PLEASE HELP - i am 16 years old and my parents do not want me to get a therapist as they believe nothing is wrong with me. i suffer from both HOCD and ROCD although that doesn’t matter because ocd is all the same no matter the theme. before my boyfriend i went through a loss of attraction, i would sit and ruminate all day and beg for my attraction back, i would cry and want to kms because i jsut felt absolutely nothing, i would try and feel sad over my last heartbreak jsut to prove i felt it, then, i don’t know how, i got my attraction back, i didn’t wake up one day and it was back, it just came back over time although i don’t remember how. in that time i developed a crush on this guy and now we’re practically dating it’s been a week but these past 3 days, that same numbness and loss of attraction is back, anytime he says anything romantic to me i feel numb, and i know it’s not just him, i feel numb to sad moments in tv shows or to my passions but my main focus is about attraction, how do i get my attraction back?? or how do i let go of the need? the thing is, when my boyfriend says romantic things to me, it sort of triggers me, i dont want to avoid him, i know i’m attracted to him, otherwise i wouldn’t wanna be with him, but how do i feel it again? i’m so obsessed with not feeling it and feeling numb but it’s the same thing as before, how do i let it go? i dont really get intrusive thoughts anymore, it’s more of this lack of feeling, i’m scared i’m not attracted to him, i keep trying to feel it and idk how to stop. please help.

plantsarecool21

Date posted: 3y

Hey. First of all, that sounds really stressful, and I’m sending you virtual hugs if you want them. Second, this sounds like it’s likely due to your depression. Loss of romantic and sexual attraction/interest, as well as flattened affect (not feeling emotions very strongly anymore—happiness, sadness, etc.—basically, feeling numb) are well known symptoms of depression. You’re not broken or abnormal or anything; this is a normal (and sucky, but normal) symptom of depression. Mental illness, just like physical chronic illness, goes through periods where it’s worse and periods where it’s better. That’s probably why you felt better for a bit and then felt worse again. I’m really sorry your parents aren’t okay with you getting therapy (and presumably also meds, which are very often necessary in conjunction with therapy). That makes it a lot harder to get help. Depending on where you live, though, there are still ways you might be able to access care. Because you are 16, you are old enough (in the US—I don’t know about other countries) to have patient confidentiality, where your doctor can’t legally tell your parents what you’ve said to them or what they’re doing to treat you unless you are in imminent danger of hurting yourself or others. This means that you might be able to access care yourself, without your parents’ permission, as long as you are able to pay the copays (this is tricky if you want to keep it a complete secret from your parents, unless you have the means to bypass insurance, but can theoretically be done). It’s likely easier in places with universal healthcare, because there aren’t copays and insurance that your parents could track, but I’m not 100% familiar with how that would work in places other than the US, so don’t quote me on that. Your school counselor would likely also have resources for you, and the internet is full of information about how to access mental healthcare as a minor. I don’t know your specific family situation, but perhaps the simplest (though maybe emotionally hardest) solution would be to sit your parents down and have a real heart to heart conversation about the ins and outs of the state of your mental health/lack thereof. Really talk about the nitty gritties and lay bare the scariest and most difficult things you’re dealing with. That might get them to accept that you need help they and your bootstraps are not able to give. It could also be a terrible and dangerous thing to do though if your parents are abusive; I don’t know them, so I can’t make that call. You would need to decide if that’s a good idea or not for yourself. I wish I could give you more help. You’re not broken, though; you’re just depressed and in need of proper mental healthcare. Once your depression is well-treated, you should feel a lot more like yourself again.

ciaraocd

Date posted: 3y

i don’t feel happy at all, i can still smile and laugh but only for a moment :( i don’t really feel sad like with sad deaths on tv but i cry over this ocd, i just cry over my loss of attraction, is there anyway i can get it back? even through self treatment, and i live in the UK, it desperate to feel for my boyfriend again, he’s supported so much with my ocd. my dad is a lot more considerate than my mother, when i told my mother she told me off and took away my phone whereas my dad just told me i don’t have it but still showed sympathy and sadness in his eyes, i’m thinking of telling just my dad but not my mother. i hope i don’t have depression due to ocd, thank you for your comment, i’m really struggling at the moment, so thank you 🥰

ciaraocd

Date posted: 3y

please can someone comment??

faye1010

Date posted: 24w

ROCD

Good morning everyone, I need some opinions or help on what people might think is wrong. March 2024 is when I started questioning everything about my relationship for no reason he is everything that I wanted, but my mind is trying to tell me that it isn't April 2024 was probably one of the worst times of my life I stayed home from work because I was constantly crying and totally sick because I didn't know what to do. The thoughts slowly started to not bother me as much. I feel like since it ever started I never have gotten that. Love feeling back for my boyfriend, but I want it back so bad because when I did have it, it was absolutely amazing. I have no desire to kiss him or be intimate with him either which also scares me fast-forward to today. I am waking up with so many doubts in questioning myself. Is this ever gonna go away or am I ever gonna feel that love back for my boyfriend ever again? I feel like I'm wasting his time and my time because it feels never ending. I went to a therapist shortly after starting to deal with this and she didn't really seem to help so now on Wednesday I have a new therapist that specializes in OCD I think does anyone have any advice? Thank you so much in advance.

Mariabae

Date posted: 13w

i need help, i dont know what is happening

I believe I have ROCD — at least, that’s what many people here have told me based on what I’ve shared — and I really need help, because I feel like I’m falling apart. I don’t know what I feel anymore. I don’t know what’s real. My thoughts come as loud, cold statements — not questions. They say things like: “Nothing is the same.” “You don’t love him.” “You’re just staying because you’re used to him.” And even though I know I’m supposed to let the thoughts pass and not engage with them — I can’t. I get stuck in them. I try to find answers, I ruminate, I check, I cry, I panic. Everyone says “love isn’t just a feeling” — and I know that. But… I still want to feel something. I want to feel warmth, or connection, or even just peace. It’s been so long since I felt anything like that. Now everything just feels empty or terrifying or cold. My brain only gives me negative interpretations. No memory brings me comfort anymore. Nothing feels like it used to. And the worst part is — it all feels true. Sometimes I think: “What if I’m just denying the truth?” “What if I’ve finally realized that I don’t love him, and I just don’t want to admit it?” This feels like the worst version of myself. I’m so confused and scared and tired. Even therapy didn’t help — my therapist said things that made it worse, and now I don’t know who or what to believe anymore. I just want help. I want to know how to face ROCD — if that’s what this really is. I want to believe I can feel love again. I don’t want to lose myself in this forever. Has anyone else felt like this? How did you start to get better? i cant even remember past good memories with him, my head tells me that i didnt love him and i was just “excited “ to have someone. We have 2 years together and i have been dealing with this for a year and a half.

Mariabae

Date posted: 13w

i cant do it

I feel like I’m falling apart. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 years. He’s kind, loving, supportive — and I know he loves me deeply. But I can’t feel anything anymore. I sit next to him, and I feel numb. I kiss him, and it feels empty. I remember how I used to feel, and now… nothing. It terrifies me. The worst part is that I don’t even know what’s real anymore. I constantly question if I ever loved him, if I’m just forcing things out of guilt or fear. Sometimes I imagine breaking up, and I feel nothing — and that scares me even more. I keep thinking: if I really loved him, wouldn’t I feel it? I’ve read about ROCD. I want to believe that’s what this is. But the thoughts feel so real. And I can’t stop spiraling. My therapist didn’t help — she made me feel like maybe I was lying to myself. My mom either tells me to stop overthinking or gets angry. I have no one to really talk to. If anyone here has been through this — through the numbness, the “what if I never loved him?” thoughts, the feeling like it’s all fake — please tell me how you got through. I’m exhausted. I just want to feel peace again.

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