- Username
- Just another OCD guy
- Date posted
- 918d ago
- Relationship OCD
- "Pure" OCD
Does your wife know you were seeing other people when you first met?
Yeah I’ve told her but I still feel bad. When my wife and I first met we were just friends but it quickly became more and more obvious that we had a connection so I stopped seeing other people.
@Just another OCD guy I suffer from ROCD as well as many other themes so I know what you mean.... Even though it all feels real, unfortunately OCD just keeps lying to us and we have to do the ERP..... Try to do some ERP or a Hobby when you are too much in your head....
@KathyA Yeah I’m trying :( I just can’t picture life without her. I’m scared to disappoint her or her regretting me. Such a shitty feeling. Thanks for replying. I really needed someone to talk to
@Just another OCD guy You’re welcome! It really is a horrible feeling! OCD is just terrible.... I’m still trying to figure out how to let go and stop ruminating as well...
A lot of my friends tell me that they usually date multiple ppl at once until they find someone they want a relationship with....
You’ll get different opinions as to whether it’s right or wrong. What’s yours? In case you really do think you were wrong, how do you respond to that? Maybe, instead of looking for reassurance that you did nothing wrong, you need to figure out how to have grace for yourself when you have done something wrong and can’t convince yourself otherwise. Everyone does things that violate their values. It’s important to know how to live with your shortcomings. In fact, it’s a crucial part of being able to do better. Lots of hugs. :)
Thank you so much. Those are really wise words. I do feel like what I did was wrong and I have talked to my wife about it for years but I don’t know how to forgive myself. She’s told me that since it was before we even kissed that it doesn’t matter but I can’t help but feel guilt
@Just another OCD guy Letting go is a really hard thing to do when we feel like we *should* suffer over something. Like how do you feel okay that a loved one has passed or that you hurt someone or that someone hurt you? Isn’t that kind of flippant? I dealt with this question recently as I was asking myself how to forgive another. I am a Christian, but my religious beliefs don’t entirely answer the question of how to let go emotionally while still holding the act as wrong even if your attitude is one of forgiveness. Fortunately, humans have a great way of letting go of things while reverently acknowledging their significance. It involves some pain, but we are all familiar with it: grieving. What was lost? What harm was done? What was wrong about what happened? Let yourself feel sad about it for a little bit. Don’t be angry at yourself. Don’t think about how you’re going to talk to someone else about it or what you’re going to do about it. Just be sad from your own perspective. Say goodbye to what was lost, what could have been. Then be mindful of what your feeling and thinking, and your surroundings, reminding yourself that you are here now and have a choice as to how you live now and that there are many beautiful things around you that are still beautiful right now regardless of whatever their history was. Lastly, get out there and live your life and do things that matter to you. This is just what helps me in matters of forgiveness. Hope it helps you.