Today i decided to open with a therapist about my suspect of ocd. I've been suffering with hocd and pocd for about a lot of months and I went to see a therapist of my school, but when I was there i discovered he was a psychoanalyst, but even though I decided to continue. Now I'm feeling worse, he said that what I have are desires and he totally ignored everything that I've told him, saying that "ocd" is a form of rationalization and that what I need to do is to pray when these thoughts comes to mind and avoid some places, which i see as an increasing of the compulsions. I'm feeling really bad now.

As some of you might very seen from my (spam) posts about my situation I'm not diagnosed with ocd but I'm seeing a local counselor. I'm terribly scared of being secretly in love with someone else or being attracted to someone else outside my relationship, in this case S (if you want a more detailed version u can see my other posts). Long story short: The psychologist confirmed my fear and told me not to think about the thoughts until the next appointment and live in the present ( if it was that simple I would've done it already). Safe to say it sent me and still sending me into a big spiral where I had this big panick attack because I feel the world shattered and my fear is true and then I was just faking everything and not accepting it and it's making me fee so bad as I type this. I had a big panick attack while going back home and had to sit on the sidewalk because I couldnt breathe and was about to throw up. I don't know what to do and if someone has advice I'd be glad to listen.

I had my second session with a therapist and they told me they don’t think I have OCD. They think that I have just intrusive thoughts. They also said they don’t do diagnosis. I also noticed they did not ask me questions about my different themes.This has made me so confused. Even though I had a terrible fear that a therapist will tell that I don’t have it, (which is the main reason why I had not gone to one) I did suspect I had it because I identify with many of the symptoms. On the website it says that they treat it but I don’t think they are like a specialist. On the first session they described OCD mainly as needing to have things symmetrical and fear of contamination. I have a feeling that they don’t know much about it. I also didn’t mentioned all the themes I think I have because I’m scared to be misunderstood. I am not sure what to do. I can’t afford seeing an OCD therapist at NOCD. Can anyone give an insight, has something similar happened to you? Thank you!

I finally found the courage to seek a psychiatrist last week, when I got there I was nervous for obvious reasons and felt a bit guilty. I met the doctor and don’t get me wrong he was very nice and knowledgeable in the bigger scope of mental health. Asked me questions of depression, anxiety, if I see things others don’t etc.. However, while we went through the assessment I did not receive a formal “diagnosis” and seemed as though he came to the determination what I have is general anxiety disorder. I don’t disagree, I know I have anxiety! However, when it came to the point where we were wrapping it up I had a “BUT WAIT” moment. I explained I was a part of an OCD community where I had previously been doing therapy to manage OCD. He asked “well why OCD?” I replied, “I have constant thoughts very repetitive thoughts that follow a theme and they are extremely persistent.” It was then I knew I couldn’t let down the walls and go into depth, as I knew he wouldn’t understand. To validate what I already knew, I said “I have constant fears and worries about my children, myself, and religion. I think about these things all day long. In order to free myself from the feeling I have to say a specific phrase or word in my head.” He said “well yea that’s normal to have worries and fears about your family, your religion” and so forth. The feeling of disappointment is an under statement, this is more than just “anxiety” this is something that I struggle with daily and to have a professional discredit my daily fight was off putting. Not his fault, it demonstrates the lack of knowledge for OCD and treatment many of us have to face. Sorry for the rant, sometimes we just have to advocate for ourselves.. 🌸