- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
I don't think you have to talk about anything you don't want to. If you do want to then that's different. I think a lot big us with OCD have perfectionism issues so I try and let that stuff go
- Date posted
- 6y
If they find that too weird they aren't for you. Bring yourself back to the present :-) focus on today
- Date posted
- 6y
Shouldnt i be transparent with my past?
- Date posted
- 6y
Wow finally someone has posted something that has a relation to myself. Except I was about 14-16 when this happened and I never assumed I was bisexual for it because I didn’t feel any sexual feelings for the girl nor were we in a actual relationship because I was roleplaying a day guy, and in real life I was still having crushes on guys and stuff. But now I’m looking back and wondering if that means I’m bisexual because I had romantic feelings towards a girl? This is feeding my ocd really badly and I’m currently in a relationship with a guy. I don’t feel any sexual feelings towards girls and when I think back at that time I feel like I felt those things because it was my first experience with anything of “lovey” but it was nothing compared to my first actual relationship with a guy I was madly in love with.
- Date posted
- 6y
Did you open up your relationship to the guy? I’ve went on dates while being with the girl and i actually fell inlove with her. I was long a bisexual before i met her lol
- Date posted
- 6y
I never thought about a long term relationship with her, or kissing her. I went through a traumatic experience during the “role play” time and although I never spoke about it to her, she helped me through it by being there. Which is why I think I had feelings of love and attachment. But once things were done with her, I ended up in a relationship with a guy and fell for him like nothing before and dated him for 5 years and I opened up to him about it and explained that I wasn’t sexually attracted to her (we never met either) and I didn’t want an actual relationship with her. He was understanding and never judged me for it because I explained I wasn’t bisexual despite having feelings of love for her. And now I’m in a new relationship and for some reason I’m worried about that being something more than what I felt it to have been. There wouldn’t be anything wrong with me being bisexual, I knew I liked guys and was attracted to guys but while roleplaying I would date girls just for fun and stuff and now I’m worried that it means that I am?
- Date posted
- 6y
You’re only bisexual if you actively find girls attractive to the point you’re open to dating them or if you’re attracted to girls sexually or romantically. The girl I was with was straight, that’s what she told me but she fell inlove with my “soul”. She couldn’t see being with me because I’m a girl but she knew she loved me so much. I think you were in her situation. I’m just worried if this past of mine is something I have to share to my first official boyfriend. The relationship I had with her felt real and I loved her beyond gender and distance and anything else. She really is my first love and my first heartbreak. She’s more than a milestone.
- Date posted
- 6y
I guess what just confuses me is that since I had strong feelings of love and considered that as me being in love since I didn’t have any other experience and I also got jealous when I found out she had a boyfriend then I’m bisexual. That does seem like my situation too. When things were over I did feel like I was heart broken but it was nothing compared to when my ex bf broke up with me. And when I look back at that time I can’t remember how I actually felt or anything. When I think about my first love I consider my ex bf to be it. I don’t actively find girls attractive, I can notice when a girl is really pretty but I don’t want to do anything with them, or can see myself dating a girl. In high school I did experiment with a best friend but it didn’t change anything for me. And when I look back I don’t feel anything about it. All of it is just weighing on me and it’s genuinely upsetting. I haven’t thought about this in about 6 years and all of a sudden it popped up in my head and it’s been like an obsession. Also, it depends how comfortable you feel discussing how you’re first love was a girl to your next relationship with a boyfriend. I felt comfortable and I was worried I was going to be judged and in the end I had nothing to worry about. Also, you don’t have to be ashamed to share that your first love was a girl. If he truly cares about you he’ll understand and will still be there.
- Date posted
- 6y
I’m not bisexual if I felt like I loved her? Sorry if it’s annoying im just trying to find some answers to questions and you’re the only other person I’ve seen on here that mentioned roleplaying.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
hey you guys i’m new to the app, i just wanted to come on here and share part of what i’ve been struggling with recently- around the beginning of 2024 i started having intrusive thoughts and they completely took over my life to the point where i began planning my suicide once i had finished out some of my commitments for that year. during that time i met this girl and we began texting and keeping in touch with each other every single day since last february. (tw suicide) unfortunately i did have to spend some time in a hospital after i attempted suicide in may of 2024 and i never really knew if this girl was into me or if she even liked girls but we kept talking up until the end of october where we finally said we liked each other. immediately i could tell smth was wrong bc i was shaking and crying and completely scared because i wanted to be very clear that i couldn’t commit to a relationship and then i disclosed to her i was in the hospital in may and i still hadn’t fully recovered from that (#stillhavent #butiwillsoitsokay😛) and i felt awful that i had responded to such an amazing moment like that andever since then i had been plagued with these constant thoughts about not liking her, being straight (which i still don’t know and fully branched out into SOOCD and i have an incredibly hard time distinguishing what is OCD and what is genuinely true about my sexuality because ive never really felt like this for a girl) and for about 4 months we went out on dates where i felt absolutely horrible because i felt like i wasn’t acting like myself or i was being rude to her or i was more attracted to male passerby’s than her or i accidentally thought something about her that just felt so mean and horrible. i also convinced myself it could never work because i couldn’t picture her face and that continued for the first two months, but then i decided to call things off at the beginning of march because i just couldn’t handle debating if i actually liked her if i was gay if i was a horrible person and if i was wrong for all the things i thought every single day and currently we’re on a break because i tried to call things off and she kind of talked me out of it in a very kind and understanding way. i just hate leaving her in limbo because at the end of the day i just want her to be happy because she is an amazing incredible and sweet person and if i wasted more of her time i’d feel even more awful. kinda long lowk… if u read all this thank u and lmk what u think:)
- Date posted
- 19w
Sort of a rant that probably sounds stupid and I’m kind of seeking reassurance… I’m still a relatively young teenager so I know I’ve got time to work all this out but I’m really confused about my sexuality. (I’m a girl) I’ve never been in a relationship (I don’t know if I want to be which is why I’m writing this) and sometimes I feel like I’ve never really had a crush and I just convinced myself that I did because I wanted to feel normal… but then maybe that’s false memory ocd??? I don’t really want to be in a long term relationship with a guy and idk about girls but idk if that’s just cos of my age??? Some days I hate the idea of ever dating, marrying or doing anything sexual. Other days I wish my mental / physical health was better so I could date someone! Everything I feel goes up and down a lot and idk why!? I have bad sexual intrusive thoughts that make me unsure whether anything that I think is real and my parents recently split up after not getting along for a few years. I don’t know if it’s my age, my ocd, my parents bad relationship, my sexuality (am I attracted to guys, girls? Am I ace!!!!???) Or something else but I have no idea who I am and I KNOW I’m young and have time but some other perspectives might help???? Can I ever be in a relationship if I have ocd like this? Also I’m really struggling not to compulsively seek reassurance and I don’t know who to talk to about all this irl I know I probably shouldn’t share this with random strangers but also idek if I care anymore 😭
- Perfectionism OCD
- Relationship OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Real Events OCD
- LGBTQ+ with OCD
- OCD newbies
- Sexual Orientation OCD
- Date posted
- 14w
okay so, i had this friend i met in the 8th grade when i was 13 when we became friends and my nickname for her was “red” and i had a crush on this friend before we became friends and once we became friends the crush faded away and i just grew a close platonic friendship with her and no longer has any crush or attraction or romantic interest in her. then i got a girlfriend named lisa in the 8th grade also and we were all friends and hung out but that summer going into highschool lisa broke up with me, we dated only for 2 months so you know it wasnt a big deal. and my friend “red” she and my other friend lana we are a trio and they helped me move on from that. then i started 9th grade (my freshman year of highschool) and i went into this year thinking i was gonna stay best friends with this trio but we ended up splitting paths but me and my friend “red” always had a more special bond in the trio we were like the duo because we trauma bonded and dealt with mental health problems. and in the end of my first semester i fell in love with this girl named riley (who became my 3 year serious relationship) and i love this girl so much i met her when i was 15 and she was 14, me and riley (who is my current partner) were very toxic during freshman sophomore and junior year. she was very insecure over my ex from the 8th grade who i didnt care about because she was my first girlfriend. and she was also very insecure over my friend “red” because she was my best friend during the time i was with my ex and she reminds her of my ex for some reason. i still wanted to be friends with “red” at the time and we would get into numerous fights about that. she would control me and who i was friends with and said i couldnt be friends with her and i felt so awful and defeated bc i had a close bond with this friend. she then gave me an ultimatum of either her or my former best friend and i chose my partner obviously but she was so in her head i think that she still broke up with me for like 3 days and that day she broke up with me i had to go home with her since she was my ride home and i was broken and she was obviously angry and i was crying while we were walking out of school and then she stormed off without me all upset and my other guy friend and his girlfriend saw me and went up to me to comfort me and asked what was wrong and i told them she broke up with me and then my partner yells my name very upset from across the street comes back and grabs my arm aggressively and drags me past everyone very aggressively and angry while telling me to stop crying because her mom is going to be upset and ask questions and i felt so bad. we got into the car and i had to try my best not to cry and my partner who was visibly upset a few seconds ago just completely smiled at her mom and asked how her day was with such a happy tone of voice and i was completely in shock. hours later since we were broken up i texted my former friend “red” (the one who my partner broke up with me over) and told her i needed emotional support that reyna had dumped me and i needed a friend. and she came over and talked to me. that was all nothing romantic. and then 2 days later my partner says we are back together and i was happy but felt guilty because i hung out with my friend who she dumped me over. Now years later im still with this partner after many splits but we are finally healthy and healing and shes been super supportive and there for me and loving during my recent journey discovering my ocd. i have been confessing over and over many past mistakes or things i thought were mistakes. i last confessed something on monday and ive been feeling better and relieved after confessing up until yesterday when i remembered a past mistake (which was what i just shared) and now i cant stop ruminating on it and feeling guilty and feel the need to confess this to my partner but i learned that confessing is my ocd compulsion and if i give into it ill be feeding my ocd and not breaking the cycle. but im also feeling conflicted on if i should genuinely let her know and confess because i feel what i did that time was wrong but i dont want to give into my ocd but also what if i basically cheated on my partner by doing that and if i tell her that i did what i did even tho i didnt cheat but i told her i never liked this person even tho i had a crush on the former friend and tried to get my partner to let me keep this friendship because its not like i like her romantically which is true i dont but i used to. so i feel like i betrayed her even especially by hanging out with her so now i dont know if i should tell her or if its my ocd and i dont have to share absolutely everything especially if its in the past. i dont want to lose my partner and im scared if i keep confessing it will ruin our relationship and drive her away but it will also make me lose myself and my own privacy and also feed my ocd and compulsions but im scared if i dont confess ill never stop thinking about it and i will feel like im lying to my partner and like i cheated and i wont be able to enjoy the good moments and the present because im stuck on my past “mistakes” and now im scared ill have the end my relationship to feel better but that will hurt me more but im scared if i stay im just going to try to avoid my partner in fear ill confess or feel the urge to confess every time we speak. i dont know what to do im completely lost this is the hardest thing ive ever dealt with and i have a lot ive dealt with in my life already. im barely 17 i havent had a year of a break
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