- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
That is so classic OCD. All the doubts and fears. It seems like you have a really nice and stable relationship. And then comes OCD and makes you question everything. I can relate to that! But if you've had it before I can only advise you to do ERP on it. Do it on the thoughts, do it on the feelings. Do it on the idea that hey maybe it might not be ocd (bc ocd likes making us feel like it's not ocd when it is). I've had all the thoughts you mentioned above. That's just part of ocd. You can do this ❤️
I’m commenting on my older post to document how I’m doing a year and a half later/for me to revisit. Relationship OCD is honestly one of the cruelest, so learning to lean into the uncertainty and discomfort of relationships has been a huge game changer. I’m still with my partner and I love him more everyday. It sounds cheesy, but it’s true. He’s one of the only people I know who is genuinely caring enough to provide help in the ways I actually need. When I realized I was using his reminders as a compulsion, he worked with me on how to help me by giving me the space I need to confront my responsibilities on my own time. He’s truly patient and kind, I’m so grateful for him in my life. I still have worries “am I doing the right thing? What if it’s not?” so responding to those thoughts with “idk, maybe this is the wrong thing. Oh well” has been helpful. We’re currently talking about getting engaged, and I’m genuinely excited. There’s a lot of uncertainty, but he’s worth building a life with. It has been scary recently, our close friends recently broke up unexpectedly. They were also talking about getting engaged, so I’ve been a little triggered. Something like this could have shut me down a year ago, but I’ve been doing alright. When the OCD says “how do you know that’s not going to happen to you?” I say, “I don’t. Oh well.” Basically, looking back on this old post made me reflect a bit on how we’re doing now, and I’ve been so happy to see the progress in our relationship and my OCD management. It gets better, it’s worth the work. Sometimes when I wonder why I’m doing therapy that makes me so uncomfortable, it’s good to remember that the people I love are worth the work.
For the past 3 months ish I’ve been struggling on and off with this anxiety and fixation over my relationship. To wondering if i still have feelings for an old friend, wondering if i actually love him, wondering if the thoughts are all real and im just trying to cover it up with ocd. It sucks, when im talking to my boyfriend i feel fine. The words i love you and talks about the future come naturally. I can’t imagine myself with anyone but him. But this constant rumination on my relationship is KILLING me and I’m scared it’s going to ruin what i have. It makes me numb and disconnected which therefore makes me believe the thoughts even more. They just feel so real sometimes and it’s so scary like why can i not just enjoy it. We’ve been together for a while so i know there’s periods of like feelings ebb and flowing but this is so much more. It’s just constantly sitting on my chest with anxiety. My compulsions are coming on this app, looking at photos of us and confessing it to him. He’s very understanding and helpful. I love him so much. I just need help / I’m also just starting new meds as well ..
I feel like I want to break up with my partner and go off and experience things like falling in love and butterflies and magic again. My partner is my home and my family and my rock and we’re compatible but sometimes it feels like I have these unfulfilled needs. And then ocd comes in and SCREAMS about these things and pulls me away from my partner. We’ve been together ten years. It says leave leave leave leave leave. And I feel like deep down I don’t want to stay. But I know love is a choice. How can I choose to stay when my body is screaming rub. I know I have ocd, and this is what ocd feels like, and I also have a lot of trauma regards to attachment. Am I being a coward??? Will this ever end?
I’ve been really struggling the last week and I need some help. I’ve been seeing a guy for about 2 months who checks a lot of my relationship boxes. He’s so kind and we have a lot of fun together. The first few weeks I was totally smitten but had moments of fear about being committed. We talked about it and decided to take things slowly, and then I would have days of feeling like every thing was perfect with some fearful feelings in between. Two weeks ago now my SO-OCD and ROCD started to come back a little as well as my more anxious-avoidant behaviors. I started to get more scared of the future and it was more intense. At the end of last week, he asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes. He is exactly the type of person I see myself marrying and has great values and is so secure about me. Until last week, he generally made me feel so safe and secure. Ever since saying yes, I feel so scared and anxious and my SO-OCD and ROCD is on max. I also find myself getting more annoyed and irritated about things that were minor annoyances or non-issues before. I’m having intense physical responses to both OCD themes, and the nagging thought and feeling that I need to end things with him because we aren’t right for each other. It makes me feel so sad and guilty. Sex is becoming harder because of the thoughts too, whereas at first it was perfect. I don’t know who I can talk to about this without them telling me to just break up with him. Everything is so new so I think they’d chalk it up to my intuition. But I do want to be in love and have less fear around relationships, so I don’t want to give into the fear. I think it could help me to set boundaries and have space for myself more often. I think I need some advice or insight. I know I shouldn’t ask for reassurance, but having some around how other people have felt at the beginning of a relationship would help. Why is it that the label is freaking me out so much? How do you guys set boundaries to prioritize yourself when you feel this way?
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