It definitely does sound like you're getting pummeled with these thoughts! It can feel that way once you start to resist some rituals - then the OCD might come back even stronger for a while. This is common and called an "extinction burst" - ie when you stop doing rituals for a while, the OCD can feel like it momentarily gets worse before it gets better. Try to continue to practice response/ritual prevention even throughout these waves when you're doubting yourself. You can do it!
Hey there thanks for replying. I’ve actually got to a weird stage now where my brain is almost rejecting anything that happens that proves the OCD wrong. For example I had a really nice and enjoyable time being ‘Intimate’ with my girlfriend. And i almost felt annoyed by it, as If I felt annoyed that I had enjoyed time with her in a way I hadn’t been able to. Since then I’ve spiralled into thinking that actually my whole life I had just been reacting to compulsion and mistaking the relief for enjoyment. It’s got to quite a toxic stage where now if anything proves my OCD wrong I get agitated and then spend forever ruminating on how my OCD thoughts must be true. It’s almost as if I’ve become scared of my OCD thoughts not being true where’s a few weeks ago I was scared that they were?