- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
Wow heiz, I’m sorry you’re going through this. Are you seeing an ocd specialist? I had the same take control of my life in August. When i saw a news story of someone who killed his wife and children. This made me ask myself all of the same questions you mentioned above and it came with this urge to act on these thoughts. It was absolutely terrifying!!!!! I have since been working on eating healthier (google ocd foods), meditating, exercising, forcing myself to go to work every day, forcing myself to do things that I once enjoyed. It has helped some. I’m switching therapists to an ocd specialist in new your that does therapy via Skype. But when this first happened it was all I could think about all day until I went to bed. And the second I would wake up either to take a leak or wake up for the day it was the first thing on my mind. It sucks but will get better.
- Date posted
- 6y
I’m in my 30’s and he ocd since I was 12-13. It went dormant when I was 20-21, until now. So there is hope for you and all of us! I began to feel better after about a month. Then my ocd theme shifted to different theme but the harm theme comes and goes. I have good days and bad days. When I am consistent with the meditation, exercise, eating well and supplementing with vitamins I do pretty when I stop doing those things I have rough days.
- Date posted
- 6y
I relate to this so much, and the only solution I have found is time. I wouldn’t rely on that though, if I were you. If you find something that helps, please let me know. I was in this exact situation, and I couldn’t tell my family because then they would be afraid of me and I’m not dangerous. Mine also started from YouTube, though I ended up deleting the app. I recommend you using the app Musi instead of YoUTUbE if you have an IOS. Musi links through YouTube and is mainly used for Music, but you can also watch videos, too. You can watch YouTube videos through this app if you search them up, but the play next is only directly related to the video you are watching, so you can’t get trapped in that rabbit hole of curiosity leading to things you can’t unsee. I am sorry to hear that another person is going through this, too, though. Best of luck to you, and if you need to talk to someone who can relay, I am always here.
- Date posted
- 6y
Been there and doing it now
- Date posted
- 6y
I’m seeing a ocd specialist soon so I’m hoping it will help!!! It’s so scary how ocd works it makes me think I’m a horrible person on the inside! Do you know how long it took until you started to feel better?
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you Jeff
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w
I’ve been through a lot of trauma the past few months and years and had an anxiety breakthrough where I can’t stop having panic and anxiety attacks. I used to be a horror movie addict and one night during an anxiety attack my brain went “Kill your sister” My sister is my whole world. It all went downhill from there. I can’t even be around her when were home alone anymore. Every single day since then my brain is trying to tell me a bunch of different ways to harm her. Its getting to a point where its involving others now. “Kill your sister.” “What if you finally go back to your boyfriends house and kill his family?” “What if you kill mom?” “Kill that lady walking down the aisle at work.” “What if you killed yourself?” “You’re a bad person for thinking all of this.” “You shouldn’t be allowed to sleep, eat or relax. Bad people don’t get to do those things.” “These thoughts are in your head 24/7 because you WANT to do these things!” Its causing me so much anxiety and racing thoughts and I don’t want to become anymore depressed. SSRIs dont work. My doctor wants me to go on antipsychotics but I’m afraid to and I feel like I don’t actually need them and it will cause more damage. My goal is to become the person I was before all of this. Not to change completely. I tried buspirone once and I stopped due to increased health anxiety and often found myself saying “remember when you wanted to kill your sister?” and then brushing it off. It helped in some sort of way. I was only on it for a week. My whole life has changed since then. I dont go to my boyfriends house anymore, I dont see my friends, I can’t play video games anymore. All I do is ruminate and I cant stop. I cant even hold a conversation anymore. The compulsions are horrible. I’m so scared that theres no coming back from this. Its all adding to the anxiety that I don’t want to become severe depression. I just want to be me again. I’m starting off ERP and if it doesn’t work I dont know what to do. Can someone please tell me they have been through similar and have gotten better. I just need to save my life. Its getting to a point where this is convincing me this is all real and its going to happen and that im gonna become a psychopath. Its been going on for 3 months. I used to be so bubbly and happy!! (I am not schizoaffective)
- Date posted
- 20w
Hi ❤️ I’m really struggling right now I’m in my sophomore year of Highschool and I’ve finally started planning or thinking abt my future (for context I was extremely depressed and suicidal from 6-9th grade) After conquering my depression this is a huge leap for me and I’m proud of myself ❤️ But there’s something still holding me down :( and I’m not sure what to do anymore that thing is OCD. Since 6th grade I have had strong and invasive intrusive thoughts all the time they scare me so bad and make me feel as though I’m not even real anymore :( I’m sick of taking the time to do ridiculous compulsions to rid or ease these thoughts it’s a waste of time and energy and it hurts me so bad I feel like I will never get to just live my life without this :( How can I plan my future when I can’t even find myself in this mess of anxiety 💔 I’m so tired of fighting my mental health it’s been years from anxiety attacks to sh to survived suicide attempts (I got help dw❤️🩹) and recovery there. Just to be thrown into a storm of awful scary sickening thoughts day and night-when can I just be a normal teenager and possibly a happy adult? How do I conquer this so I can love myself to the fullest and live my life free and happy? :( ❤️❤️🩹 I’m so scared to talk to my parents about it I’m ashamed of my thoughts and every time I bring it up they just say I shouldn’t be diagnosing myself or it’s just ADHD. It really really hurts me they have no idea how awful this feels and it makes me feel so alone sometimes 💔
- Date posted
- 19w
i am convinced im a psycho killer. everytime im around my mom or sister i get these intense thoughts of stabbing or hurting them. when they’re not around its not as intense but its still there. its literally on my mind 24/7. im so tense 24/7. were currently looking for a puppy for the family and when me and my sister were playing with them today the thought was still there. nothing distracts me from it. video games and EVERYTHING else doesn’t work. im starting to feel like i WANT to do these things. i was never like this until i had a marijuana induced panic attack in january. i feel like something happened to my brain and its not just ocd anymore. i dont even know if im faking it. i have suffered from relationship ocd, pedophile ocd, and health ocd. i got over those relatively quickly. this new theme came out of nowhere after a panic attack on a plane coming home from a horror convention in february. i dont see a way out of this one. its been months. i try to let them sit and i get a panic attack. all i do everyday is cry. i feel like my life is over. i talk to a therapist and i have tried two medications that didnf work work. i dont know how to live like this. im afraid im gonna lose my relationship and im afraid im gonna lose my whole life ahead of me. im just 22. i just want the old me back.
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