First time poster. If anybody can help, I'd really appreciate it. I'm terrified I did something very wrong over 30 years ago and hurt someone. I never thought about this until 2020 when I had an OCD episode which resulted in me checking my past to make sure there was nothing I had forgotten. At first different scenarios cam e to mind about which I obsessed over for many months to see if I had done any of these things. I finally managed to move on but then earlier this year, it was triggered again. More thinking followed and I suddenly got this new memory of doing something awful to someone. I say memory, it was more like a snap shot. Months later, I'm still really struggling. The thing that I keep telling myself is that I would have remembered before if this was true. Surely, it would have popped into my memory over the years and bothered me, especially as I have had other false memories (I hope) along the same theme over the years. It's just horrible. I am waiting for therapy but I still have a couple more months for it to start. If anybody can help, I'd really appreciate it.

Anonymous

Date posted: 3y

Thank you aswell I’m here for a message anytime

Anonymous

Date posted: 3y

I have false memories and intrusive images connected to those false memories that’s the scariest part because you have a picture or a little snippet in your head that keeps playing and playing and the more you think about it the more detailed it becomes. It’s the worst theme I’ve had to deal with in my ocd life best piece of advice I can give you is accept the thought just say to yourself sure ocd whatever you say don’t try and fight it and wonder why or how it couldn’t have happened because you will never win. Even say to yourself I choose to believe this is my ocd and when the thought comes you just say sureee ocd whatever you say the more you feel like the thought means somthing the more it’s going to be there just stick to your guns and keep trying hard we will all get over this horrible thing that is ocd

lesley68

Date posted: 3y

Thank you so much for replying. It really is hell isn't it. I try really hard to dismiss it as ocd but then I'll get a feeling or memory from around that time and I'm 'remembering' feeling worried/guilty so that proves I did it. If I did do it, why haven't I ever thought about it during the last 30 odd years? It just doesn't make sense.

lesley68

Date posted: 3y

I also think " I know I have ocd but maybe this time it's real".

Anonymous

Date posted: 3y

Everybody thinks that I think that aswell maybe this time it’s real the main thing you need to focus on is stop trying to get rid of the thoughts by saying I know If I done it because I would have thought about it before now because that is a compulsion and it’s only giving your thought more strength instead try say sure ocd whatever you say in a sarcastic kinda way laugh at it hahaha very funny ocd that’s a good one because the more you panick when you have the thought the more your brain thinks this must mean somthing. I wish I knew this when my false memories first started because I could have controlled them a lot more I’ve ruminated so much about mine that I’ve made a hole story up in my head about how I have committed this terrible crime but I’m trying the same methods I’m telling you to try Ive not long started so I’m hoping this is the start to recovery

alittleapple

Date posted: 3y

Yup same here

lesley68

Date posted: 3y

I really feel for you. It sounds like you're doing really well in out manoeuvering this awful illness, I'mreally impressed and you give me hope x thank you so much for sharing this with me. If I can be of any help to you, please feel free to message me x

Anonymous

Date posted: 3y

False memory ocd is one of the worst themes of ocd so just think if you can make it threw this we can make it threw any type that out ocd throws at us

maybe_maybenot

Date posted: 3y

You may have PTSD. Abusing someone and remembering it later can be pretty traumatic and scary. The flashbacks may be repressed memories resurfacing. Whether or not these things actually happened, the thought that they might have can be really scary, but in neither case is it an indication of something deeper, darker in you. You may have some trauma to work through and process, or you may have some false memories to work through, but either way, you get to choose moving forward how you treat other people and reduce the chance that you'll harm anyone by working on being aware of yourself and your own morals and values.

Anonymous

Date posted: 3y

It started in my relationship what if I cheated on my girlfriend and I would think of situations of me cheating and then believe them and have to tell my girlfriend to get relief even message the girls to ask if I had done anything like that with them of course the answer was always no but then one day I seen a news article of someone who was murdered close to me and I thought what if that was me and I went threw everything I done that day and resided it couldn’t possibly be me so my thought went to what if I murdered a boy I knew that had died 8 years ago that I knew he died from a drug overdose the thought went to what if I spiked him with the drugs I would’ve only been 15 at this point but that thought went on for months untill I felt like I was getting better then I had the thought what if I killed somone when I was on holiday and I imagined me killing a woman on holiday with a knife and I couldn’t shake it so I looked up woman murdered in kavos the place that I was and I seen there was a woman who was found dead on a island 600 miles away and the thought went to what if that was me what if I pushed her I went threw so many things that prove it couldn’t be me but my mind made up ways that it could be I think what if I got a private jet over and back to make it in time for when I was back with my friends and they would have never knew. There’s been other thoughts aswell there was a boy that had died not too long ago that I knew aswell and it was a drug overdose but I wasn’t exactly sure how so my mind made up what if I put the needle on him and enjected him but I found out it wasn’t that atall and it couldn’t have been me so the thought disappeared so quick

scrambled

Date posted: 21w

false memory or repressed memory?

How do you know the difference :( I genuinely cannot keep living in this torment. it all started with an ‘intrusive thought’ where I had like a hazy flash of something reading an article. and I remember thinking ‘what if’ and ‘what is this’ and then that intrusive thought turned into me ‘remembering’ something else. which caused me panic. then I started trying to find evidence because it contradicted what I remembered this entire time. this was last year in like september. fast forward to march this year, it came back up- but this time stronger and with more ‘details’ and what nots. and I’ve been ruminating on it since then trying to remember and connect and It’s like I’ve added all of these details. but are they real? or is this just my OCD? I just feel like if it were real I would have never been able to keep it to myself. but also what if it was so traumatic that I blocked it out? because it all makes NO sense for me to do something like that. but it also fits what I was thinking at the time. idk

Anonymous

Date posted: 21w

Real event or false memories

I’m reaching out for educational and self-awareness purposes, hoping to better understand something I’ve been mentally struggling with for several years. Around five years ago, I began having a deeply distressing memory involving the fear that I may have acted inappropriately toward my younger sister when I was around 13–14 years old. The details are vague, fragmented, and unclear—but ever since this thought first appeared, I’ve treated it as if it were a real event. I’ve carried immense guilt, fear, and anxiety for years, convinced that I must have done something horrible. Despite asking my sister (who remembers absolutely nothing, has never shown signs of discomfort, and has told me more than once that she would’ve spoken up if anything had happened), the doubt and guilt never went away. The memory feels real, yet there is no external confirmation, no direct recall, and no evidence beyond my own mental images and fear. I’ve also struggled with obsessive thoughts in other areas, such as health anxiety since childhood—frequent doctor visits, checking my pulse, obsessing over illness—and only recently learned about false memory OCD, which aligns with my experience. I’m not currently seeking therapy but would greatly appreciate your professional opinion from an educational perspective: Does this sound more like a real memory, or more likely a false memory created by OCD or anxiety-related mechanisms I am stuck between a normal person or a s*xual abuser

strike1207

Date posted: 16w

Can someone please help. I’m struggling.

I have had the same false memory/instrusive image of me doing something horrible to someone when I was 12 and they were younger. It is a memory based on a real event. I truly don’t know if it’s real or not but obviously, the more I think about it the more I think it’s true. This has led my mind to become slightly paranoid. I worry that if this horrible image in my head is true then one day the person I might have hurt will come and k*ll me. I’m really scared I feel like I won’t feel better as long as this “memory” is in my head. Does anyone have advice?

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