I just did an exposure that was way too high for me: I read a coming out article, written by the writer of Orange is the New Black. She was in her 30’s and she realized she was gay while she was on set for season one. She took time to figure out if she was gay, and left her newlywed husband. She’s now with a woman. This is my biggest fear, as I’m in a relationship with a man I love and am in my early 30’s. My thoughts are “are you in denial? What if this turns into your story as well?” “What about those thoughts you had years ago?” I’m not looking for reassurance, rather help with getting myself out of this spiral. I did this exposure about an hour ago and feel so sick I can’t really eat. OCD makes things feel so painfully real. When I do exposures lower on my hierarchy, I typically feel so clear once I’m out of the anxiety- I can say “wow, that was my OCD. How incredible is that.” And move on. But I’m having a hard time reaching that point with this exposure. Help would be much appreciated 💙

It hasn’t - it has only provided temporary relief and then I’m back at it. I’ve realized with the appropriate exposures that I gain clarity, but this one was too high and OCD dug it’s nails in deep. Working on moving on, this completely knocked me on my rear. I appreciate your advice 🙏🏼

I’m so happy for you! Amazing! How did you get to this point with so-ocd?

@LizLemon Strange as this sounds, I started laughing at it. It became so ridiculous that it was comical even to me. I began to treat it like a joke, "I bet I'll be triggered 3 times on this walk around the neighborhood" or "OMG really? Of all the women in this world, THAT one with the straggly hair and messed up teeth is triggering?" And reframing it from super scary to something silly helped to dissipate it. It still rears its ugly head every now and then, but it's so much easier to ignore.

@scottsish I’ve heard of laughing at it being super effective as well- I have moments of that here and there, but mostly I get terrified immediately. I need to build up to laughing at it, but maybe my anxiety needs to decrease a bit first? I feel so messed up. Did laughing at it help relief your anxiety?

@LizLemon No, what I did was start laughing at it after the compulsions were done and I felt better and no longer scared/anxious. So laughing wasn't the first reaction bit rather the very last reaction until slowly it became the first reaction.

@scottsish Oh that’s great to know!!! Thank you! Can I ask you about how long it took you to recover?

@LizLemon I had it for 3 years. But that was because I didn't know it was OCD. Once I found out I was mentally ill, and started researching, being compassionate with myself, and laughing at it, recovery came in a matter of months. I think it only took like 2/3 months to not be bothered by the thoughts anymore. And now the thoughts are lessened. Not completely gone but not as constant or scary.

@scottsish I’m so happy for you 💛 I can’t imagine having to live with this for years! You’re incredible! Hoping to join you in recovery soon!

@LizLemon You're the sweetest!! Thank you! you're almost there. You're right at the end of this.

Thank you!!! So much. It’s gotten a little better since I posted, but I’m feeling depressed and exhausted. I know it’s high effort/anxiety for long term gain, but good grief this is so so so difficult.