- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Comment deleted by user
- Date posted
- 3y
Thats how I feel too, like the real me is deep down somewhere in my mind but I just cant get to him. Hence why I said i lost my identity cuz I cant recognize who I am anymore, I dont know what I should be doing or thinking besides my obssession. But I also accepted that Im gay bc It felt like it, dosent that mean I was not afraid of losing myself?
- Date posted
- 3y
@threepartsocdsufferer I dont even know anymore haha but thinking abkut being gay or realizing it gave me anxiety for over a year everyday so Idkš¤·
Related posts
- Date posted
- 18w
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now theyāre just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself itās two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself itās alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if itās just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but itās confusing. On top of that Iāve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like Iād be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk Iāve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that Iām straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
- Date posted
- 13w
Iāve completely lost myself. I canāt focus on my studies, I canāt go to the gym. Dang it I canāt even be around my male friends normally anymore. I got no idea why or how this happened but the only thing I know for sure is that I never questioned my sexuality neither doubted it. I never cared in general. I just liked girls. I keep testing and keep testing and keep testing my arousal but no matter how many times I see but I donāt feel the same way for guys that I do with girls my mind will always try to make me believe that I am gay. Itās like itās forcing me into an identity I never asked for. But at the end of the day like my psychologist told me. Sexuality doesnāt change. So since I never felt anything for guys in my life itās ocd. Iāve been up and down for 5 months now and while the last week I was feeling way better. Monday now and Iām back to zero. I just want to go back when everything was normal. I canāt keep living with this.
- Date posted
- 12w
Like I canāt think straight. This is making me doubt everything Iāve thought about myself and even makes me feel like I like the thoughts when I know I donāt. Like I would be less anxious at a time while I still have the thoughts and my mind would go āoh so you like it you must be gayā or the other one where Iām not anxious and I think of my attraction for girls that Iāve had my whole life and my mind goes āsee now youāre not into them youāre gayā like itās so stupid but so effective. I clearly remember being into girls my whole life but my mind is making me believe that all these attractions and feelings for women were all fake or āa thing of the pastā. But I can still get aroused by women but I have this weird anxiety going on which brings these sensations/feelings and itās so weird. Today Iāve spent my whole day thinking about it like Iāve been doing for 5 months now. I know that this aint normal but my mind just wonāt let me live in peace. I never cared about my sexuality cuz I simply liked women my whole life but now my sexuality is a fundamental philosophy. I hate this.
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