Ok so I seriously need some help here: I haven’t received the help that I need but I have done a ton of research and have a great understanding of intrusive thoughts and what they do and do not say about us as a person. My themes have varied from POCD, HOCD and ROCD. I have been terrified of losing control, prison and anything in between. Lately, I have been hyper-focused on the story of Gabby Petito. Like I do somehow do that very thing to my significant other. Even though I have no “urge” to hurt them, or desire to, I somehow believe it is my intention and my capabilities. It’s tearing me apart. Due to all of this? I have contemplated suicide, I have had thoughts about not being around anymore. And yes, all my thoughts center around, “well How do I know for sure they don’t mean anything about my true self or my true intentions?” Any help would be appreciated, even if it’s reassurance at this point.

Cesar

Date posted: 4y

Hi, your struggle is serious and I have been there. Seek therapy, it saved me. Seek God your heavenly Father, He saved me. I also contemplated briefly not being here, and suicide ran through my mind, I felt hopeless and like I was a criminal with harmful thoughts.. turns out it was ocd haha. As soon as I didn't pay attention to those thoughts they went away, they jumped to another theme but that's how ocd works, when you don't care about some thoughts then they switch to others, the key is to not care about those thoughts, the less you react the less frequent they are thrown at you by your brain. Your life is so precious and you never know what blessins are on their way, Seek help. God loves you and He's always with you. God bless

Jeffrey

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 4y

I am sorry that you are having such a difficult time. I know it is hard to do, but try to sit with the anxiety and don’t do any compulsions. Allow the thoughts to be there and not argue with them. Have you had ERP therapy ?

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

Hi there. I haven’t. My insurance doesn’t cover NOCD and I haven’t found a therapist who treats OCD, so I think my symptoms have gotten worse on their own

Jeffrey

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 4y

I am sorry. I would recommend you google Nathan Peterson. He is an ocd specialist and he has a lot of free videos on YouTube. But reassurance is only going to make the ocd stronger so don’t seek reassurance. It is hard and it is painful at times but when you want to seek it remind yourself it will feel good temporarily. I am also happy to chat on this formul with you.

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

Yes and I “know” all of these things, however, it is hard. I feel like I am living in constant distress. I feel like I’m trapped in my mind and all of the things it is telling me. I’d love to chat on here. Can you share your experience with me.

Jeffrey

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 4y

Sure I can. I have had ocd for 40 or more years and the themes have been mostly real event, harm, pedophelia ocd. I have had many years of therapy but when I came to NOCD and did erp therapy I felt a huge difference. I am now able to coexist along with my ocd because I know that ocd is a false alarm in my brain. Through erp I have taught myslef that when an intrusive thought comes in I react with a maybe maybe not response. Or I say something like well that’s interesting. And sometimes I will take the thought and do a worst case scenario approach. Like if I have a harm ocd I agree with the ocd - oh yeah I am going to do this and if that doesn’t satisfy me I will do even worse. I know it sounds silly to agree and make it worse but it has worked for me. Because the ocd has nowhere to go at that point.

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

@Jeffrey Thank you for sharing. Through my reading, this is what I have learned about erp. I have been tempted to try doing it on my own . How long did it take you to see relief from your thoughts? I’m willing to do the work, I also want to have realistic expectations.

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

@Jeffrey And also, with the maybe/maybe not response. I was told that in itself could turn into a compulsion. Do you internally say that to yourself when you notice yourself ruminating and then continue doing what you’re doing?

Jeffrey

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 4y

@Anonymous You’re welcome. I got relief about a month into it and I am still working at it. I had not heard about maybe maybe not being a compulsion. If an intrusive thought comes in i will use maybe maybe not.

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