I don’t know if this is harm ocd but a long time ago I had an intrusive thought about my friends dad because she told me that her dad was sick and I had a bad intrusive thought about him for some reason because she stopped talking then to me for some reason and I had a revengeful intrusive thought about her dad and it freaked me out because I would never want anything bad to happen to someone. And then a while later two of her family members passed and I felt like it was all my fault. So now every time I’m around my friend I feel so guilty but I know I would never want that or want anything bad to happen to someone especially when it comes to death. It’s not me at all. Did I have the intrusive thought because I was angry or frustrated at her? I feel like whenever I say I never want anything bad to happen, I feel like I’m in denial. I hate myself and I hate ocd if that’s what this is. I just don’t understand it

I hope it wasn’t on purpose. Thank you for understanding. I feel so much guilt though it feels all too real.

@BlueMountain Thank you I appreciate it

@Just Breathe ❤️ You should never hate yourself friend, you have done nothing wrong. We have all had a time in our life where we just had a thought of something that we think is awful and it scares us to think that we thought that. Our thoughts don't define us, and neither do our feelings, all we can do is our best to live through this life that is often very complicated for all of us. Everything isn't always going to make sense to us all the time. But you're not in denial, you care about people, you're a kind and compassionate person just like BlueMountain said. OCD will try to make us question everything, but we just have to do our best to not try to answer those questions because it will only lead to more questions from our OCD, and we'll never have enough answers to bring us peace on what we're struggling with. Accepting the uncertainty in a situation will make a world of difference, just like BlueMountain was saying about making yourself comfortable with the bad thoughts, it really will do you a world of good. It will do a world of good for all of us, myself included. I hope you'll feel better my friend, and I hope you have a nice day. God bless Just Breathe! :)

@Drew777 Thank you