Can someone explain to me how is to be in love? I have a girfriend,I think I love her .

He loves me and complimenta me and saya beautiful things and does many things for me, he says he loves me and he is there for me, but me.. i cant even say i love you without doubting, i am doubting my feelings my atractuon for him, everything, i feel so bad, i dont want to be like this, i hate myself . He is precious and genuine and im scared im not, i have moments when i am happy … but rn i am sad. I saw him today. i dont know what i felt but as im writing this i feel guilt amd fear. Scared that i may be pretending. I want to be happy, what if im not happy with him.. it cant be.

These thought make me doubt my self so much it makes me think that the thoughts are real and it’s not my ocd I just want to be my old self I didn’t think about anything I can’t looks at the same gender because then my brain tells me I like them. But I just don’t want to lose my girlfriend I love her so much she’s the one who cures my ocd when am with her I don’t think about anything

I can’t stop thinking to myself “what if I don’t love her” but deep down I know I love her and that’s why I’m getting pissed off with these unwanted thoughts because it’s putting doubt in my head when in reality I love her what should I do?