- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Same here!!!!!!! It’s been the hardest months of my life
Honestly:( I literally believe that if I would’ve gotten a job during the summer then none of this would be happening. I was literally home all the time because of summer school. What was the intrusive thought that caused you to spiral?
@Whyyocd If you don’t mind me asking!
@Whyyocd I also think it was stress cause I had just started a new job! And the intrusive thought came when I was being intimate with my partner and then just spiraled from there
@LoverGirl Yeah I definitely think stress has a lot to do with a theme starting or spiking.
Yea it’s so hard because I’ve been with my bf for 8 years and he’s the one I want to marry but all of this makes me doubt everything and I hate it and I just don’t know if I’ll ever get my relationship back and feel like how I did before
Omg 🥺 I’m so sorry 🥺 I really hope you do! I feel the same. I have a boyfriend who I thought was going to be the one but after this theme it’s made me doubt everything as well. I hope we all can get back to the place we were before 🥺
@Whyyocd I’m sorry you’re also going through this. It’s nice to know that I’m not alone. I also hope that we can get that back
I’m asking myself the same thing :(
It’s so hard
@LoverGirl It really is :( did your relationship ocd come before or after SOOCD?
@Whyyocd My first intrusive thought was SOOCD and then I think it triggered ROCD. But it’s so annoying when I think I’m doing good and a theme no longer bothers me it switches back to the other theme. And back and forth.
@LoverGirl Literally same 😞 I’m not even sure if I have ROCD. My main theme that is literally torturing me is SOOCD. All I know is I never had questions about my relationship until this theme came :(
@Whyyocd Yea I really struggle with soocd. I just wish things were how they used to be
@LoverGirl Me too :(
How long have you been dealing with this?
Since the beginning of June. What about you?
I’ve been dealing with a really bad flare up the last 2 weeks and i’ve been dealing with ocd on and off for years. I was finally feeling better today, So of course my ocd decided to bring up an old intrusive thought that was really upsetting and now i’m stuck on it again. The reason why I struggle so much to conquer my ocd is because I developed ocd as postpartum so my ocd targets my kids, the ones that mean everything to me. The intrusive thoughts range from mild to really disturbing. While I know deep down the intrusive thoughts aren’t true or me, the ocd makes it feel SO real and true which makes me feel like I HAVE to disprove the thoughts and with confidence but the ocd won’t let me. It also makes me question analyze and judge everything I do. It’s an endless cycle of pain and I just want to be a mom without ocd telling me i’m a horrible person all day every day. 😪
I feel so freaking scared. I know I’ll have an intrusive thought/urge and whatever I know I’m going to fight off another compulsion until I eventually give in bc I’m still so new to this. I am petrified and I feel like I cannot for the life of me relax. I’m sleep deprived, in a terrible place hormonally, withdrawing from meds, and being treated like a burden by people around me. I literally feel like I can’t do this. I keep thinking about those posts where people talk about the hypothetical scenarios where you learn your death date. I feel like if someone told me I’d die soon, I would cry of relief. I would never hurt myself but boy do I not want to experience this anymore.
At this point I think I’m just tired. Took me a massive amount of strength to even type this. I’ve never had it this bad with anxiety depression and OCD. Firstly, how do you guys handle the trauma that comes with OCD. I recently realized Ive traumatized by own mind. I think this contributes to depression. Also, the thoughts frequency have gotten so high. It just literally jams its self in my brain. Before, I had some sort of control (at least a grip) but this days it’s so hard to try to get a grip. The unwanted feelings too? Omg, reactions that I literally can’t stand plagues me. My mind turns almost everything sexual. It’s crazy 🙃 Then the anxietyyyyyy! Wheew. I’m like a walking anxiety attack, my heart is always beating fast and it’s so painful. Working is so hard because I can’t get a grip, I feel so broken and I don’t think anyone can relate to this. I don’t know what I can do to help. Then the pressure in my head (that causes headache sometimes), sometimes I genuinely think I have a tumor! I’m pregnant so that makes it sadder, makes me wonder what kind of mother this beautiful soul is coming out here to meet. I don’t want to be a sad mother, and I cry more when I realize my child can feel what I feel rn in my belly😔. Another thing, the moment I don’t wanna do something, doesn’t even have to be anything bad. That’s when it feels my mind wants to force me to do it. It’s a whole lot and I’m just holding on to Jesus to help me out. At least he’s here so that’s comforting.
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