Why do I get this strong feeling: that I’m gonna sabotage myself, my life, and my family by doing what I fear most and something bad is gonna happen and that I’m gonna cause it? Why? My fears are harm related and I also have false memory

Can it feel like you literally remember a false memory happening? And it feels like the memory has always been there and you vividly remember it happening that way? Because I don’t even know if I’m experiencing a false memory or not but god it feels so fucking real. Like I literally remember it happening. But what’s weird is the original memory was kind of different. 2 years later, the memory is not the same, but it feels like I literally remember it happening. And in this memory, I’m fucking snapping. I’m acting on my thoughts. I feel like a fucking psycho. I hope this is just OCD

I’m reaching out for educational and self-awareness purposes, hoping to better understand something I’ve been mentally struggling with for several years. Around five years ago, I began having a deeply distressing memory involving the fear that I may have acted inappropriately toward my younger sister when I was around 13–14 years old. The details are vague, fragmented, and unclear—but ever since this thought first appeared, I’ve treated it as if it were a real event. I’ve carried immense guilt, fear, and anxiety for years, convinced that I must have done something horrible. Despite asking my sister (who remembers absolutely nothing, has never shown signs of discomfort, and has told me more than once that she would’ve spoken up if anything had happened), the doubt and guilt never went away. The memory feels real, yet there is no external confirmation, no direct recall, and no evidence beyond my own mental images and fear. I’ve also struggled with obsessive thoughts in other areas, such as health anxiety since childhood—frequent doctor visits, checking my pulse, obsessing over illness—and only recently learned about false memory OCD, which aligns with my experience. I’m not currently seeking therapy but would greatly appreciate your professional opinion from an educational perspective: Does this sound more like a real memory, or more likely a false memory created by OCD or anxiety-related mechanisms I am stuck between a normal person or a s*xual abuser

Same theme of harming my family member in a similar way the details what I said and what was shown to them and the environment around me but that’s all I can get it’s hard to focus on the environment only what I said and what I did. This memory keeps coming up and leaving its instant. They seem to be ok the one in question I also don’t have a timeline if I harmed them no timeline like I did it this time or I don’t remember. I don’t rmemenr actually ever doing this. I felt like a creep because this woman days ago made me feel like one I internalized that and now my mind has been picking up thoughts or “memories” of harming my family member but I can’t ever rmemenr doing anything like that plus the dream or “memory” when I had it was in another state years ago but it only came up now.