I feel like my ocd is throwing all it can at me! I’ve finally found my attraction to women again. But it’s sort of making me anxious that I feel somewhat normal. Now it’s like my OCD is saying “you don’t want this now do you?” It just feels like either way Im only content with the opposite of how Im feeling? Now if I have a fantasy or something Like that I end up telling myself that it was intrusive when I was the one who brought it up not my ocd? Is this level of being uncomfortable normal with recovery? Because right now these old feelings coming back feel so alien, I had got so used to always fighting my thoughts that it feels like I can’t stop fighting the thoughts that I want to have either.

Jenna Overbaugh

User type: Staff

Date posted: 3y

It definitely does sound like you're getting pummeled with these thoughts! It can feel that way once you start to resist some rituals - then the OCD might come back even stronger for a while. This is common and called an "extinction burst" - ie when you stop doing rituals for a while, the OCD can feel like it momentarily gets worse before it gets better. Try to continue to practice response/ritual prevention even throughout these waves when you're doubting yourself. You can do it!

BradOCD

Date posted: 3y

Hey there thanks for replying. I’ve actually got to a weird stage now where my brain is almost rejecting anything that happens that proves the OCD wrong. For example I had a really nice and enjoyable time being ‘Intimate’ with my girlfriend. And i almost felt annoyed by it, as If I felt annoyed that I had enjoyed time with her in a way I hadn’t been able to. Since then I’ve spiralled into thinking that actually my whole life I had just been reacting to compulsion and mistaking the relief for enjoyment. It’s got to quite a toxic stage where now if anything proves my OCD wrong I get agitated and then spend forever ruminating on how my OCD thoughts must be true. It’s almost as if I’ve become scared of my OCD thoughts not being true where’s a few weeks ago I was scared that they were?

Meg4n

Date posted: 21w

so-ocd seems to be flaring up again

I haven’t posted on here in a few days because I was feeling better but the past two days I’ve climbed my way back down the rabbit hole it seems. There’s this guy that I’m interested in and he seems to be interested in me. He keeps calling me pretty and how he’d like to meet me (he’s friends with my friends but I haven’t met him properly yet lmao) But I keep getting thoughts like “you’re not interested, you like women” and so on. I was feeling giddy about the whole thing up until two days ago where everything just seemed to shut off like my attraction, excitement and so on. I can’t believe I’m going through this again and I’m really trying to accept the thoughts but it’s so debilitating as I really want a bf but my brain keeps passing through thoughts that I do not want at all. Does anyone relate? Or have any coping strategies to help?

Sexual Orientation OCD

Holl1

Date posted: 19w

OCD

So I’ve noticed that my OCD has calmed down, I’m getting less intrusive thoughts but I feel more uncertain than ever. Is this normal for recovery?

LizM99

Date posted: 18w

Is this something OCD does?

Whenever anyone starts to feel like their thoughts are less triggering or they feel a moment of happiness/ relief OCD tells you that you want the thoughts back or you actually like having the thoughts and maybe thats just the person I really am? I feel like im going insane😢

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