Does anyone else try to find problems out of for example your partner? And then you have a bad day and kind of try to blame your partner even tho he didn't do anything?

Does anyone else unintentionally self sabotage their relationships? I tend to seek so much reassurance that they get sick of me. I only seek reassurance because I get scared that they're going to leave me (have abandonment issues) and then it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy because I worried so much that it ends up happening. I get trust issues about my partner cheating because I imagine worst case scenarios all the time and it really strains all of my relationships. Anyone else do this? What have you done to help?

Judgy thoughts. I constantly have thoughts criticizing my boyfriend. Some of these are based on insecurities like our height difference, him being shorter than me. It just feels like I always have these negative thoughts and feelings and I always feel like I need to tell my boyfriend. I **know** they’re hurtful but I feel like I’m being dishonest or something if I don’t say something. Why do I constantly want to point out his shortness or if he has a smell that may not be too pleasant (completely human, nothing foul). Why can’t I ever keep it to myself. I used to be able to because I think the normal thing is to notice and move on. I don’t understand why I just can’t or why these thoughts are so persistent. Like I’m constant looking for a flaw. It’s so draining and I can’t imagine how exhausting it is for him apart from confusing and hurtful :( I love him

My partner has chronic depression and sometimes getting out of bed is a struggle. I took off a couple days work to have a long weekend for our anniversary, and I’m worried about the quality of our weekend. It’s been pretty rainy so we’ve stayed home, it’s very nice out today, but my partner is stuck in bed while I want to go out for a picnic. I’m stuck in my head that these kinds of plans are make or break, and that the weekend will be a waste if we can’t go out. I’m just having a hard time feeling positive when my partner is depressed, and I seek out ways to soothe, these apps being one