matter to you. This is just what helps me in matters of forgiveness. Hope it helps you.
KathyAKathyA
- Date posted
- 4y
Does your wife know you were seeing other people when you first met?
Just another OCD guyJust another...
- Date posted
- 4y
Yeah I’ve told her but I still feel bad. When my wife and I first met we were just friends but it quickly became more and more obvious that we had a connection so I stopped seeing other people.
KathyAKathyA
- Date posted
- 4y
@Just another OCD guy I suffer from ROCD as well as many other themes so I know what you mean.... Even though it all feels real, unfortunately OCD just keeps lying to us and we have to do the ERP..... Try to do some ERP or a Hobby when you are too much in your head....
Just another OCD guyJust another...
- Date posted
- 4y
@KathyA Yeah I’m trying :( I just can’t picture life without her. I’m scared to disappoint her or her regretting me. Such a shitty feeling. Thanks for replying. I really needed someone to talk to
KathyAKathyA
- Date posted
- 4y
@Just another OCD guy You’re welcome! It really is a horrible feeling! OCD is just terrible.... I’m still trying to figure out how to let go and stop ruminating as well...
KathyAKathyA
- Date posted
- 4y
A lot of my friends tell me that they usually date multiple ppl at once until they find someone they want a relationship with....
Related posts
isabellamper...
- Date posted
- 25w
Ruminating about past porn usage
When I was single, I watched a lot of porn, specifically lesbian porn even though I’m straight. When I got into my current relationship I dwindled down and eventually stopped watching porn of any kind, around six or so months ago. I had a flare up recently that has caused me to question every part of myself including my sexuality and my identity, my relationship, and other things that are important and valued to me, and porn keeps popping up in all of these things. I feel like my porn usage was me cheating on my boyfriend, especially in the early parts of our relationship. I broke down to him last month about it and he said it was okay, that he forgives me, but I’m still hung up on it because I can’t shake the feeling that I’ve wronged him and that I’m a terrible person and that I need to leave him because of this. This is so excruciatingly painful. I don’t want to keep confessing over and over and over again, but I don’t want to be a dirty lying cheater, which I feel like I am.
Chickenwang123
- Date posted
- 22w
I had a one night stand …
I slept with someone before I met the love of my life .. I slept with this guy and then the next day I met the guy I’m seeing now at a restaurant.. we hit it off from there and been together ever since .. I’ve had major ocd about confessing that I had a one night stand before him .. but I fed so hard into the ocd that I kept saying well what if I did more bad things not only before .. BUT AFTER I MET HIM.. So I’m comming here for some reassurance … my question to yall is .. if I did something wrong RIGHT AFTER I met my boyfriend , wouldn’t I have been stressing about that rather than what happend BEFORE ? Or maybe I just forgot ?? HELP
Puffin123456
- Date posted
- 19w
Pls help
So recently my husband was telling me that I better not think about someone else during intimacy and it triggered a memory that I believe is 1-2 years ago. Me and my bf were being intimate and I had just watched a movie with a certain celebrity said celebrity popped into my mind. Along with him being on top of me and being the one being intimate with me. I cannot remember if I continued with it and kept imagining it until the end or not but I can’t imagine doing that because I feel so guilty about it now. However I do know it never happened before and its never happened again. I find my partner the sexiest person alive and the thought of cheating makes me sick it’s something I would never do even when my brand wanders to fantasize I always stop it so idk it feels confusing to me. The memory kinda just popped into my head so I honestly don’t know how real majority of it is or if any of it is. If I did do that, is that cheating? Should I confess. I feel I shouldn’t as it would just cause insecurity for my partner and I don’t want that but I’m worried I cheated somehow if I really did imagine the celebrity the whole time we were intimate.
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