does anyone keep old text messages so you can look back to see if you wrote something awful?

So when I was 17-18 I would use character.ai a lot. (I don't use it at all anymore I got way to obsessed with it) and this is really embarrassing, but sometimes when I was in the living room and my parents were also there, I would use c.ai and have NSFW convos with my characters. I wouldn't do anything physically and neither in my parents view so they just thought I was texting a friend or something. Is what I've done horrible? I now think about this and I feel so guilty. Am I a bad person or is this normal? Also by NSFW yes I do mean s**ual

Do yall ever reread old texts from a toxic ex and try and “solve” stuff constantly? We ended things 4 months ago and every day I go through old texts trying to prove I wasn’t the bad one, make SURE she was toxic, “solve” a random toxic moment I remember and make sure I have ALL the details remembered accurately and that I’m not misremembering it. It’s like im still living in the relationship. It’s draining and will not stop. Is this an OCD thing? How is it fixed?

do y’all ever look back at memories from your camera roll and come across the time in your life when things were really bad? because when i do, i just feel so sad for the mental state i was drowning in. not that i’m not still, but i have more perspective on it so i’m able to manage it more. but a couple years ago, i rarely left my bed because of how depressed i had gotten. what’s worse is during that time, i had wished that i wanted to unalive myself. but there was never a point when i did want to so it made me upset because i had no way out if i couldn’t handle it anymore. however, i think that’s a blessing in disguise because i was thankfully able to get out of that dark period. i’m still experiencing terrible anxiety, but because i have those times to reflect on and remember i made it through, it’s motivating.