- Date posted
- 3y ago
- Date posted
- 3y ago
The last few days I’ve been feeling as if maybe I want it and I’m just rejecting what I really want. But if someone were to come up to right now and take this all awyay from me I’d be so happy
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I really empathize with you as I have both themes, but I am a woman. My OCD has tried to convince me that I need to leave my husband and be with women, even though I know I have no desire to do that. I believe I am in denial and just living a lie with my husband. I questions if I ever really liked men. Then I question if I am bi then it goes back to straight, lesbian, bi and back again 🤣 It truly is a mind f***. Just know you aren't alone.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Yep that’s exactly it. I have had no time in my life where I’ve wanted to be with a man or even contemplated it. I feel like I’ve spent so long obsessing over it with HOCD that the prospect has become inevitable I feel as if I had no choice anymore. It has completely diminished by attraction to women because I have become derealised through the compulsive checking. I can’t even look a man in the eye anymore because I fear I’ll ‘fall in love’ or want to “be with them sexually.” Somedays I’m convinced I do and then every now and then I get a glimmer of hope that I don’t have to leave the women I love and then it’s stolen from me again. But as I right all of this I’m consumed with the feeling of denial
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I feel the same way. I’m so tired and want to go back to my old self. I’ve been this way for about a month now and it’s torture. I miss the old days when I could wake up in the morning and go about my day as a normal person. Instead now I woke up to the instant thought of “am I gay” and the rumination instantly begins all. Day. Long.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I’ve even started questioning whether or not I’ve ever been sexually satisfied and now I’m consumed by this notion that my level of satisfaction isn’t enough? But I want it to be, and I think it is but how could I ever know without trying but I don’t want to have to try being with a man
- Date posted
- 3y ago
We will never know. Hopefully therapy will help with this. How did yours begin? Mine began with a Tik tok of a woman who was engaged but then called it off because she decided she was bi.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Mine actuallt started with it being purely relationship based OCD and questioning my love for my partner etc… one day I was watching tv and someone mentioned they were gay. And it was literally just hearing that word that started this obsession off.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Yes, mine started off as relationship anxiety then I got the thought "I like girls" randomly one day and then it was relationship ocd and hocd in one. I've even had intrusive thoughts about my husband being gay 🤦
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 16w ago
I’ve had so many moments of clarity with my OCD that I love my boyfriend and I’m beyond willing to go through this to be better and be with him. in the back of mind I’ve in a way known I was at least somewhat sexually attracted to women (I’m a woman) since the start of the ocd it was always like “okay. Fine, but I don’t want to date a girl” I only just realized this after the ocd started, I never really argued with this. my ocd has always revolved around if I’m romantically interested in women and not men. I’ve done so many compulsions through this year and a half and 9 times out of 10 have come to the conclusion that I don’t want to be with a woman romantically. I always end up feeling like I know I love my boyfriend. But the doubts don’t stop about whether I want to spend my life with a woman instead, my heart literally breaks to think of not being with my bf and imagining him with someone else. I don’t want to be with a woman I know deep down somewhere underneath the anxiety that that’s not what I want. It doesn’t feel natural for me, unfulfilling. I want to tell my boyfriend about the possible sexual attraction to women (ik it’s still ocd related) but I’m scared that once I tell him, I’ll realize that I actually do want to be with women and not with him. Ugh I’ve spent hours today ruminating about this after being solid in my commitment with him for a little while, I’m stuck in this loop and idk how to get out right now
- Date posted
- 13w ago
I’m 25 and never ever thought this before my soocd relapse. I have a bf of 5 years. Never been a high libido kinda girl. Don’t get me wrong I do get turned on by my bf but not like every day you know? - That had always been in the back of my head, is this normal and ok? But my ocd has latched onto the most scariest what if EVER. My brain is now saying How do you know you won’t prefer to sleep and kiss girls if you haven’t tried it: and it’s that unknown that is scaring the shit out of me. I DONT AND NEVER HAVE wanted to sleep / kiss a girl. But now my intrusive thoughts is all I think about!!! I don’t want I don’t want I don’t want??? So why does my brain think BUT WHAT IF??? I know ocd thrives off uncertainty which is why I think this is happening? But I don’t wanna find out or work it out because all I want is to be with my bf and marry him!! Is this just the epitome of OCD?
- Mid-life adults with OCD
- "Pure" OCD
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- Relationship OCD
- Sexual Orientation OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Date posted
- 11w ago
Hello, I unknowingly have lived with ROCD or OCD (not sure what one. I’m new to this). It has ruined so many amazing romantic and platonic relationships and I am so sad that just now I am finding out what the hell is wrong with me. Maybe life would be different if I have known. My OCD and anxiety is at an all time high (ATH) due to some horrible events that have happened in the recent months. I am at the point where paranoia has taken over my life now. I had my first panic attack a few weeks ago where I fainted. My anxiety attacks are so extreme I go thought cognitive distortion that has lasted days. My girlfriend of 3 years is my emotional guardian and she no long has the energy to be that and honestly it’s not her responsibility to be that. She is bi and wanted to have an open relationship and for someone who has OCD this has not been good for me. She also was assaulted in my own home by a good friend of ours when I was out of town but it’s not a clear situation because it sounded consensual at first. I just left my very high paying job. I am financially secure but the job was emotionally abusive and looking back made my OCD worse. I am taking some time off to get my head right…but now, all I have to do during the day is live in my OCD. I’m very happy I finally figured out why I act the way I do but I don’t know if I can get better quick enough to save my relationship. I have never been so worried about myself (M 28 years old). I am a confident young professional and never thought I would be writing on a page like this. Anyway…I hope it gets better.
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