I won against OCD My first post on this app was 740 days ago. I was just starting my freshman year at college. During that time I was meeting a lot of new people and forming new relationships but, I would be hindered by OCD. Many days I wouldn’t show up to class due to high levels of anxiety and constantly giving into compulsions. I ended up having really bad panic attack and had to go to the mental crisis center in my area to seek immediate help. I wouldn’t say I was suicidal but I was in a really dark place and would get those thoughts. After getting out of the mental crisis center I decided I needed to find a therapist who really knew OCD. Many of you in this community may know this but a lot of people don’t understand how hard it is for people like us to find good therapists because most therapists only have a firm grasp on mental illnesses like depression, anxiety and bipolar disorder. Nobody really understands what it’s like to have OCD. After I did find a good therapist it really did change my life, it took tremendous work and at the time I had to sacrifice some schooling in order to get my mental health in check and it did pay off wonderfully. I was so happy and felt in control of my own life for once. Then Covid happened and I relapsed so hard, I am sure many people can relate. My OCD was flaring up constantly and if dealing with that wasn’t enough all the personal stuff that was going on in my life because of this pandemic made it really stressful. I had a friend attempt to commit suicide, I had a girlfriend who cheated on me, a cousin that overdosed on drugs, a grandmother that has dementia and was forgetting who I am. I started drinking and smoking a lot more than usual to deal with all of this shit. But guess what? I pushed through it. What changed? I took ownership over my own life. What this pandemic taught me was that there’s a lot of shit in life you can’t control. I couldn’t control how long things were going to be shut down for and I can’t control my intrusive thoughts, but I still have control over my actions. I let all that shit go. I stopped waiting for someone else to tell me what to do and when to do it and just started making my own schedule. I quit my job, sobered up and left a lot of it in Gods hands honestly. I really didn’t have a plan but I just knew I needed to change and I couldn’t do that by staying in the same situation and seeing the same people. I was alone for quite sometime, all I did was read and workout but that isolation really grounded me. It gave me a deep understanding of who I wanted to be and where I wanted to go. Once I figured that out everything else fell into place. I moved towards my goals and my purpose in life and in the process my sanity came back. My therapist said to me I’ve made some of the most progress out of any patient she ever had and that was 6 months ago the last time I had an appointment with her, because I have officially graduated from therapy! I apologize for the long winded and personal story, maybe a lot of you didn’t even read the whole thing but for those of you that did just know if I could overcome all of these obstacles and overcome my OCD I know you can do it too! It may not be tomorrow, next month, or even next year but if you stay in treatment, surround yourself with the right people, and stop waiting for someone to give you direction and purpose and go live the life you want too live I guarantee you that you will succeed and get better. I’m not sure when’s the next time I’ll be posting on this app, So till then do as the great Tupac Shakur says and “Keep Ya Head Up”

I just completed a check in with my therapist today so naturally I reflected on my journey with OCD. Summer/Fall of 2023 feels like a swath of darkness. Bombarded with horrible intrusive thoughts, I thought my life was over. I did not see the light at the end of the tunnel. I hated myself. Life lost meaning for me and it felt as if every hope and dream was shattered. Needless to say my life was lost to me during a time when I should have been enjoying it the most. I was post grad with a good job lined up. But none of it mattered- my mind was as broken. Thank God, I had some small voice in me that urged me forward and to get help. So I did. I felt so scared and unsure. Was I doing the wrong thing going to therapy? I was not. It was the best decision I made for myself. Fast forward to nearly two years later, my life couldn’t be more different. I see and feel the light. I have so much love and gratitude for myself and for everyone who helped me along the journey. My therapist, my family, all the brave content creators who openly speak about their experiences, no matter how taboo. I won’t lie, it was a lot of work. And I had to learn to be uncomfortable and deal with frustrations. I had to learn to trust myself. I still deal with sticky and intrusive thoughts but my response and my daily life despite them can not be more different. So I am here to be proof to you that there is so much hope. If you don’t have the little voice in you urging you forward, than I will be just that. Go to therapy, get help, put in the work. It is so worth it. Every time there is a setback, and there will be many, push through. Feel free to ask questions! But no reassurance will be given.

I am FINALLY starting to (somewhat) recover from this last existential spiral, which admittedly, was probably the cruelest my OCD has ever been to me. Only thanks to you all. You were all able to provide me with kindness, understanding and support… without the kind of reassurance that feeds OCD, of course. When I downloaded this app, I was genuinely terrified. I was so scared that I was permanently doomed to the endless whirlpool that is the thoughts produced by my own brain and that life as I knew it was over, that I would never be happy again. For anyone who might be feeling that way right now, your OCD is LYING to you! Whatever you may be going through, it CAN get better. As hard as it may be right now, HAVE FAITH! Get up and do that thing you want to do in spite of the fear and discomfort. Take the fear with you like a whiny, unwilling toddler and do it anyway. Watch the movie, read the book, order that takeout you’ve been craving, bake the cake, wash the dishes… Please do it anyway! It will be hard at first, I won’t lie. But the OCD part of your brain, like a toxic partner, WANTS to win. It wants you to give up on those things that you love, all those things that make you happy so that there’s no space for anything but itself. Don’t let it win. The more you push yourself, the more you rewire your brain to realize that as much as it may feel like, the obsession doesn’t matter! Thanks to you all, even without therapy (YET - I’m starting that journey on Tuesday because there’s still a lot to unpack, and I know that OCD won’t just magically go away), I was able to get a basic understanding of ERP and learning to sit with discomfort and how to live life in spite of it, rather than letting it take over my very being. So for that, I thank this community. I think I would be in a very different place right now if it weren’t for the people I’ve met here who truly understood my experiences. I hope you have a wonderful day. Please don’t give up. You deserve to be happy, no matter what your brain is telling you ❤️

A reflection I never saw myself being able to write✨ One year ago today, I was spiraling for a second time because I wasn’t sure what was happening to me, again. Getting through it once was doable but twice? I truly thought I was losing my mind. OCD wasn’t just a shadow in the background — it was a loud, relentless voice narrating fear, doubt, and compulsions into every corner of my life. I couldn’t trust my thoughts, couldn’t rest in silence. I was questioning everything. I was exhausted coasting through the motions of life trying to survive every minute of every day. But today — I’m here. Still imperfect, still human, but finally free in a way I didn’t think was possible. I got here by learning the hardest, most empowering lesson of my life: I had to stop depending on anyone else to pull me out. I had to stop outsourcing my safety, my certainty, my worth. I had to become the person I could rely on — not in a cold, lonely way, but in the most solid, liberating way possible. You see, healing didn’t come when others gave me reassurance — it came when I stopped needing it. When I realized no one could fight the war in my mind for me. It had to be me. Not because others didn’t care — but because I had to be the one to stop running from fear. I had to choose courage over comfort, again and again. And boy was that rough. But I did. Through therapy, I retrained my brain. (Shout out to Casey Knight🙏🏼) I stopped dancing to OCD’s obsessive rhythm and started rewriting the song. And yeah — the beat dropped a few times. But I kept moving forward. Slowly, I started turning my mind into a place I wanted to live in. I made it beautiful. Not by forcing positive thoughts, but by planting seeds of truth: 🌱 Not every thought deserves attention. 🌱 Discomfort doesn’t mean danger. 🌱 Uncertainty is not the enemy — it’s just part of being alive. I started treating my mind like a garden instead of a battlefield. I let go of perfection and started watering what was real, what was kind, what was mine. And let’s be honest — there were still a few weeds. (Hello, OCD — always trying to “check in.” ) Because healing isn’t linear, I still have days where I feel back to square one, but it’s a day, not a week, month, or another year of surrendering. But here’s the “punny” truth: OCD tried to check me, but I checked myself — with compassion, courage, & a whole lot of practice. To anyone still caught in the spiral — I want you to know: you are not broken. You don’t need to wait for someone else to save you. No else will. The strength you’re looking for? It’s already in you. It might be buried under fear, doubt, and rumination, but it’s there — patient and unbreakable. Start small. Start scared. Just start. Because when you stop relying on the world to reassure you, and start trusting your own ability to face uncertainty, you get something even better than comfort — you get freedom, resilience, power & SO much more. You don’t have to control every thought/urge to have a beautiful mind. You just have to stop believing every thought/urge is the truth. You don’t have to be fearless , you just have to act in spite of fear. You are not crazy You are not a monster You are not evil You are human You are capable And if OCD ever tries to take over again, just smile and say, “Nice try. But not today.” — Someone who came back to life, one brave thought at a time 🧡