- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Your looking for reassurance and depending on your beliefs people are going to answer This question differently so you’re not going to get the answer you want
- Date posted
- 3y
I know it is so hard I was thinking of killing my my self today just can’t take this anymore it’s horrible
- Date posted
- 3y
Your life is worth so much more than your sexuality. I promise ocd isn’t worth taking your life for
- Date posted
- 3y
Please call the hotline if you need help
- Date posted
- 3y
I don’t think your sexuality can change, mine never has... did you always think like this, or was it after a difficult time in your life. Did you get harassed from individuals... about your sexuality? I got harassed, constantly about my sexuality... I’m straight, but because these people scrutinised my orientation so much, I started to question myself. But I never questioned myself before. That’s the answer for me
- Date posted
- 3y
No I didn’t always think of this it was after a hard time in my life
- Date posted
- 3y
In that case, I think you’re suffering from ocd, it’s very much similar to what I went through. I was harassed and it was like brainwashing... I began to believe what they were telling me. After the harassment for 2yrs, I started to have those thoughts. You see, you worry about being gay, you don’t like the thoughts... of being intimate with someone of the same sex. So therefore you’re not gay. If you was homosexual, you would enjoy those thoughts... but you don’t. The thoughts I had got to such a point, that they made me sick. I felt physically nauseous.
- Date posted
- 3y
I began having thoughts about other people and their motives towards me. Like, if I was in the company of another man, I would look at them looking at me... and a thought would pop in my head. I would think... “is he gay, is he looking at me because he fancy’s me. Does he think I’m gay, does he think I fancy him...?” I would totally get freaked out by it. Before the harassment, I was very comfortable with my fellow men. It was girls I was nervous about.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
Sort of a rant that probably sounds stupid and I’m kind of seeking reassurance… I’m still a relatively young teenager so I know I’ve got time to work all this out but I’m really confused about my sexuality. (I’m a girl) I’ve never been in a relationship (I don’t know if I want to be which is why I’m writing this) and sometimes I feel like I’ve never really had a crush and I just convinced myself that I did because I wanted to feel normal… but then maybe that’s false memory ocd??? I don’t really want to be in a long term relationship with a guy and idk about girls but idk if that’s just cos of my age??? Some days I hate the idea of ever dating, marrying or doing anything sexual. Other days I wish my mental / physical health was better so I could date someone! Everything I feel goes up and down a lot and idk why!? I have bad sexual intrusive thoughts that make me unsure whether anything that I think is real and my parents recently split up after not getting along for a few years. I don’t know if it’s my age, my ocd, my parents bad relationship, my sexuality (am I attracted to guys, girls? Am I ace!!!!???) Or something else but I have no idea who I am and I KNOW I’m young and have time but some other perspectives might help???? Can I ever be in a relationship if I have ocd like this? Also I’m really struggling not to compulsively seek reassurance and I don’t know who to talk to about all this irl I know I probably shouldn’t share this with random strangers but also idek if I care anymore 😭
- Perfectionism OCD
- Relationship OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Real Events OCD
- LGBTQ+ with OCD
- OCD newbies
- Sexual Orientation OCD
- Date posted
- 24w
I’ve tried accepting the uncertainty, I’ve accepted I may be gay, bi or still straight. I’ve tried doing ERP myself to the best I can. When I accept that I’m gay or bi why doesn’t my head agree and move on? Why does it still question it? I know I don’t want to be at all. I love my family. But I just want this to move on. I want to enjoy life. Why can’t I find women attractive again? (Brief moments I do). I seriously don’t understand the false attraction? I’ve tried agreeing with it but it won’t let this drop. Why am I attracted to the same sex? Why am I attracted to people I would never thought of looking at? Why does it give me such grief about this? I know I shouldn’t look at adult content but why can I only feel good watching either lesbian or females? I tried to agree with the gay but it makes me sick and horrendous I even considered this? I just want my life back.
- Date posted
- 19w
Last night I took my meds to help me sleep and I kept waking up throughout the night with thoughts like “I’m really a lesbian now” or “I’m ok with it now, this is what I prefer”. I really feel like everyday for a couple of days now, I’ve woken up feeling more and more like my preferences have completely changed. The first few days was major anxiety, panic attacks, then I had a really bad double-bind and reversal spiral, and I became a little bit calmer since then. Now I feel like I’m managing the thoughts without anxiety or panic like I’m used to, but now it feels like I really want them and that I’m ok with it. Like I don’t care anymore. But the thing is, in between all of the mini spiral episodes I’ve had, I had these little moments of clarity like “I’m not giving up on my fantasies of men” or “I’ve always wanted men, that doesn’t just change”. But last night I’ve had really sexual dreams that I’m having trouble interpreting. I had one where I think it was me sleeping with a guy, but I woke up frantically because I think the roles got reversed, but I’m not sure. Another one I was a random woman with a husband, but I think the roles got reversed again so I woke up immediately. Both times it felt like arousal. Obviously I still care somewhat if I’m still here asking, but my brain or maybe me (I’m really not sure anymore) is telling me that I’m a lesbian now and I prefer it. It’s like I don’t care and want it now. It’s like I’m not even feeling confusion about it. I don’t know if it’s because of the meds, I’ve been distracted (family in town), because I’m in maybe quieter stages after two bad spiral episodes, or because I’ve really changed. It’s literally like I think being a lesbian will be enjoyable now but I don’t want that, even if my brain (and body apparently) keeps telling me that. I was told that ocd doesn’t change who you are, but now I’m worried that what I thought was background noise leading up to another spiral was suppressed self discovery (I’ve had two major soocd episodes in my life: late high school and now a few years later).
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond