I keep washing my hands again and again and again. I touch things and don't stop until it's perfect. I am confused about my sexuality. I rethink things that I have done and sometimes I have to force myself to stop thinking that something bad will happen to those I love. I tell myself to be positive but at the end of the day I'm still not able to fight it. I tell myself tomorrow I will be different. It will all stop. Next day there I am repeating things and the worst feeling is when it's pulling me towards it even though I'm trying hard to fight back. It's never enough until it's perfect.

this sounds just like ocd unfortunately. with it never being enough, always raising the bar, always wanting more and more, and generalizing to different areas until it snowballs out of control - that's ocd in a nutshell. it is really difficult but i always tell my members, the first way to dig yourself out of a hole is to stop digging your hole deeper. try really hard when the ocd tells you to do things one more time or up the ante, try to resist it as much as you can. it will feel hard, it will feel like you need to or you can't move on until you do this ritual one more time - i encourage you to postpone that ritual or reduce it in whatever way possible. the feeling of anxiety will pass. reach out to us if you need some more support.