- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
I don’t want to trigger you, but this happened to me. I started saying I’m bisexual but I keep it between my husband and I. To be completely honest I only intend on being with men (my husband) but I enjoy looking at women sometimes and there’s nothing wrong with that. Accepting that has made ocd loosen its grip on me, and I stopped having anxiety surrounding those thoughts. It gave me room to breathe. And then I was able to see I really primarily only like men, it was OCD that was causing me to relentlessly question myself. Practicing unconditional self acceptance helps you to sort your thoughts
- Date posted
- 3y
I want to add, this is just my experience. It doesn’t mean it’s yours. There are millions of people who are 100% straight who have HOCD. It’s about the obsession of thinking about your sexuality, it giving you anxiety that takes over. You can’t allow it to give you fear or else you continue the cycle of ruminating and checking
- Date posted
- 3y
Comment deleted by user
- User type
- Staff
- Date posted
- 3y
everyone is different!
- Date posted
- 3y
it's not going to happen to you, it's just one person's experience. being bisexual is swag af and not the end of the world
- Date posted
- 3y
Wdym its swag? And, I understand Its not the end of the world, but I always wanted to fall in love in a girl and do stuff with her but I feel like Ive lost that feeling now and im slowly forgetting about it. Im not worried about being Bi or gay as much as not being able to feel attraction and connection to women or it being lower to whatever other attraction I could have thats what terrifies me.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Imaan7 Accept uncertainty, and then everything will fall into place. Trust yourself, trust that everything is going to be okay no matter what. Youre going to be okay no matter what conclusion you come to
- User type
- Staff
- Date posted
- 3y
these situations can be extremely triggering. i'm sorry you're struggling with it. keep in mind the goal of exposure therapy and the whole recovery process is not to be 100% certain of your sexuality REGARDLESS of what direction that is. it's not to be 100% sure you're straight, not to be 100% certain of anything. rather it's being okay knowing that you may never know for sure, that none of us really know for sure, and that we don't need to answer those questions and that we certainly won't find it out by ruminating about it, reassurance seeking, or avoiding. ocd fools us into believing that those behaviors/rituals will be helpful but they end up keeping us more stuck. how are you doing now?
Related posts
- Date posted
- 13w
I’ve completely lost myself. I can’t focus on my studies, I can’t go to the gym. Dang it I can’t even be around my male friends normally anymore. I got no idea why or how this happened but the only thing I know for sure is that I never questioned my sexuality neither doubted it. I never cared in general. I just liked girls. I keep testing and keep testing and keep testing my arousal but no matter how many times I see but I don’t feel the same way for guys that I do with girls my mind will always try to make me believe that I am gay. It’s like it’s forcing me into an identity I never asked for. But at the end of the day like my psychologist told me. Sexuality doesn’t change. So since I never felt anything for guys in my life it’s ocd. I’ve been up and down for 5 months now and while the last week I was feeling way better. Monday now and I’m back to zero. I just want to go back when everything was normal. I can’t keep living with this.
- Date posted
- 13w
As a lesbian with SO-OCD, I feel so helpless. It's truly exhausting because no one I know understands what I'm going through. The first response is always, "You're just confused" or "You don't have to know yet." But that's not the issue, I do know. I just never see any lesbians with SO-OCD so I feel so invalidated. These thoughts flood my brain constantly, forcing me to analyze my reactions to every man I see. I feel trapped in an endless cycle of "testing" myself, trying to prove that I don't like them. But my brain fights back, telling me I do want to love a man, making it feel real even though don't want it. It's terrifying. At this point, it's hard to even hold onto my identity as a lesbian because I'm so overwhelmed. I don't know if this is what real attraction is supposed to feel like, and that fear eats away at me. The truth is, when I think about being with a man, all I feel is disgust and fear-but my brain twists that into doubt. I hate it. I'm at the point where I'm scared I'm going to have to accept something I don't want because I don't know if this will ever go away. I miss who I was before all this.
- Date posted
- 9w
I struggle with HOCD or SOOCD. I’m a married young woman to an amazing husband. I’ve had this since I was 16 but it only came in flair ups. However this round started in October, and it’s been really rough and I would just break down all the time. I went up on my medication and I actually noticed a difference! My thoughts were still very present but I wasn’t really paying attention to them or giving them power. HOWEVER right when I thought I was getting better, my brain started feeling and saying to myself that I just know I am bi but you want to make excuses for it like “oh it’s normal to find someone hot since we as a society have an interpretation of what that looks like” or “I see the girl as myself and that’s what ‘turns’ me on” or “well I mean that girl looks kind of like a man” and it’s it’s making me spiral. I won’t ever come out as Bi as deep in my soul I don’t feel I am. I have always wanted to be with men sexually and romantically and that has not changed but my brain is making me believe I am and I just don’t want to admit it. Please help me, what has helped you?
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