Idk why it’s making me feel like I want to check out kids so much like it’s weird before I was sure that I want that or even wanted to and now it feels like I want to :( and then my mind says stuff making it feel like it’s my mind coming up with those disgusting thoughts and they feel real like automatic like it’s my mind I feel so bad bc it feels like arousal too 😭

Just stop questioning, checking, etc. and just relax. There’s nothing more to it. Just breath and do something you enjoy. You don’t need any reassurance, that only makes it worse. All you need to do is accept your thoughts and let that be that. You’re ok. ❤️

It just feels like it’s me now :( , only thing I can do is listen to music rn

@kathernyr It never is. I say that with full confidence. I know who you are. And who you are is one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met. ❤️

@BlueMountain 🥲🥲 thank you idk if I deserve to be called that 😭😭😭🥺 like I feel like a bad person but thank you ❤️🥺 how can you be so sure ? I’m really just doubting everything

@kathernyr It’s ok to not feel sure. In fact it is very encouraged to not feel sure about anything! You don’t need all the answers. The thing that’s making you miserable is that you feel like you need all the answers to if you’re feeling one way or another. Feelings don’t need answers or explanations. And having them doesn’t make you a bad person. No matter what. You are an amazing person and I just know it from talking with you! 😊❤️

@BlueMountain Thank you 🥲 it’s so hard, I’m having more thoughts abt the future that if I’m so used to the thoughts I’ll act on them and have thoughts that intentional and not intrusive.. :/ I just don’t want to feel this when I’m around kids. Like feeling I want to do something to them ikk kinda scared bc idk what’s going to happen if I’m alone with one and I just keep thinking abt my abuser of it I just hate it all

@kathernyr You’re not the only one with this problem. You just need to breath, accept your thoughts and fears, don’t do compulsions, and don’t seek reassurance. This will get better, I promise!

@BlueMountain It’s so hard 😭 cause now it’s making me say stuff in my like “ I like their thighs” and such it’s just so specific and detailed 😭 it just popped up rn and it feels like I’m aroused which I hate like if I actually like it and agree with it

@kathernyr Don’t fight it. Just have the thought and let that be that. So what if you like it? So what if you hate it? It doesn’t matter. And it’s important to keep that in mind.

Didnt*