I feel like I've been faking my attraction to women my whole life. I have no idea what is a real feeling anymore and what is real. I don't know how to keep doing this because everything feels backwords and I can't just ignore it. It feels like I'm not attracted to my gf now and feels like Im attracted to almost every guy. Idk whats real. I've always been so in my head about everything my whole life, how do I know what has been real attraction or just me convincing myself?

Hey, I’ve been where you are at. Actually, I’m still there but it’s gotta better. I suffer with rocd and soocd too and you need to force yourself to tell yourself “maybe that’s, maybe it’s not” it’s so hard to do because you don’t want it to be real. I still have my intrusive thoughts but my anxiety has gotten better since I’ve been constantly telling myself that. You can’t show fear to your unwanted thoughts.

It's tough, I feel good some days where idc and I know I like women again but then some days I feel the opposite and anxious. I've gotten better but it keeps bringing me back because I keep feeling weird with my feelings towards guys and a lot of the time I feel literally nothing around women and idk what's real or not. I'll try to not care but it's hard as hell when I want to feel things for my gf again

I feel the exact same way but reversed. I feel like all my crushes on guys were fake. And I don't know if how I felt was actually a crush.

I feel the same. Except opposite. It feels like I’m attracted to any girl that walks by and that I would be okay or like kissing them. A lot of the times it doesn’t feel like I’m attracted to my bf even though I know he’s very attractive. Though we are in a long distance relationship. But still. And I wonder if any of my crushes in the past were even real. Idk. Just too much to think about and it’s honestly sad. I really thought my boyfriend was the one before all of this.

I felt the same way about my gf, then I started trying to find problems and fixing them before they started. I had bad relationships in the past and I think I've been self sabotaging. Every bad relationship just made my attractions less and less

Will it get better ? I’m struggling with this to, and I just want my relationship back with my bf

I think what’s interesting from this thread is we all more or less got this theme when we entered really serious and amazing relationships, that’s when mine started too. First with ROCD then SOOCD. My relationship ended for other reasons and my spiked hard, started NOCD and I’ve been doing better so far. Themes with more physical compulsions were so much easier to me, like health ocd which I had for 2-3 years.

Oh yeah for sure! My religious and existential ocd was terrible but I’d go back to that in a heart beat. This one feels so real and has so many more triggers. At least for me. Because I use to be able to distract myself with shows or hanging out with friends. Now it’s easier to do that after ERP but it’s not the same because of the intrusive thoughts.