I’ve had hocd for around 7 months now, wasn’t too bad at first but has been getting progressively worse and worse, partly because of a lack of sex drive but also because I frighteningly only experience arousal when thinking about men but nothing happens any more when I think about women, literally zero. I try not to judge other people, but I wouldn’t really want to be gay, cos it would mean that my whole life was a lie from before this came along. I don’t mind other people doing it but it’s never been my thing, and now I can’t even get any feelings for girls like I did before. I try and ignore any thoughts that come along about how I must have been gay from the start and attribute that too OCD, while accepting the possibility that it could be real, but the arousal in the wrong context is too disturbing to let that pass. I just wanted to know if anyone was experiencing something similar. Bit of background: I’m a virgin and have always had a relatively low sex drive for a long while after coming off watching porn, but before the HOCD struck. Had POCD before and that was awful but always related to girls not guys.

i know exactly what you’re going through because i’m going thorough the same stuff except the other way around. i’m a virgin too but i’ve never been attracted to girls and that’s the part that makes me mad. that i still get these thoughts even though i’ve never liked one. and same with me. i get scared to do stuff with guys now because i’m like what if i don’t like it or what if i’m just lying to myself and am in denial. and same with me i’ve never been that into sex but as i got older it got stronger but now it just feels like i can’t. at first it was just a thought and i laughed it off but then it just kept coming back stronger and stronger. i don’t know exactly what caused it but i just know that i’ve been trying to let the thoughts sit there and just not act upon them but it’s hard. i’ve been trying to just push myself to hang with guys more and just get back out there but it’s really difficult. i’m sorry you’re going through this but you’re not alone and i’m always here if you wanna talk!

i know i feel that. it sucks and i just want to feel like myself again

Do you get groinal responses

i’m sorry:( i wish i could just get over this i know it takes time but sometimes it feels so real and it’s even to a point where i don’t even wanna talk to guys because i feel like i just won’t like it which i know i do but my brain is like telling me “what if you don’t what if you’re just not denying everything” and that really makes me depressed and anxious to the thought like i hate it

I feel you bro

I've been having it for 4 months and saaaame. It's more like I don't know how I am anymore. I don't want to go to any way now, and I can't get back who I used to be. But standing in the middle. In the stupid doubt. Is killing me slowly

But is really just mortifying. Even when I want to think about being with a boy. My brain say "what if he was a she?" So then I just can't concentrate and is a stupid illness, remember, because is normal to like people, no matter their sexuality, but c'mon Hocd, not even to think about other things in life? I hate you xdd

i do not

Yeah I do it sucks big time, like I can look at a guy and immediately get a feeling/movement down below and it’s really pissing me off

I have it really bad, I have actual movement sometimes even erections

I don't feel anything, in both sides.

Yeah zidzad igy it’s shit, sometimes I don’t know if I like it or not and the physical reactions certainly don’t help.

Does your penis increase in size? :s mine does that is proof

I’m so depressed

I wouldn’t know about size but I do feel like a twinge or buzz as soon as I see a guy

It’s kinda messed up

I tested with porn. Big mistake it’s my biggest compulsion