- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Hey. First of all, that sounds really stressful, and I’m sending you virtual hugs if you want them. Second, this sounds like it’s likely due to your depression. Loss of romantic and sexual attraction/interest, as well as flattened affect (not feeling emotions very strongly anymore—happiness, sadness, etc.—basically, feeling numb) are well known symptoms of depression. You’re not broken or abnormal or anything; this is a normal (and sucky, but normal) symptom of depression. Mental illness, just like physical chronic illness, goes through periods where it’s worse and periods where it’s better. That’s probably why you felt better for a bit and then felt worse again. I’m really sorry your parents aren’t okay with you getting therapy (and presumably also meds, which are very often necessary in conjunction with therapy). That makes it a lot harder to get help. Depending on where you live, though, there are still ways you might be able to access care. Because you are 16, you are old enough (in the US—I don’t know about other countries) to have patient confidentiality, where your doctor can’t legally tell your parents what you’ve said to them or what they’re doing to treat you unless you are in imminent danger of hurting yourself or others. This means that you might be able to access care yourself, without your parents’ permission, as long as you are able to pay the copays (this is tricky if you want to keep it a complete secret from your parents, unless you have the means to bypass insurance, but can theoretically be done). It’s likely easier in places with universal healthcare, because there aren’t copays and insurance that your parents could track, but I’m not 100% familiar with how that would work in places other than the US, so don’t quote me on that. Your school counselor would likely also have resources for you, and the internet is full of information about how to access mental healthcare as a minor. I don’t know your specific family situation, but perhaps the simplest (though maybe emotionally hardest) solution would be to sit your parents down and have a real heart to heart conversation about the ins and outs of the state of your mental health/lack thereof. Really talk about the nitty gritties and lay bare the scariest and most difficult things you’re dealing with. That might get them to accept that you need help they and your bootstraps are not able to give. It could also be a terrible and dangerous thing to do though if your parents are abusive; I don’t know them, so I can’t make that call. You would need to decide if that’s a good idea or not for yourself. I wish I could give you more help. You’re not broken, though; you’re just depressed and in need of proper mental healthcare. Once your depression is well-treated, you should feel a lot more like yourself again.
- Date posted
- 3y
i don’t feel happy at all, i can still smile and laugh but only for a moment :( i don’t really feel sad like with sad deaths on tv but i cry over this ocd, i just cry over my loss of attraction, is there anyway i can get it back? even through self treatment, and i live in the UK, it desperate to feel for my boyfriend again, he’s supported so much with my ocd. my dad is a lot more considerate than my mother, when i told my mother she told me off and took away my phone whereas my dad just told me i don’t have it but still showed sympathy and sadness in his eyes, i’m thinking of telling just my dad but not my mother. i hope i don’t have depression due to ocd, thank you for your comment, i’m really struggling at the moment, so thank you 🥰
- Date posted
- 3y
please can someone comment??
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w
I believe I have ROCD — at least, that’s what many people here have told me based on what I’ve shared — and I really need help, because I feel like I’m falling apart. I don’t know what I feel anymore. I don’t know what’s real. My thoughts come as loud, cold statements — not questions. They say things like: “Nothing is the same.” “You don’t love him.” “You’re just staying because you’re used to him.” And even though I know I’m supposed to let the thoughts pass and not engage with them — I can’t. I get stuck in them. I try to find answers, I ruminate, I check, I cry, I panic. Everyone says “love isn’t just a feeling” — and I know that. But… I still want to feel something. I want to feel warmth, or connection, or even just peace. It’s been so long since I felt anything like that. Now everything just feels empty or terrifying or cold. My brain only gives me negative interpretations. No memory brings me comfort anymore. Nothing feels like it used to. And the worst part is — it all feels true. Sometimes I think: “What if I’m just denying the truth?” “What if I’ve finally realized that I don’t love him, and I just don’t want to admit it?” This feels like the worst version of myself. I’m so confused and scared and tired. Even therapy didn’t help — my therapist said things that made it worse, and now I don’t know who or what to believe anymore. I just want help. I want to know how to face ROCD — if that’s what this really is. I want to believe I can feel love again. I don’t want to lose myself in this forever. Has anyone else felt like this? How did you start to get better? i cant even remember past good memories with him, my head tells me that i didnt love him and i was just “excited “ to have someone. We have 2 years together and i have been dealing with this for a year and a half.
- Date posted
- 19w
I feel like I’m falling apart. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 years. He’s kind, loving, supportive — and I know he loves me deeply. But I can’t feel anything anymore. I sit next to him, and I feel numb. I kiss him, and it feels empty. I remember how I used to feel, and now… nothing. It terrifies me. The worst part is that I don’t even know what’s real anymore. I constantly question if I ever loved him, if I’m just forcing things out of guilt or fear. Sometimes I imagine breaking up, and I feel nothing — and that scares me even more. I keep thinking: if I really loved him, wouldn’t I feel it? I’ve read about ROCD. I want to believe that’s what this is. But the thoughts feel so real. And I can’t stop spiraling. My therapist didn’t help — she made me feel like maybe I was lying to myself. My mom either tells me to stop overthinking or gets angry. I have no one to really talk to. If anyone here has been through this — through the numbness, the “what if I never loved him?” thoughts, the feeling like it’s all fake — please tell me how you got through. I’m exhausted. I just want to feel peace again.
- Date posted
- 7w
This is going to be long and all over the place. To give some context I’ve dealt with SOOCD for a long time now and it had very bad effects on my past relationship. I had a hard time being intimate with my past partner because I was always subconsciously checking if I was getting aroused enough, if I was attracted to him, if I truly liked him, or if I was lying to myself (yk the whole deal). I literally felt nothing but anxiety when we did things which made everything worse. I was also extremely depressed which made my libido and attraction towards men completely vanish (still have low libido and my attraction is kinda the same). Me and the guy broke up and a couple years ago we reconnected. When I saw him again I was extremely attracted to him, romantically and sexually. This made me so happy because I finally felt some confirmation that I knew who I was and my thoughts weren’t real after years of being tortured by them. We didn’t end up lasting because my feelings started to shift but I truly blame that on the fact that it was just a dumb old high school relationship, he was a terrible boyfriend in the past, and we had nothing in common. However while we were together, I had dealt with really bad relationship anxiety. I found other people attractive which gave me reassurance, but also made spiral because I thought it meant I didn’t like him anymore, I was lying to myself about my feelings, and I questioned everything about the relationship. Fast forward to now, I am now in a new relationship and I’ve known this guy for a long time. I developed a crush on him which again made me really happy bc I haven’t had a crush in a VERY long time. I made a couple of posts on here about how I started to overthink everything (pls read those to get more context I don’t want to make this even longer). I started to get really anxious and had more intrusive thoughts about lying to myself about my feelings/and sexuality, not really liking him, not being attracted to him, yk all that. I was able to manage it by watching a video about rumination where the guy basically just said “stop thinking about it.” He said to just let it float there, don’t engage with it, don’t try to solve or understand, don’t try to replace it, don’t say a mantra, don’t be mindful, just let it be there and move on. I also went on reddit and this guy said to stop hyper focusing on the attraction/ the “right” feelings bc the more you try to look for them the less you will feel it. Anyways, I took the advice and the next time we hung out I felt comfortable and just so much better. It was the sweetest date and I truly had a fun time. However, when we kissed I immediately started over analyzing and questioning everything. I had bad experiences with my ex because I kept trying to analyze my feelings like do I really like this kiss? Am I actually attracted to him? Why am I not feeling super excited right now? Why did all these good feelings just go away? It was so annoying and heartbreaking for me because I just want to be normal, I want to truly enjoy this relationship. I want to stop automatically checking and over thinking everything. We’ve discussed sexual things and it automatically made me hyper analyze everything making me feel more anxious and unsure about the relationship and my sexuality. There have been times where we talked about them and I’ve thought about it with no worry, and I even got turned on by it (tmi i’m sorry). But I’m worried that I’ll have the same bad experiences I did with my ex and it’ll ruin how I view the everything. I was so excited for this but now I feel so scared and anxious again. I really want to enjoy this, he’s truly an amazing person and I want to be with him without being bombarded by this shit 😭. Sorry if none of this made sense. Please give me advice if you have any!!!!
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