Feelings vs urges Hey everyone, I have been dating my amazing girlfriend since January this year. I can safely say she is the best thing to have ever happened to me. She literally goes above and beyond to make me happy. However, my ROCD latched onto my ex a few weeks ago and is convincing me I want her. Bare in mind, I’ve had this thought/feeling about other girls before this thought and it would usually last a few days until it switched to another girl. Therefore, I know this is ridiculous as there are moments of clarity where I can just laugh at it and be like that’s stupid because of how toxic and evil she was. She cheated on me in the end which is the reason we broke up. Now OCD looks for every problem it can find in my current girlfriend and it makes her out to be the problem and makes my ex out to be some sort of angel even though I know deep down what she is. Then OCD tries to come up with things I may have done in the past which caused her to cheat which I believe to be false memory OCD as I struggle to remember. It’s so hard as I am so disconnected from my girlfriend and it makes her feel a stranger. Then it compares her to my ex if she does something we disagree/argue on and convinces me if you can forgive her why can’t you forgive your ex and get back with her which I cannot express anymore I don’t want. It’s driving me insane. Can anyone relate please I’m begging? I just want peace. I want OCD to focus on the good in my girlfriend for once instead of that other w**re.

I need advice. I’ve had OCD in different forms since I was eight. I’ve been with my boyfriend for two years now. He has always been subtly anxious and jealous. He would say things like, “I find everyone but you ugly” or “I could never find anyone else attractive.” That stressed me out morally, especially since it’s our first relationship and I, of course, want to be good enough for him. It started around the three-month mark of our relationship. Now to the problem: When I see someone who is attractive or cute, it already begins. I start thinking—or rather, I don’t just think, I feel. I genuinely and naturally feel these emotions, like I find that person attractive, like I like them, like I want them. I even feel infatuated, like I want to be with them, spend time with them, be their partner, even sexual scenarios or feelings like I love them. These emotions feel so natural and real that I can’t tell the difference. With one person, I’ve had these feelings for over a year. But I only know most of these people by sight. It could be that I’ve fallen in love with the idea of them. That’s a big issue for me. It completely goes against my moral values. I don’t want this. For me, it would be terrible to have a crush on someone else, to like someone else, or to fall in love with another person. Or worse, to love someone else. Because I do love my partner, and I want a future with him. And I know the relationship wouldn’t survive if my fears came true. Even if he always tells me, ‘No, I wouldn’t break up with you,’ I couldn’t live with it myself. And the thing is, it’s not even such an unrealistic fear. It’s not like I’m afraid I want to kill someone or that I have feelings like that. No, this topic I’m dealing with involves real people. There are many people who suddenly fall for someone else, who develop a crush or even fall in love with another person. And I can’t reconcile that with myself. A year ago, I saw someone, and it hit me like a shock (I think in a negative way). Yes, he is attractive or cute. But in that moment, I felt so much fear, panic, and adrenaline because I felt and thought that I liked him more than my partner. When that happens, I start testing my feelings again. And of course, I feel exactly what I’m afraid of. I then constantly feel this pressure or burden, along with guilt. When I think about a scenario, or imagine the person, those feelings come immediately—followed by fear, panic, and guilt. Because of that, I avoid certain places, things, or even numbers because I’m afraid of being triggered. By now, I’m convinced these are my true feelings, because I just can’t imagine that OCD could produce such emotions, and for such a long time—sometimes over a year. I simply don’t want this. I just feel awful, like a monster. What should I do?

Ok so this all could be for reassurance but I’m rlly upset en and need help. So to preface, I had ocd when I was younger her and when I started dating my current bf it suddenly returned but ig I didn’t realize it was rocd bc I never knew it could present itself in this way. All I knew was “go away I just wanna love my bf and stop liking other guys” when my brain would get me so confused. A couple weeks ago I started on Luvox and I thought it was rlly working bc I also started seeing an ocd specialist and she gave great tips on exposures and the Medication in conjunction w that jus felt like it finally make me myself again. However, yesterday I had some gwneral intrusive thoughts in the morning and right before that, I was on top of the world so happy bc I was myself again. When the thoughts came I was like ew oh whatever. UNTIL my brain was like nagging me and making me feel guilty for having those thoughts. So I dove into em making sure they weren’t true etc. bc that never fixes anything it kept progressively getting worse and I forgot my exposures in those moments bc I just wanted to make sure I loved my man and didn’t do smth against him. Towards the later day, I was swimming w my siblings and my bf and the whole time I had a blast bc he’s the best, but I had nagging thoughts and feelings saying some guy from my new job is similar looking but slightly better looking and he’s the one guy I’ll leave my bf for. And it’s been saying that and variations of it from over 24 hrs now and I feel so awful. I feel guilty and to make things worse. Last night bc I spiraled/ relapsed so hard my thoughts also said I wanna leave my bf bc I no longer love him and I miss those old feelings but I can’t jus forget how awful I am as a gf to him bc my thoughts and ocd feelings. I feel terrible and I jus wanna be fixed😓I don’t wanna like that guy my man is my bsf and so cute and handsome and perfect. Why am I still “confused” if I don’t wanna be etc. my therapist said to go toward my goals and Values and not let ocd stop me from it, but I feel as if I can’t til I make sure I don’t like the other person or wanna but all I want is to be me but I feel like a liar 😞

My ex boyfriend broke up with me last summer and it was really rough on me even thought we only dated for a little while. He treated me terribly but I guess I wanted it to work. However during the fall I was healing well and met my current boyfriend. I knew him as a kid and we reconnected and started dating. It’s the most WONDERFUL relationship ever and I love him so much. However for the past couple months, on and off, I have been obsessively thinking about my ex, to the point of feeling so sick to my stomach. Just the thought will do it. I have been stopping myself from checking his instagram because that just makes it worse. I do not want me ex back at all and I am so happy now. I recognize these thoughts as intrusive and hurtful. I just want them to stop and be in the moment. Has anyone had a similar experience? What did u do? Also, I want to tell my boyfriend about this but I am unsure on how to do so.