My partner and I recently had our 3 year anniversary, and it’s been incredible. I love him so much and celebrating our relationship is important to me, but recently I think my relationship OCD has been triggered.
I keep wondering if I’m doing the right thing. Should I still be with him? Is 3 years too long? What if it doesn’t work out? Will I wish I ended it now?
But at the same time I love him and want to build a future with him. I feel like my options are to get married within a year or break up within a year, but neither feel right. I want to be content with where we are now, but the uncertainty of it all is driving me crazy.
I’m also worried that since we’ve been dating so long that I’ve become dependent on him/lost myself. I don’t think this is true, in the past we both worked on avoiding codependency actively. But now I’m feeling myself slip and I’m afraid I’m not capable of doing this without him.
I’m by myself for the first time in a while tonight and I’m noticing how unraveled I am, I’m just afraid this means I need to end things?
I know this is a jumble of thoughts and worries and I don’t know what I expect to gain, I just need to get it out there somewhere