Feelings vs urges
Hey everyone, I have been dating my amazing girlfriend since January this year. I can safely say she is the best thing to have ever happened to me. She literally goes above and beyond to make me happy. However, my ROCD latched onto my ex a few weeks ago and is convincing me I want her. Bare in mind, I’ve had this thought/feeling about other girls before this thought and it would usually last a few days until it switched to another girl. Therefore, I know this is ridiculous as there are moments of clarity where I can just laugh at it and be like that’s stupid because of how toxic and evil she was. She cheated on me in the end which is the reason we broke up. Now OCD looks for every problem it can find in my current girlfriend and it makes her out to be the problem and makes my ex out to be some sort of angel even though I know deep down what she is. Then OCD tries to come up with things I may have done in the past which caused her to cheat which I believe to be false memory OCD as I struggle to remember. It’s so hard as I am so disconnected from my girlfriend and it makes her feel a stranger. Then it compares her to my ex if she does something we disagree/argue on and convinces me if you can forgive her why can’t you forgive your ex and get back with her which I cannot express anymore I don’t want. It’s driving me insane. Can anyone relate please I’m begging? I just want peace. I want OCD to focus on the good in my girlfriend for once instead of that other w**re.