- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
Hey gal, sounds like you’ve been doing a lot of ruminating and have worked yourself up into a hightened state. OCD has really jumped on this for you and is not going to let you let it go without a fight. You have done nothing wrong… but me giving you that reassurance will not satisfy your OCD unfortunately. The best thing for you to do right now is disengage from the conversation. Every time it pops into your head let it go in and out without analyzing, ruminating, self punishing, etc. Lean into your feelings of guilt, anxiety, etc. do not avoid the thoughts or emotions. Use “maybe, maybe not” 🤷🏼♀️ and continue on with your day. Let OCD tell you you’re a bad person, blah, blah, blah and just disengage or respond with 🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️ I’m sorry you’re feeling so scared. You’re going to be ok I promise
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank your for your response truly you are so kind, I just hate how when It happened I felt like I wanted to do it to enjoy it even though the whole time I hated it and was just trying to think of normal things I even tried to gauge the difference between the thought to see if I enjoyed one I’ve the other.. I know it’s ocd but sometimes it feels so real like that maybe this is me and this is what I really want that I’m just in denial.. I just wish this would go away I feel so guilty and so much shame and disgust just horrible.. I will try to just sit with this and use “maybe, maybe not” as well. Thank you for your response again because I was really confused and contemplating everything your so kind 🥺
- Date posted
- 4y
@OneDayAtATime💭 Just remember it has to feel really really real to you otherwise it wouldn’t bother you and OCD needs it to truly bother you otherwise it wouldn’t be able to trap you like it does. OCD’s goal is to keep you trapped. It also only targets what you value you most in life. You’re so welcome. OCD loves to high jack masturbation, groinal sensations, urges, etc. It’s so horrible but with ERP I promise it’ll get so much better. Follow @jenna.overbaugh on Instagram
- Date posted
- 4y
Please know that if God is all merciful with you then you should also be merciful with yourself, we will make mistakes we are human and God expects us to make those mistakes. Learn from them. Have you spoken to a therapist? Getting treatment is the best option. You're not a lost cause, not unfixable, you haven't committed something unforgivable. Nothing is bigger than God's mercy. He loves you, know this.
- Date posted
- 4y
*over
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
Hey guys today I just wanted to come here and share an experience I have and I generally don't know what to do I feel like a terrible person for having these thoughts and for thinking them I genuinely don't know what to do I don't know the signs behind it and why I think the way I do but it's honestly driving me crazy I don't know what to do I have a pornography addiction for a long time it's where it's like anytime I'm an intimate moment or am masturbating my head just thinks these weird things always the same repetitive thoughts to of family members your younger sibling or a young child I myself am a 17 year old and I feel so disgusted I feel like I can't live my life anymore I feel like I'm a criminal cuz like it feels like I chose this these thoughts like I actively think them I don't know the signs behind it and I just really need professional help if there's any like therapist here that could fill me in that would be nice I would also like to know if you guys had any similar experiences because for me I feel like I have to rewatch pornography and do it right without the thoughts cuz I feel like the thoughts are just like to prevalent anytime I do anything related to masturbation why do I think this way I'm also just trying to be as honest as I can with this I'm not trying to make myself I guess a victim I'm trying to hold myself accountable if I actually am like this because I also have doubts in my head that tells me that I enjoy these things I feel like I'm going crazy someone help because it feels so real like I acted on them or that I was pleasuring myself to the thoughts and not towards the video it's just how can I live with myself you know also during it it felt like I was thinking the thought for a long period of time like it was dominating my head so I couldn't focus it felt l
- Young adults with OCD
- NOCD Therapy Alumni
- Students with OCD
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- False Memory OCD
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- Real Events OCD
- Date posted
- 20w
My mind is telling me I'm the only one who is dealing with something like this. Idk why I did my biggest BIGGEST fear. I was put on a new medication when this happened which caused me to spiral, my thoughts to be more often, and have insomnia. I have been diagnosed with POCD as well. I woke up in the middle of the night when my child was laying completely cross my chest. I was breathing and having groinal sensations. My mind told me that I assaulted her by this, and I was going to prison for it. My thoughts started going like this, "you're already bad might as well do something else", "no sense in stopping now" "you can finally do what you've always wanted", "what would you do if you could do anything to cause harm" So I had to think of what to do in the moment. The only thing I could think to do was move my elbow towards my child's groin. In the moment it felt like I really wanted to do this. I proceeded to do so, and my elbow touched her groin. I immediately told my child to move off me. I then went back to sleep. When I woke up, I began panicking, confessing to a family member what happened, and crying immensely. I feel like I failed as a mother. I'm in such distress since I started sleeping on the floor to avoid it from happening again, and I got off the medication. I'm so much better OCD wise since I got off the meds. I was the BEST mom months ago before this happened. The thoughts have always bothered me, and I was always scared I would give in and act on them. I'm living my worst nightmare. I feel alone. Felt so so wanted in the moment and SO real. Which I don't understand. Ugh. Could someone just give me some support?
- Date posted
- 14w
I had a compulsion to look up “child nudity” on google to see people’s opinions on whether nudity in children is sexualized or not. This came from a whole other obsession that I’m not going to get into right now. I had another compulsion to click on images and I told myself I didn’t want to I had a compulsion to look up “child nudity” on google to see people’s opinions on whether nudity in children is sexualized or not. This came from a whole other obsession that I’m not going to get into right now. I had another compulsion to click on images and I told myself I didn’t want to do that but still did it anyway. I saw one boy naked from the front. I immediately closed the tab but then got another compulsion to look again to confirm what I saw. I searched again and looked on images this time seeing a toddler girl nude from the back. I closed the tab and got a compulsion to look at the first image again to confirm the approximate age of the boy in the first picture and this time saw a girl toddler nude from the front. Doing all of this I yelled at myself to stop and when I saw the last picture of the girl I started crying. I’m still in tears and I’m so scared. I have another urge to look at the source of that photo with the boy again to confirm he wasn’t getting sexually exploited in that image. It was from 1920 and he had a straight face so I’m worried I actually saw something really bad. These images weren’t sexualized I think but are they still considered CP? Did I just see illegal material? Either way I just looked at photos of nude children 3 separate times and now I hate myself more than I ever had before. I feel like I shouldn’t be alive right now. I’m a disgusting human being l don’t deserve to live what is wrong with me. I don’t care if this is ocd I gave into a really inappropriate compulsion and didn’t stop myself. I’m not afraid I’m going to harm children I know for a fact I would never do that but this is a step too far. How do I continue living with myself. I messaged my therapist for the first time and she said we can have a session tomorrow but I’m an absolute mess right now. I’m crying so hard I gave myself a headache and it’s getting hard to breathe correctly.
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