I won against OCD My first post on this app was 740 days ago. I was just starting my freshman year at college. During that time I was meeting a lot of new people and forming new relationships but, I would be hindered by OCD. Many days I wouldn’t show up to class due to high levels of anxiety and constantly giving into compulsions. I ended up having really bad panic attack and had to go to the mental crisis center in my area to seek immediate help. I wouldn’t say I was suicidal but I was in a really dark place and would get those thoughts. After getting out of the mental crisis center I decided I needed to find a therapist who really knew OCD. Many of you in this community may know this but a lot of people don’t understand how hard it is for people like us to find good therapists because most therapists only have a firm grasp on mental illnesses like depression, anxiety and bipolar disorder. Nobody really understands what it’s like to have OCD. After I did find a good therapist it really did change my life, it took tremendous work and at the time I had to sacrifice some schooling in order to get my mental health in check and it did pay off wonderfully. I was so happy and felt in control of my own life for once. Then Covid happened and I relapsed so hard, I am sure many people can relate. My OCD was flaring up constantly and if dealing with that wasn’t enough all the personal stuff that was going on in my life because of this pandemic made it really stressful. I had a friend attempt to commit suicide, I had a girlfriend who cheated on me, a cousin that overdosed on drugs, a grandmother that has dementia and was forgetting who I am. I started drinking and smoking a lot more than usual to deal with all of this shit. But guess what? I pushed through it. What changed? I took ownership over my own life. What this pandemic taught me was that there’s a lot of shit in life you can’t control. I couldn’t control how long things were going to be shut down for and I can’t control my intrusive thoughts, but I still have control over my actions. I let all that shit go. I stopped waiting for someone else to tell me what to do and when to do it and just started making my own schedule. I quit my job, sobered up and left a lot of it in Gods hands honestly. I really didn’t have a plan but I just knew I needed to change and I couldn’t do that by staying in the same situation and seeing the same people. I was alone for quite sometime, all I did was read and workout but that isolation really grounded me. It gave me a deep understanding of who I wanted to be and where I wanted to go. Once I figured that out everything else fell into place. I moved towards my goals and my purpose in life and in the process my sanity came back. My therapist said to me I’ve made some of the most progress out of any patient she ever had and that was 6 months ago the last time I had an appointment with her, because I have officially graduated from therapy! I apologize for the long winded and personal story, maybe a lot of you didn’t even read the whole thing but for those of you that did just know if I could overcome all of these obstacles and overcome my OCD I know you can do it too! It may not be tomorrow, next month, or even next year but if you stay in treatment, surround yourself with the right people, and stop waiting for someone to give you direction and purpose and go live the life you want too live I guarantee you that you will succeed and get better. I’m not sure when’s the next time I’ll be posting on this app, So till then do as the great Tupac Shakur says and “Keep Ya Head Up”