PLEASE HELP - i am 16 years old and my parents do not want me to get a therapist as they believe nothing is wrong with me. i suffer from both HOCD and ROCD although that doesn’t matter because ocd is all the same no matter the theme. before my boyfriend i went through a loss of attraction, i would sit and ruminate all day and beg for my attraction back, i would cry and want to kms because i jsut felt absolutely nothing, i would try and feel sad over my last heartbreak jsut to prove i felt it, then, i don’t know how, i got my attraction back, i didn’t wake up one day and it was back, it just came back over time although i don’t remember how. in that time i developed a crush on this guy and now we’re practically dating it’s been a week but these past 3 days, that same numbness and loss of attraction is back, anytime he says anything romantic to me i feel numb, and i know it’s not just him, i feel numb to sad moments in tv shows or to my passions but my main focus is about attraction, how do i get my attraction back?? or how do i let go of the need? the thing is, when my boyfriend says romantic things to me, it sort of triggers me, i dont want to avoid him, i know i’m attracted to him, otherwise i wouldn’t wanna be with him, but how do i feel it again? i’m so obsessed with not feeling it and feeling numb but it’s the same thing as before, how do i let it go? i dont really get intrusive thoughts anymore, it’s more of this lack of feeling, i’m scared i’m not attracted to him, i keep trying to feel it and idk how to stop. please help.

plantsarecool21

Date posted: 3y ago

Hey. First of all, that sounds really stressful, and I’m sending you virtual hugs if you want them. Second, this sounds like it’s likely due to your depression. Loss of romantic and sexual attraction/interest, as well as flattened affect (not feeling emotions very strongly anymore—happiness, sadness, etc.—basically, feeling numb) are well known symptoms of depression. You’re not broken or abnormal or anything; this is a normal (and sucky, but normal) symptom of depression. Mental illness, just like physical chronic illness, goes through periods where it’s worse and periods where it’s better. That’s probably why you felt better for a bit and then felt worse again. I’m really sorry your parents aren’t okay with you getting therapy (and presumably also meds, which are very often necessary in conjunction with therapy). That makes it a lot harder to get help. Depending on where you live, though, there are still ways you might be able to access care. Because you are 16, you are old enough (in the US—I don’t know about other countries) to have patient confidentiality, where your doctor can’t legally tell your parents what you’ve said to them or what they’re doing to treat you unless you are in imminent danger of hurting yourself or others. This means that you might be able to access care yourself, without your parents’ permission, as long as you are able to pay the copays (this is tricky if you want to keep it a complete secret from your parents, unless you have the means to bypass insurance, but can theoretically be done). It’s likely easier in places with universal healthcare, because there aren’t copays and insurance that your parents could track, but I’m not 100% familiar with how that would work in places other than the US, so don’t quote me on that. Your school counselor would likely also have resources for you, and the internet is full of information about how to access mental healthcare as a minor. I don’t know your specific family situation, but perhaps the simplest (though maybe emotionally hardest) solution would be to sit your parents down and have a real heart to heart conversation about the ins and outs of the state of your mental health/lack thereof. Really talk about the nitty gritties and lay bare the scariest and most difficult things you’re dealing with. That might get them to accept that you need help they and your bootstraps are not able to give. It could also be a terrible and dangerous thing to do though if your parents are abusive; I don’t know them, so I can’t make that call. You would need to decide if that’s a good idea or not for yourself. I wish I could give you more help. You’re not broken, though; you’re just depressed and in need of proper mental healthcare. Once your depression is well-treated, you should feel a lot more like yourself again.

ciaraocd

Date posted: 3y ago

i don’t feel happy at all, i can still smile and laugh but only for a moment :( i don’t really feel sad like with sad deaths on tv but i cry over this ocd, i just cry over my loss of attraction, is there anyway i can get it back? even through self treatment, and i live in the UK, it desperate to feel for my boyfriend again, he’s supported so much with my ocd. my dad is a lot more considerate than my mother, when i told my mother she told me off and took away my phone whereas my dad just told me i don’t have it but still showed sympathy and sadness in his eyes, i’m thinking of telling just my dad but not my mother. i hope i don’t have depression due to ocd, thank you for your comment, i’m really struggling at the moment, so thank you 🥰

ciaraocd

Date posted: 3y ago

please can someone comment??

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 16w ago

Pls I need advice

I’ve had so many moments of clarity with my OCD that I love my boyfriend and I’m beyond willing to go through this to be better and be with him. in the back of mind I’ve in a way known I was at least somewhat sexually attracted to women (I’m a woman) since the start of the ocd it was always like “okay. Fine, but I don’t want to date a girl” I only just realized this after the ocd started, I never really argued with this. my ocd has always revolved around if I’m romantically interested in women and not men. I’ve done so many compulsions through this year and a half and 9 times out of 10 have come to the conclusion that I don’t want to be with a woman romantically. I always end up feeling like I know I love my boyfriend. But the doubts don’t stop about whether I want to spend my life with a woman instead, my heart literally breaks to think of not being with my bf and imagining him with someone else. I don’t want to be with a woman I know deep down somewhere underneath the anxiety that that’s not what I want. It doesn’t feel natural for me, unfulfilling. I want to tell my boyfriend about the possible sexual attraction to women (ik it’s still ocd related) but I’m scared that once I tell him, I’ll realize that I actually do want to be with women and not with him. Ugh I’ve spent hours today ruminating about this after being solid in my commitment with him for a little while, I’m stuck in this loop and idk how to get out right now

misereri

Date posted: 11w ago

Someone to talk to?please?

Hi, I'm 17,about to be 18. I've been struggling with these thoughts for the past 8 months. I was wondering if someone experienced ever the same because I feel im "different". BACKGROUND: (I'm not diagnosed with Ocd but seeing a local counselor) About 9 months ago I cheated on my boyfriend with this guy S (who blackmailed, manipulated and molested me). Since then when I realized that what i did was very WRONG and so I started ruminating picking apart every single interaction and telling my boyfriend, i tried to remember every single detail because otherwise I felt like i was being a fraud and hiding things to save myself, i had many crisis about it because I had also what i think was false memory ocd. My boyfriend forgave me idk how tbh I still wonder. CURRENT STRUGGLE: Months ago I was sure I didn't wanna S in any way and i was sure even when everything happened. For the past 2 months tho I've been having thoughts like " Do I love S?" "I love S" "S is hot" "Would S find me hot?" "What if I want S?" " What if I don't love my boyfriend enough?" "What if I secretly want S?" "What if I see my boyfriend as a friend only?Do I?" And I tried testing my reaction to intimate scenarios with S, I'm scared I like it i dont really wanna love S or have any secret attraction, I wish I didn't have any of this and I want to be sure of my feelings for my boyfriend because I know I wanna be with him and I see a future with him like he brings me comfort. But a part of me keeps trying to convince me otherwise. Sometimes I think I'd rather die than have these thoughts. Im so scared of not being able to control my feelings, im scared I can't resist S and its giving me anxiety and making me cry. Sometimes when i think of those sexual scenarios with S or I get those thoughts my mind tells me to smile because i like it because I find it funny. It makes me doubt myself all over again. Like I'm always like I need to test if I'd feel aroused to intimate scenarios with S, lately im trying to fight this urge to test and test but my mind is like "just do it this once so you can be sure. I can never watch anything romantic or sexual or whatever because my mind would be like "you and S" or sometimes I'm just enjoying time with my bf and im like " yes we can just have a sneaky cheating thing thats ok" and it makes me want to figure it out to find an answer a solution because idk it just does like I need to find the meaning of it if it means the truth and all. Im worried im just an awful person and these thoughts just ruin my quality of life . Today i had a crisis where i ended up doinf swlf harm, I'm so scared of finding someone that's not my boyfriend desirable or sexual appealing or whatever it is, I also have bodily reactions when I try to imagine and test my reaction to scenarios. Now i keep groing everytime and I dont know why but i have this sensation and I dont want to havebit especially when its something S related. Does someone experience the same thoughts? Am I alone in this? Is this ROCD? What should i do?

Anonymous

Date posted: 5w ago

SOCD false attraction

hey guys, i’m almost fully healed in my socd journey but what’s stopping me is the false atractions. i get them almost 24/7 at this point and to every thing. they feel real and i hate them they make me feel disgusted. they also make me feel like hot and gross but then i see people saying thats what attractions feel like, but i have felt so much attraction to the opposite gender pre all of this and it felt nice and enjoyable not digustinf. i’m also getting false memory trying to show me ‘signal’ from my childhood to prove i’m gay amd i truly don’t know if they’re real. it’s so degrading and at this point i feel like govining up. pelesse if you have any advice or even if your going through the same thing just let me know. ocd is so terrible

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