milliemoo
- Date posted
- 3y
sba994sba994
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
Hi All, I relate to every bit of what you guys are going through and sharing. It's distressing for life. I would love to talk to you guys more and know how we can overcome this collectively, have a good relationship with our desired partner and get our authenticity to every aspect of our life.
BradOCDBradOCD
- Date posted
- 3y
I feel the same. Everyone says that SOOCD won’t change your sexuality. But surely ruminating this deep into yourself with have some sort of effect. I feel like it definitely has on me. I don’t want it anymore, everytime I feel like I’m getting better it comes back even worse than before it’s so so convincing. And the lack of anxiety makes it even more so
milliemoomilliemoo
- Date posted
- 3y
Me too, I’ve had a couple months of being able to not worry about it before but this has been the worst spiral I’ve had. It’s really ruining my life.
BradOCDBradOCD
- Date posted
- 3y
@Dialup But now I’m starting to worry that I was born gay but just never realised. I had always been attracted to girls and always enjoyed dates and relationships with them. My first sexual relationship wasn’t great, because I had a medical issue that made sex quite painful, but actually when we really got to know eachother it got a lot better… even amazing. Then with my current gf I was very nervous at first but then I remember sitting there and just thinking “finally everything has clicked… there’s nothing I don’t like about this relationship.” It was actusllt after that moment that I got so scared it was going to go that the ROCD started. When this got at its peak it turned into HOCD. But even as I write this it sounds like denial
BradOCDBradOCD
- Date posted
- 3y
@Dialup But it feels like I have found my answer but I’m just in denial about it. I’m happy with my girlfriend but feel like a fraud still having these thoughts when I’m around her. It makes me feel so bad. And with all this going on my relationship is such a trigger that sometimes idk If its making me happy anymore. But then thinking about it it does make me happy
BradOCDBradOCD
- Date posted
- 3y
I’ve literally not stopped thinking about it for probably 3 months now. It’s just endless from the moment I wake to the moment I go to sleep
reneeeeeereneeeeee
- Date posted
- 3y
I relate to this so much, I’ve been feeling the exact same
Jenna OverbaughJenna Overbaugh
- User type
- Staff
- Date posted
- 3y
This can be a big trigger for a lot of people who have ROCD/SOOCD. The unfortunate reality is that there is no way of knowing 100%. It can almost feel like if we just think about it a little more, if we just ruminate a little more, then we will know - that somehow we will have that moment of clarity or certainty but unfortunately that will not happen. That moment will never come for anything in life - there is no certainty especially about the unanswerable questions that OCD gives us. I would encourage you to try as hard as you can to resist trying to answer these questions - it is all uncertain and the more you try to resist answering the questions, the less burning of questions they will seem .
BradOCDBradOCD
- Date posted
- 3y
But for me they’re less questions now they’re more demands like “you must be gay… you want to be… you don’t love your partner etc…”
BradOCDBradOCD
- Date posted
- 3y
@BradOCD They stared out as questions but not anymore
Related posts
Vee <3
- Date posted
- 22w
Heyyyy!
So my OCD has been bad lately. I’ve been ruminating and obsessing over my sexuality again. And it just keeps getting worse. I hate it so much. I try to sit with the discomfort but then my ocd does the backdoor spike. And the groinal response is what keeps me looped. It SUCKS. I am not attracted to men, but my OCD is trying SO hard to convince me that I am. There have been days where I’m just so mentally exhausted that I “accept” what my ocd tells me and I just walk around a hollow, lethargic shell. But then I rethink it and I feel better. It feels like I can only find my TRUE self when I tire my nervous system out enough that it literally breaks down and has me suicidal and hopeless. And then accepting my OCD’s “truth” (that I’m attracted to men) feels like a burden and a chore. I woke up today from an OCD dream, tried to go back to sleep, and my stomach kept cramping bc I was so anxious and ruminating over my intrusive thoughts. I’m starting to doubt it being OCD anymore. My brain is too tired to fight and cry about it anymore.
anonymouscookie
- Date posted
- 17w
so ocd and bisexuality
Hello everyone, I just wanted to share a part of my journey that I’m struggling with right now. I’ve been diagnosed with ocd and while this is not my first subtype, ROCD and so ocd have definitely been the ones I’ve been struggling with the most. For context I have a boyfriend who I love very much and am terrified of loosing. That’s probably what ocd latched onto. The so-ocd especially is tricky because I’ve come to acknowledge that I am bisexual. Don’t worry I didn’t “discover” this through ocd, I’ve always known and it’s been in the back of my mind way before ocd, I had just never really directly acknowledged it because romantically I just always leaned towards men. The thing my ocd latched onto is “what if you are actually a lesbian and don’t know it yet and will have to leave your partner or are lying to your partner or end up leading him on” The thing is, I don’t have much experience with women except kissing my female best friend once, which didn’t feel special or made me have romantic feelings for her. I’ve always seeked men more actively than women and didn’t feel like I was gonna miss out if I get into a serious relationship with a man before having had more experience. I just know that I can be sexually attracted to women as well. But now that I’m in this beautiful relationship I’m terrified of getting it wrong or having missed something about myself or being scared that I’m actually a lesbian and have been lying to myself all along. I’m not seeking reassurance, just wanting to share and maybe someone else is going through something similar? If so I’d be so grateful to know I’m not alone. I love my boyfriend dearly and i really hope we will work out in the long run.
evasprog
- Date posted
- 10w
New sort of intrusive thought
Hello, so I’ve been struggling really badly with so-ocd where I am worried that I’m not actually straight when that’s what I’ve always thought and wanted to be. I’ve been with my boyfriend for about 2.5 years now, he’s my first boyfriend and I really love him so much and want to spend the rest of my life with him. I remember one time, before I had struggles with so-ocd, I had a thought along the lines of ‘what if I’m missing out on other men by staying with him’ and it didn’t really cause any anxiety but I felt quite guilty for thinking that. But I moved on. However, right now I’m in the depths of so-ocd it started back in March I believe, and today I had a thought along the lines of ‘what if I never get the opportunity to try being with a woman because I’m in a relationship with a man’ and that has really set me off today. I’ve had a meltdown over it, my chest feels heavy and it felt so real like I actually wanted it and I had a feeling of wanting to be gay even though that’s not what I want in life. Why is this happening to me and I feel so horrible for thinking this like it felt like it was me and not the ocd and that I’m just lying to myself and my boyfriend. I’ve tried scrolling on here to see if anyone has had a similar thought or experience and I am aware that this is reassurance seeking but I just need someone to tell me that I’m okay
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