Fuck, my friend told me that her crush kissed her today, and now my brain can’t stop telling me “you like her, feel sad!”, but shit, my brain does this with all my friends, I’ve had thirds thoughts with all of them, and omg I’m so tired of this, I can’t have friends anymore, I hate OCD.

wow, reading this made me want to die

The problem is that I can't just "accept" the maybe, and it makes me more and more anxious, I can't even talk to my friends.

@julialima girl, last year i was in the exact same position as you. i couldn’t even look at some of my friends because of how scared i was of potentially being attracted to them. it felt so true, so real and i thought it would never end, and i that would be living in that waking nightmare forever. then i got scared of something else. and now 3 themes later i look back and think how crazy i was to believe those thoughts, but at the time i believed them so deeply. the truth is, even now, you can never tell what’s true and false until you stop being afraid. and you can’t stop being afraid, you have an anxiety disorder. so there’s only one thing to do and that’s to stop giving a sh*t about your thoughts. easier said than done, i know, but learn to realise that YOU are nothing more than an observer of your thoughts. you watch them. that’s it. and once you start to disconnect yourself from your thoughts and the feelings they give you, stop getting so caught up in them and accept that they will be there, you start to give less of a sh*t, and you start to become less afraid. it sounds awful, but how long have you been ruminating for? how long have you been trying to come to a conclusion and feel better? how exhausted are you? whatever you’re doing to try and feel better right now isn’t working, and it will never work, because you have ocd, and you’re doing compulsions which just make it worse. try giving up the fight with your brain, accepting the feelings that pop up, and realising that all you’re going through is a biological malfunction. it has nothing to do with YOU

@katie02 The only thing that calms me down is thinking “I have other OCD themes, all of this couldn't be happening at the same time, none of these thoughs are true” but sometimes it's so distressing that I just want to lock myself in a room and never leave, and I'm already trying to not give a shit, and it always seems like I'm in denial about my obsessions, and having them makes me feel envy of other teenagers, everyone gets to live their lives, be happy and have fun, have normal days, and I just I can't live normally with my OCD problems, I can't relate without having so many intrusive thoughts. sometimes I just wanted to be normal.

@julialima i know, i feel the same. i sometimes can’t believe that other people don’t have to go through this. i’m 16 and i’ve been dealing with this badly since i was 14. i feel like i’m wasting my teenage years worrying, and it hurts. but i know we’ll both be okay one day, because we’re surviving through hell. so we can survive through anything.

@katie02 Sometimes I feel really bad about being drawn to be born with OCD, because we didn't do anything to deserve so much suffering, and the lives of all the teenagers around me seem so happy and peaceful while I'm in a storm. I wish this could be over.

Difficult to overcome because its like wtf ..... Im still struggling with this too but in my personal opinion is to just let the random thoughts say what they want. And remain present.

@HiOcd You're right, I'm trying to just ignore it and get on with my life, no matter how anxious it makes me :(

@julialima Its difficult i cave into compulsions more than just letting intrusive thoughts urges feelings etc just pass by. All i can say is we gotta take it day by day.